You can find me over at my new blog.
Continuing the Journey
Just a reminder…Come to my other blog and follow me there!
Hello once again! I have decided that while I value and hold close the journey I have shared here on this blog (which I started eactly three years ago…three, holy number, that’s right), I have started a new blog to continue to sare in my journey. I beg you, please come and join me over there to keep sharing in the journey of life. Thank you for all the comments and support you have given me thus far in my life! There is still so much to learn, so I will see you all later and more often once again!
Continuing the Journey
Hello once again! I have decided that while I value and hold close the journey I have shared here on this blog (which I started eactly three years ago…three, holy number, that’s right), I have started a new blog to continue to sare in my journey. I beg you, please come and join me over there to keep sharing in the journey of life. Thank you for all the comments and support you have given me thus far in my life! There is still so much to learn, so I will see you all later and more often once again!
Coming Back
For those who follow me more often, you may have noticed I dissapeared for a while. The journey that I have traveled since I have come back to my parents house from living in religious formation has been one that is taking over my life. While there have been some ups, I have lived in mostly downs. The thing I have realized is that I do have a couple great people to help me stay on track.
All this being said, I am trying to jump back into the blogging world. I am not sure what will be posted, though I do have some ideas. Part of the plan may include restarting a new blog to just start over, though I am not so sure yet. Just be on the look out! There is another blog that I am a part of that I may try to get running again. Please stick around and join me once again on this journey of faith. Tomorrow I start up once more!
What Keeps the Lepers Going…and YOU!
The reflection on today’s Gospel is one that I was struck by. Thus, I have decided that I am going to re-type it up here for all of you to see. The Gospel passage is from Luke 17:11-19. First below is the Gospel to refresh your memory.
As Jesus continued his journey to Jerusalem,
he traveled through Samaria and Galilee.
As he was entering a village, ten lepers met him.
They stood at a distance from him and raised their voice, saying,
“Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!”
And when he saw them, he said,
“Go show yourselves to the priests.”
As they were going they were cleansed.
And one of them, realizing he had been healed,
returned, glorifying God in a loud voice;
and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him.
He was a Samaritan.
Jesus said in reply,
“Ten were cleansed, were they not?
Where are the other nine?
Has none but this foreigner returned to give thanks to God?”
Then he said to him, “Stand up and go;
your faith has saved you.”
The reflection is by John Janaro. He is a professor emeritus of theology and the author of “Never Give Up: My Life and God’s Mercy.”
What Keeps the Lepers Going
This disease is not who I am. The recognition of this is essential, but the translation of this judgement into a disposition of the heart requires a continual effort. It requires prayer. I am not entirely healed, which means I must live my relationship with God in the recognition that he wills the cloud to remain in some measure, as part of his loving plan for my life.
By God’s grace I have found that depression can be transformed into an awareness of my total dependence on God. I must beg him continually to deepen my awareness of my need for him. The good news, of course, is that he is here to meet that need, that dependence that really is who I am. Jesus Christ has untied my whole life to his. He is here, in every circumstance, in every difficulty. The cloud says, “I am nothing.” Humility says, “I am nothing without you.”
I noted above that depression can become a context for growing in love. But I don’t grow in love simply by figuring this out. It is possible to affirm, as a kind f external idea, that “God loves me” while at the same time being plunged into the cloud. I could write a brilliant theological treatise on the love of God for every human person and still be afflicted and crushed with the sense of being worthless. To grow in love is to grow in the heart.
I can grow because, in fact, Jesus really is here. He takes the initiative. He knows the depths of my sorrow, and he enters into me right there, where I think I am most alone. If I am talking to him (prayer), it is because he is already here. And he knows the language of the heart. He hears and understands my secret cry before I even know that I have made it. He answers, and he promises that he is not going to give up on my. I must never give up on him.
I sense that the cloud is not so big, because – after all – I am rather small.
“You, O God, are good.” And the nothingness of me is filled with the goodness of God. that is how it should be…
“Jesus, make me good. Make me holy. Make me yours.”
I think the reflections says it all…there is nothing else for me to say. Only this: that we must prayer for each other on our journeys of faith.
Find You On My Knees
Find You On My Knees by Kari Jobe
Troubles chasing me again,
Breaking down my best defence,
I’m looking, God, I’m looking for you
Weary just won’t let me rest and fear is filling up my head.
I’m longing, God I’m longing for you
But I will find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees.
So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
What if heartache still remains,
I’ll trust you, my god I’ll trust you.
‘Cause You are faithful and
I will find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees, my knees.
When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong
When the pain is real, when it’s hard to heal
When my faith is shaken and my heart is broken and my joy is stolen, God I know that
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
Find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees.
I find that this song is yet another one that really strikes me. It is a good description of me where I am at, and as well something I wish I had more of. I wish I could describe beyond that, but even the words I woud find would not suit what is inside of me. My hope is jsut that I find myself on my knees begging for aide from Heaven above, open to knowing what it is when it comes.
