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Tag Archives: friendship

Riddle of Prayer Asking

There are moments in life where one really does not want to ask for the prayers of another not matter what, but those happen to be the moments when one needs them the most.  Even when one asks, one can still feel very alone and very gone.  Then one has to think, one would feel that way if one did not ask for prayers instead.  In the end, it can’t hurt for one to ask another for prayers, even if one technically did not ask but merely implied.

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2012 in Inner Reflection

 

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Holding On

This song is titled “Hold On” and it is by the band Abandon.  Reflection to follow.

How many people do you think we encounter in the day that need someone to tell them to hold on and that they will pray for them?  It could be someone you know who is very close to you or someone you have never met.  Think about it as you go about your day.  It is the simplest things that could turn someone away and into further darkness, or it the simplest things that could guide someone back to the light with hope.  Maybe this is you reaching out for something or someone to hold on to.  I’ll pray for you, and I am sure someone else will too without you even knowing it.  Just hold on, and you can make it through or help someone to make it through.

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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Moving Jesus

When the sisters brought over Jesus back to the formation house once they arrived, they brought the wrong one.  Of course, we did not know that until tonight when we went to go do adoration and had to be a little creative in how we stood Him up to be seen.  It was good; my theory is He wanted to be closer to us because we are friends (He ended up sitting closer based on where He should have been to where He ended up).  To fix the problem of which house was to have which Jesus, a companion of mine from the west and I moved Jesus around.

I carried the candle and took the lead.  It was like guiding a friend through the darkness back home to where they belong.  Going out of the formation house, there was various forms of acknowledgement that Jesus was passing by.  When we got in the convent and made it to walking through the living room (chapel on other end of house than the back door we come in from our house), only a couple of the some sisters realized what we were doing.  You could hear one asking and another say that we were switching Jesus.  The other that knew stayed in the chapel during the switch.  On the way back out, now carrying the other Jesus.  As we walked back out the house, moving through the living room, the sisters turned the television down and said “goodnight Jesus!” 

There was something about those little moments that hit me as we were moving and switching Jesus.  The reference was good, but it was more than that.  It felt more relaxed.  I am definitely in agreement that we should show the greatest respect for Jesus, but we can be ourselves, be His friend, as well.

That being said, I led adoration tonight and had the theme of friendship.  I thought, even though it could have been better put together, that it was appropriate for the group at the beginning of this year for our first adoration together.   

Viva Gesu, Viva Maria!

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Carry On

These lyrics were inspired from who knows where while sitting in an adoration chapel.  A lot of times when I write, I find the deeper meaning later down the road.  This is kind of one of those.  Take from it what you wish.

V1: It’s another day like the rest

And I’m trying to give it my best

On my face I’ve put a smile

To bring me the extra mile

 

R: Look at me, what do you see

I’m falling down, going to hit the ground

Look this way, there’s no words to say

This moment this place I need the grace

To carry on

 

V2: Inside it’s another story

Striving for what you want me to be

But the chaos takes over my heart

I don’t know where to start

 

R: Look at me, what do you see

I’m falling down, going to hit the ground

Look this way, there’s no words to say

This moment this place I need the grace

To carry on

 

B: Will you come to my aid

With prayers that never fade

Never to criticize

Please see through my eyes

 

R: Look at me, what do you see

I’m falling down, going to hit the ground

Look this way, there’s no words to say

This moment this place I need the grace

To carry on

Will you help me carry on

Please help me carry on

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2011 in Creative Corner, Inner Reflection

 

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Time With Friends

This past week, I was blessed to be able to hang out with two of my very closest friends.  They perhaps know even more about me than I do!  It is not very often that I am home or able to see them, so I am very thankful. 

On Wednesday Nicole came over to stay the night.  We went to the music store, then bought food for dinner, came home and played some games, she cooked dinner (I helped…), we ate, then we hung out with the girls, ate a wonderful desert (bedtime snack), followed by Harry Potter viewing (part one of Deathly Hallows), and lasting some dominoes.  Of course, it was not all about what we did although it was very simple and easy.  It was about being able to spend time together with her.  We were up to a little about 3 in the morning finishing our dominoes game after the movie, that we had started sometime earlier. 

At about 8 in the morning my phone goes off with some unpleasantly loud sound I set and scared the living daylights out of me.  I had informed my other friend that she was to call me when she was leaving to come visit me.  Jocelyn at current is living two hours south of me, so to be here mid-morning would involve an early start for her.  It was definitely to be said I was not expecting the earlier arrival of her, but none-the-less I got up fifteen minutes before she came and showered while Nicole lay resting on the couch where we slept.  When Jocelyn arrived I was really excited because it had been ten months since we had seen each other.  After greeting joyfully another friend, the three of us sat down to a game of cribbage.  Just like to note that I skunked them both!  Upon completion of the game, I had to bid my farewell to Nicole who had to leave.  Her and I certainly had a wonderful night!

