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Tag Archives: peace

God’s Presence of Love

Twice today I felt God’s presence surrounding me.  They were both in the simple things that came along, but even so they were blessings to my day.

I got to meet with my formator today.  It was u pon my request based on two different things I wanted to bring to the table in terms of topics brought up to our group in formation.  We talked for at least an hour if I am not mistaken.  I was nervous, as I seem to always be whenever I talk one on one with people.  With that, as we were finishing prayers and heading to the dinner table, I felt a relief at having been able to have conversation with her.  God knows what He is doing, I just hope others in my life helping to guide me and I are tuning in to what He wants done and said in my life. 

The second is even more simple.  We had recreation tonight with sisters, postulant, and postulants-to-be.  There were two teams and we were playing pictionary.  I found myself sitting on the floor leaning against the couch with the two people I trust the most out here in the west on either side of me.  It felt safe.  I felt protected and watched over.  Love seemed to pour into me as I sat there.  Nothing was said.  We were in the presence of the entire group, yet in all of that I found comfort sitting between them. 

Praise God for the people He puts in my life!

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Posted by on September 2, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Hold Me Close

Tuesday night I had wanted to go swimming, but I guess that God had another plan for me.  He sent lightning and thunder to put an end to that idea.  Instead, I went to the chapel with my guitar for just under an hour and a half (though I did not realize that I was in there that long).  In the end of it, I wrote a second song.  I guess one could say I have a collection now.  Here are the words; I am still practicing the melody and chords (as well as the first one I wrote).  Please enjoy and reflect on them, just don’t take them away from me.

 

Many times I run from you, but in the end I run back

Peace is what I long for, in your arms I know it’s there

Hold me close to you, in your loving embrace

 

And it’s you whose calling me, to follow you

And it’s me who has to answer you, saying I’ll come

 

The road is not easy, many challenges I will face

Others may come along, to try and lead me astray

I will hold fast to you, listening for your voice

 

Cause it’s you whose calling me, to follow you

And it’s me who is answering me you, here I come

 

No matter what’s in front of me, I will turn to you

You have brought me this far, so why would I leave

I give you my whole life, to love and protect

 

For you have called me, to follow you

And I have answered you, here I am

Here I am, here I am

Hold me close, hold me close

 
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Posted by on July 28, 2011 in Creative Corner, Inner Reflection

 

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Soul of Dark and Light

Boom! Bang!

lost, afraid, running

which way to go, where to turn?

darkness, cold, not a single star

it is empty, completely empty

how did I get here?

someone get me out!

wait, a light over there

where did it come from?

bright, oh so very bright

it is warm too

closer, not feel so lost

what?  follow you?

you want me to give up my life?

No Way!  light, darkness

alone again, scared again

no, not doing it

who is that there, more light

happiness again, even joy

follow me it says.  why?

I gave my life, give yours

NO Way!  light, darkness

it is so cold.  chill.

lost, afraid, falling

whoosh —– light fast moving

inspiring goodness blowing

just follow and let go

let go of your life and follow

NO WAY!  gone light

all darkness, cold

oh it is so cold, lonely

crash, pain, dark

come back!  overcoming dark

swallowing me whole

Come Back!  lead me

take me with.  faded dark

light, warmth, joy

outstretched hand, whoosh —–

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2011 in Creative Corner

 

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Blessed with Adoration

Since coming home, I have been making sure that I don’t sleep in too much and rather go to mass in morning.  Usually at the parish, they have adoration on the first Thursday of the month.  I was kind of sad and disappointed when after mass, it did not go into adoration.  In having talked to a friend of mine online, she had mentioned that I should find somewhere to go to adoration more often while at home.  It was said in light of my needing to sort out some things going on currently.  It made sense to me, so I figured I would stay after mass yesterday for adoration.  I had to leave believing there must be a reason and I had to trust. 

Today I got a pleasant surprise.  Being the first Friday, they had decided to do adoration today.  It was such a relief to me to be able to be in the presence of Jesus in this form.  While I did not stay overly long, the little bit there was good.  There was also another priest at mass today.  I love when there is more than one priest celebrating the mass together.  I am not sure what it is, but it is good.

