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Tag Archives: discernment

Right Decisions

“To make a right decision in your vocation, you must meditate upon it before our Lord and pray, pray much.”  Don Cafasso to Don Bosco – Memoirs Volume II, page 162

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Posted by on November 5, 2011 in Living Salesian

 

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Big Step Forward!

Tomorrow I become an official postulant, no longer to be called a “postulant-to-be.”

I have been extremely open with my formator, whom I have great esteem for and look up to immensely.

The current provincial explained to me how where my heart is can be worked into that of which my heart is not located at; not sure how I feel about that yet.

The assistant of the community, who lives with us, is a sweetheart and no one could not love her.

This house is full of amazing sisters that I love to be around, especially hearing their stories.

I am ready…I am going to be a postulant…pray for me…I need it…

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Living Salesian

 

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Learning from Mother Mazzarello

When asked what I wanted to learn from Mary Mazzarello, I drew a blank stare in my mind.  We studied in pretty good detail, through reading the Cronistoria and Maccono, the life of Mother Mazzarello.  I had various reflections on what her life was like and how it could relate to my own journey to becoming, God-willing, a Salesian Sister.  To say now, though, what I want to learn from her appears very difficult.  This is what I have finally come up with.

I want to better know her life, her way of living, everything about here and relate it to my life.  Just to know her as the human person that she was here on earth over the saint that we praise her for today.  While they are one in the same, looking at her qualities that make her a saint causes one to forget about all the qualities that make her the whole person she was.  I want to learn the discernment and patience that she had with others.  In the end, I want to learn everything that I can from her.

There is no one particular thing that I wish to gain from this beautiful soul, but to soak up her life and who she was so that I may learn how to better be myself in this amazing institute.

 
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Posted by on September 22, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Living Salesian

 

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Mmm…Interesting

For some reason lately, the posts have been fewer and farther in-between.  I think I may have come up with some ideas or theories on why that may be so.  It is not that I don’t have much going on that is not deep and reflective nor is it that I don’t wish to share.  The internal workings of myself have been on overdrive.  I think more deeply and profoundly.  I feel even great than I have before.  I deal with much more than I may seem to.  The reflective bit of me is here just much as it ever was and just as willing to share as it ever has been.  What is the way I work is that I need to be comfortable in what I share and ready to put it into words that reach out, share, yet keep in private what must be kept as so.  Religious life pushes one in a way they have never really been pushed.  I can make al the comparisons in the world and such, but nothing with be like this, or even like what my past experiences have been, though they do play off of each other.

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Soul of Dark and Light

Boom! Bang!

lost, afraid, running

which way to go, where to turn?

darkness, cold, not a single star

it is empty, completely empty

how did I get here?

someone get me out!

wait, a light over there

where did it come from?

bright, oh so very bright

it is warm too

closer, not feel so lost

what?  follow you?

you want me to give up my life?

No Way!  light, darkness

alone again, scared again

no, not doing it

who is that there, more light

happiness again, even joy

follow me it says.  why?

I gave my life, give yours

NO Way!  light, darkness

it is so cold.  chill.

lost, afraid, falling

whoosh —– light fast moving

inspiring goodness blowing

just follow and let go

let go of your life and follow

NO WAY!  gone light

all darkness, cold

oh it is so cold, lonely

crash, pain, dark

come back!  overcoming dark

swallowing me whole

Come Back!  lead me

take me with.  faded dark

light, warmth, joy

outstretched hand, whoosh —–

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2011 in Creative Corner

 

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Born Again: Getting Goofy

Wednesday, God sent me some reminders that I needed to hear.  Being home is hard; it is challenging me a lot more than usual.  This time though, I am more well equipped to deal with those inner challenges.  The first of the reminders I spoke about in my last post.

As I had mentioned in the previous post, I was out with my friend Nicole.  As we don’t see each often, we were catching up on life and things important to us.  When I was speaking of how hard this past year of formation was, as well as how I know I have grown, she mentioned something or how she thinks I am in the right place. 

Later that evening when we were both online, we were just chatting.  This is how part of the conversation went.

ME: I am curious, why do you think I am in the right spot? (of course I would ask no surprise)

NICOLE: because you love it, and you can’t deny it, because you get that goofy look in your eyes every time you talk about what you’ve been doing

ME: Seriously?

NICOLE: yeah, like have you ever talked to people and you can just tell they LOVE it? i don’t know exactly how to explain it

If only I could describe how much better that made me feel.  To have someone see that in me that knows me more than anyone else is wonderful. I am blessed with wonderful friends.

As I was sitting there typing, I again put my iPod on shuffle and this is what came up.

Today I found myself
After searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he wasn’t at all who I thought he’d be
I was lost when you found me here
And I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you sang your song over me

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time
In my life

Make a promise to me now
Reassure my heart somehow
That the love that I feel is so much more real than anything
I’ve a feeling in my soul
And I pray that I’m not wrong
That the life I have now, it is only the beginning

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
For the very first time

I wasn’t looking for something that was more
Than what I had yesterday
Then you came to me and you gave to me
Life and a love that I’ve never known
That I’ve never felt before

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
I’m living for the first time
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
I’m living for the first time
In my life

This is what people have seen in me through all the challenges and growth of this year.  What an inspiration song that came on “random” and fits so well to what Nicole was telling me.  It really has given me something to think about.  God has sent me some reminders that I need to hear, and hear again.

 
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Posted by on June 10, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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Ask and Receive

This morning when I got up to go to mass, there was not a soul up in the house other than me.  Maybe if I had showered right away in the morning, someone would have awoken before I left.  It was interesting, the silence.  I kind of liked it, as if I was in a house living on my own being able to move about as I pleased.  It some respects it reminds me of being back at the convent.  The difference there is you can hear the water running and people walking, but no one talks to each other unless it is really needed. 

I was especially struck by the gospel reading today.  We did not actually do the prescribed reading and psalm for today, as the lectionary was not set correctly.  Father Tony did switch it when he got up to read the gospel.  In the “Word Among Us” there is a mediation based on one of the readings/psalms of the day for each day.  Today’s focused on the gospel.  The gospel reading is John 16:23b-28.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Amen, amen, I say to you,
whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.
Until now you have not asked anything in my name;
ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.

“I have told you this in figures of speech.
The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures
but I will tell you clearly about the Father.
On that day you will ask in my name,
and I do not tell you that I will ask the Father for you.
For the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me
and have come to believe that I came from God.
I came from the Father and have come into the world.
Now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.”

The line that struck me was this: “ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.”  I have always wondered about that line.  So many times people do ask, but say they never received what they asked for.  I would perhaps challenge them, and even myself, to think about why they are asking and what they are asking for.  Maybe God did give them something in response.  Then, though, I would ever go for something else.

At first glance it would seem that from that line, we would assume that we would get what ever we asked for and wanted.  This stemming from being told we will receive.  I feel that perhaps there is something implied that comes something missing that is not said in that line.  Try this: ask and you will receive as the Father knows best, so that your joy may be complete.  It could be some variation on that too, of course.  So maybe we do not receive as we thought we would, but in the end if it is what brings us the greater joy then what more of a response do we want?  Is it instant gratification that we look for?  This is only good in the short-term perhaps.  So, when you are not sure about having received something you asked for, think about the ways it could have come to you that may bring you joy in the future.

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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