Connected
A little while ago, we took a trip to the zoo. When we were looking at the monkeys, I caught a glance of a quote on the wall. I was so in awe of it that I had to jot it down, that is, jot in the sense of a modern person in the sense of typing it into my iPod. Regardless, here is it in all its beauty.
“When one tugs on a single things in nature, he finds it connected to the rest of the world.” John Muir
WOW! Others may not see this as I do, but it makes no difference to me. There is something beautiful in this line that draws me to dig deeper into its meaning. Just the idea of a great connectedness makes my shiver. I see this not only in the complexity of nature that I adore being immersed in so much, but in the faith that drives me through those hard things I have been through and still am going through now.
Sometimes I just want to throw away and run away from the faith that has kept me all together. Sometimes what is happening within me seems stronger than any faith could ever handle. The thing is, all I need is one little something of faith. Even the tiniest glimmer to hold on to is enough. It is like the quote says. All I need to do is tug on even the smallest bit of faith and it will connect me to so much love and hope and faith that will keep me moving. If only it was as easy as it sounds. The best thing is, all need is that little bit, the rest will come…even if it takes what seems like forever to get there.
God is Wiser, God is Stronger
Yesterday I posted a song that appeared in my Facebook ads and really struck me. It was not too long after that roaming around on Facebook through statuses and photos that I found something else that struck me just as much as that video. What made it more interesting is who I found it from, but that I shall keep to my own. Let’s just say it made me smile. Anyways, I came across this and just all of a sudden stopped. I could not stop reading it over and over.
“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.” 1 Corinthians 1:25
Something just really strikes me, hits me inside, about that phrase. We can be as wise as ever and are strong as ever, but even then does God’s foolishness and weakness amount to more than our wisdom and strength. It sure puts a spin on things, doesn’t it? It doesn’t matter how on top of our game we are and how well off we are, God still is above us in His lowest point (not that God has many of those I would imagine).
So why does this strike me? I can think I have things handled and sometimes even feel like I know what is best. At times, I am doing really well and maybe I lose track of who is keeping me there. This is a reminder of how important God should be in my life. Sure, it reminds me of even more than that, but simply put…I can never outdo God or live without Him. Why then, do I constantly try to do things without Him or think that doing what He would want me to do is not the best option? Why do I try to run the show? I have been learning the hard way that it only causes more pain and trouble than I may already have in my life. Sometimes that is not enough to push me either, so then you bring in the friends who reinforce the point.
This bible passage is something I need to keep meditating on to put me back in check with what my life should really be about. How about you?
A Place In My Heart
As one may notice, I don;t blog as often as I used to. Perhaps I am not as inspired, or the enthusiasm for finding something to write about is missing. It is not that I have nothing to write about, for I have a world of things I could share. So it can still be wondered why not write more? Most of what floods my mind, my heart, my soul, and my entire being is too personal to share with the open world. One day perhaps. That being said, I do have a little something for you to munch on.
I have been wishing that a song would cross my path that would give cause for some reflection, and something to share here. The problem is, I really have only been listening to music in the car nice and loud to drown out the rest of the world inside of me. At home, I get un-excited to listen to my iPod. Maybe it could be the fact that there are songs there that can snap me back to reality and all the good things there for me if I put my trust in the right place. Regardless, I was looking at the annoying ads on the right hand column of the Facebook screen and say a YouTube video and clicked on it. This is the song that started to play.
Wow, right? It is called “A Place in my Heart” and it is by Irvin Evans. To me, a not-so well-known name in the Christian music world, yet appears on my ads at one of the many times that I need it the most when usually nothing comes up anywhere (that I have seen because you know, God has a million blessings everywhere and we miss them). Strange, don’t you think?
At first, it was purely the music itself, aside from all the words, that drew me in. This would play as a beautiful instrumental music. Then, as I listened to the words, it feels like the hidden prayer in my heart. As I have learned, and still see to be learning, I can’t just pray for things and hope they happen and that I will instantly heal. I need to give something and make room in my heart for what I am being given. This song has brought me to shed tears that I avoid letting go on a normal basis.
I want to pray this type of prayer fervently, but God, I need Your help to even talk to you. Even to talk to Mary, Mother of all, I find myself struggling. Let this song you have given me sink it and open my heart more and more. I can’t do this alone. Please fill all the places of my heart. Amen.
All I Want to Do
Upon leaving the formation program with the sisters, most of my life had this feeling of falling apart. Deep down I still have that draw to only live my life for God. I was given a list of things I need to do while away from the sisters, for I am able to return one day when I reach a certain goals put out for me. When having to live my life doing things my heart is not in, it becomes difficult to stay standing and do what I must do. In the end of the day I just need to remember and hold close to the fact that all I want to do is live my life for God. What will I do to make sure that it keeps happening, that I don’t forget what is most important and that I hold on to what God wants of me?
Out of the Depths 