We started adoration with the Litany to the Sacred Heart.  Three lines stood out to me the most. This is the order that they come in when reading the litany, but I found them sticking out to me in reverse order.  Why they stick out to me, I am still thinking about that. 

Heart of Jesus, full of goodness and love.

Heart of Jesus, patient and most merciful.

Heart of Jesus, our peace and reconciliation.

When we finished the litany, I prayed the morning prayer as we do with the Sisters in community.  I must say though, it is weird to being praying it on my own.  As I was doing that though, I reminded myself that in the heart of Jesus, I am with the others praying it as well. 

As I sat in adoration, I started writing down my thoughts I was sharing with Jesus.  I told Him my struggles and the questions in my heart and mind that I am trying to figure out.  I thanked Him and let Him know where I am at in my life.  Jesus responded in my heart.  I heard Him call me His little sister and tell me that He can not give all the end answers.  He said he would walk with me and guide me along the little steps that bring me to the bigger answers.  I am supposed to be patient and trust in Him, to be at peace and not give up. 

Of course I wanted to respond.  I told Jesus that it is not as easily done and said.  For me, being home provides an inner challenge to the heart.  I did not tell Jesus this next part in my writing but I am sure He knows, when you are living in the faith community things are much easier.  I asked Jesus if I was missing something.  Again He replied, calling me His little sister.  I was told in my heart to be patient.  It came up that I am a person of great awareness and that I will see what I need.  He wanted us to then just pray together.  Jesus told me that He loves me.  I told Him that I love Him too. 

Many people may be not sure of what to say about this type of conversation.  I write what I feel in my heart.  To me, it was reassuring and good.  For the rest of the time that I stayed, I just gazed at Jesus looking for peace and wisdom.  I prayed for healing for me and for others I am close to.  It was good to be there, with Jesus, knowing I have the best support in life. 

With that, I again thank my friends and Salesian community for everything they have done for me.  You were put in my heart today during adoration for whatever reason God intended, so I am grateful. 

Take time to be at peace today.  Jesus knows your heart.

 
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Posted by on June 3, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Cape May Point Part Two

The last I left you was when I was heading off to Fooch’s house for dinner and some TV.  Jen decided that she would just let me go and have some retreat time to herself.  I agreed and headed off with her car.  We had chinese food and watched “So You Think You Can Dance.”  As was usual, I left around nine to head back to Mary’s House.  It was a good evening.  When I returned, Jen and I just hung out in the room talking and eating chocolate.

This morning, I had a small conversation with the girl from the last post.  We had both went to the bathroom at similar times and found ourselves washing our hands at the same time.  She asked me what time I got up this morning.  I told her I was not sure, but I knew it was early as always.  She said that she usually sets her alarm for 6am, but always wakes up at 5am. Crazy…anyone?

We ate breakfast with the groups this morning, kind of.  We more so sat outside and brought our stuff in to be cleaned.  After breakfast we went to the beach to pray morning prayer.  It was really nice to do I must say, sitting on the blanket with our prayer books looking out at the ocean.  🙂

Following, I wanted to change into uniform before going into town for mass at 11am.  On the way back downstairs to sit outside and games, I had another moment with the girl from the group here.  She commented about how she liked my necklace (my medal).  I told here it was the medal to show I was studying to be a sister.  She said cool and smiled, and we parted our ways.  🙂

Once out on the porch, Jen and I hung out playing more games of “idiot.”  It is not a bad card game, but rather quite fun.  I have heard people call versions of it “palace.”  Anyways, that is what we did, sit and play cards until we left.  Mass was pretty good, we were the youngest as would be normal for people like us. 

After mass we thought we would go for our second visit to the Fudge Kitchen.  It was a good idea.  The lady that served us yesterday was like, “were you here yesterday, I remember you.”  We bought more candies!  From there, we went to eat at one of my favorite places.

Dry dock definitely has some good fries and the burgers are yummy.  Jen and I split a pop (aka soda) as we used to do.  It was good, besides, neither of us needed a whole one on this warm day.

When we got back, we once again went to playing cards. This time we played garbage and idiot and spit (again, not as bad as it sounds).  It was a good long time we sat there in the parlor doing so.  We decided we wanted to go visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel.  As we were heading up, it was just before 3pm.  I had forgotten that we did an Easter stations when I was here.  It is something they do every year.  Therefore, we joined those who were doing it.  It was really nice.  After, we did our own little prayer.

At one point in the reflection, there were questions that led me to reflect on the words “Peace I leave you, my peace I give to you.”  I was thinking about how my time as an intern at Mary’s House really prepared me for my entering as a Salesian aspirant.  It was such a blessing, still is a blessing. 

After praying, we joined Brother Tom for a little music practice.  It was good.  I hope and pray that Jen really doesn’t mind playing with us.  He has a faster strum, so it was a little harder to follow him, but it will be a lot of fun!

After that, I changed and we headed out.  Of course, with more people around, it took a little to get ourselves out of the house.  Fooch’s family came, so they wanted to say hi and such.  Finally, we got ourselves to go for another walk.

On this beautiful walk to Sunset Beach and back, there were many things that we did/encountered.  We saw birds and crabs and drank smoothies for dinner.  There were definitely some beautiful opportunities for pictures of the ocean, not that I don’t have enough already.  On the way back I encountered a big rock…like the ones I love to climb on.  The rock won.  I used a receipt as a make-shift band-aid till it stopped bleeding, then I got one that is more appropriate.  Yes, I feel like sharing that with you.  It was a wonderful journey.

When we got back, we went up to our room, and then decided to update our blogs and stuff.  So, here I am now.  Oh yeah, and throughout the whole day we have been eating chocolate.  It is a wonderful thing, I must tell you.  Now, I leave you again until tomorrow evening!  Peace!

Oh yeah, do not forget to do this thing.  I do it every time I am at mass and sometimes at other times.  Ask Jesus to transform you.  It does not mean to change who you are, who God created you to be.  It means something beyond that.  Think about it.

 
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Posted by on May 27, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Photos, Travels

 

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Deep Feeling in my Heart

As I sit here trying to figure out what is most in my heart at this moment, I am filled with an abundance of things of all extremes and am not sure where to begin.  In general, these past some months since entering into formation with the Salesians on August 24th have been filled with ups and downs of all sorts.  There have been so many tears cried as well as innumerable joys to follow.  Of course there have been some frustrations and hurts, just because one is aiming to be a sister does not mean that will disappear.  Just the same, since I feel God is calling me here, there are a great many joys to be celebrated as well.  That being said, I am overwhelmed with a great many things in my heart. 

I love the people of this house, but we are very different and it has been a learning experience in trying to live with them all.  People come and go from our lives as well.  This being spiritually, physically, mentally, any form.  This has happen to me throughout the year, in all these forms.  I am a person accustomed to change, so the adjustments were made in my life, and are still being made this day.  With these things though, I feel there are some things I could never explain to people about how I am and who I am.

I am not sure where I am going with this post but to reflect once again on how deeply I feel things and the gift that it is from God if used correctly.  Not many understand it, so for me it is hard when I need to talk.  I try to let all of my creative juices here.  I think I shall leave things at this, with the anticipation of the reflections that I have in my head to be posted soon.

Peace to you all, thanks for listening.

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Your Little Lamb’s Tears

For what reason do these hot tears fall

I took my broken soul, answered the call

In this place there is found so much peace

Yet frustrating troubles do not yield or cease

In this all that my being truly weeps for

Or is it so much deeper, so much more

Explain all this in me, yes, I have tried

No one knows  fully all the reasons I cried

Surprised in me is something so great

But Satan tries to block it with such hate

Not able to fulfill all God wants me to be

I am left to discover even more, patiently

Misunderstood and disregarded, I then cry

For me and all else who struggle, but why

You see, a gift to be is given my heart

At times a curse if I cannot sometimes part

Here is how it goes, if you can get it

Within other people’s ups and downs I sit

Absorbing all that happens all around

There is really many things to be found

A lack of awareness and consideration

Leaves me hurt with unneeded frustration

How can I not move on from my nightmare

And see the other hurts lingering there

I am stuck in feeling it all, everything

Thus making it hard for me to sing

Let my hot tears fall, take what came

Pain and sorrow that leaves not the same

Help me to learn from this precious gift

So that my faith in you does not shift

I answered the call with all that I am

Keep me in your peace, your little lamb

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2011 in Creative Corner

 

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