Now the afternoon was left to Jocelyn and I.  Again, the activity of the day was quite simple.  We went to Panera for lunch then returned to the house to play some more cribbage and just be with each other.  Being as she was called into work, she had to leave around 4:30 so that she could make it back in time for when she was wanted in.  It was good to see her especially since it had been so long.

The blessings of close friends is something I never take for granted.  Yes I have been accused of doing so, but it is not true.  When one finds those people in your life who care about you and you care about them in return, it is something you never want to lose.  These two friends that I got the chance to see while home are surely blessings in my life, as are all my other friends that I don’t get to see as often.  I thank God for them coming into my life and pray that they remain safe and close to Him who loves them, especially on this father’s day (despite it being about over)! 

Thank you for the time with my friends!  I know I have said it a million times, but they really helped me reach the point I am now in life! 🙂

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Born Again: Getting Goofy

Wednesday, God sent me some reminders that I needed to hear.  Being home is hard; it is challenging me a lot more than usual.  This time though, I am more well equipped to deal with those inner challenges.  The first of the reminders I spoke about in my last post.

As I had mentioned in the previous post, I was out with my friend Nicole.  As we don’t see each often, we were catching up on life and things important to us.  When I was speaking of how hard this past year of formation was, as well as how I know I have grown, she mentioned something or how she thinks I am in the right place. 

Later that evening when we were both online, we were just chatting.  This is how part of the conversation went.

ME: I am curious, why do you think I am in the right spot? (of course I would ask no surprise)

NICOLE: because you love it, and you can’t deny it, because you get that goofy look in your eyes every time you talk about what you’ve been doing

ME: Seriously?

NICOLE: yeah, like have you ever talked to people and you can just tell they LOVE it? i don’t know exactly how to explain it

If only I could describe how much better that made me feel.  To have someone see that in me that knows me more than anyone else is wonderful. I am blessed with wonderful friends.

As I was sitting there typing, I again put my iPod on shuffle and this is what came up.

Today I found myself
After searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he wasn’t at all who I thought he’d be
I was lost when you found me here
And I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you sang your song over me

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time
In my life

Make a promise to me now
Reassure my heart somehow
That the love that I feel is so much more real than anything
I’ve a feeling in my soul
And I pray that I’m not wrong
That the life I have now, it is only the beginning

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
For the very first time

I wasn’t looking for something that was more
Than what I had yesterday
Then you came to me and you gave to me
Life and a love that I’ve never known
That I’ve never felt before

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
I’m living for the first time
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
I’m living for the first time
In my life

This is what people have seen in me through all the challenges and growth of this year.  What an inspiration song that came on “random” and fits so well to what Nicole was telling me.  It really has given me something to think about.  God has sent me some reminders that I need to hear, and hear again.

 
 

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Not Afraid Anymore

While waiting for Nicole to pick me up so we can hang out for the afternoon, I turned the television station to one that plays contemporary christian music.  One song had just ended and the next one began to play.

I said I belonged to you
But in a secret room
I kept a secret list
I said anything for you
Anything but this
Anything but this
You knew it all along
You knew it very well
You knew the sturdy walls I hid behind were nothing but a prison cell

(chorus)
I am not afraid any more
You have opened all the windows
Opened all the doors
I am not afraid any more
I fell the wind of freedom like I never did before
But I have spent the hours dancing on the floor
I am not afraid any more

 You have always been the same
I ran away from you
I ran away from you
Every time you called my name
I tried to hide the truth
I tried to hide the truth
You knew it all along
You knew it very well
You knew the more I covered up my heart
The more I didn’t know myself

(chorus)

No room for fear
No room
No room
No room for fear
perfect love is living here

(chorus)
(fade out)

 This song immediately as it started to play, sounded familiar.  I look at the screen then laughed a little.  I was told a while back that I needed to listen to this song by Marianne, one of my companions.  Right when the song started playing, I was getting lost in my head with all the fears.  God is very funny!  When I got to the car when my friend showed up, I was smiling and laughing about the song. 🙂

Really though, when I think about it a little more, I realize that I have to let go of some of those fears that I have.  If I do that, then I can be more open to the ways that God is working in my life, whether in the form of Father, Son, or Holy Spirit.  So much of this song at some point in my life has been true.  I really need to take the inspiration of the song in my heart.  God, help me not be afraid!

 
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Posted by on June 9, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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Dear Friend…

When I am lost for what to post or feel that my thoughts are too personal to share, I have decided that going to random shuffle on my iPod would be a good plan.  Sometimes it can be surprising what comes up and how much it may relate to you at the moment.  Of course, there could be no relation.  This is what I discovered today.

Dear Friend, what’s on your mind
You don’t laugh the way you used to
But I’ve noticed how you cry
Dear friend, I feel so helpless
I see you sit in silence
As you face knew pain each day
I feel there’s nothing I can do
I know you don’t feel pretty
Even though you are
But it wasn’t your beauty
That found room in my heart

Dear friend, you are so precious, Dear Friend

Dear friend, I’m here for you
I know that you don’t talk too much
But we can share this day anew
Dear Friend, please don’t feel like you’re alone
There is someone who is praying
Praying for your peace of mind
Hoping joy is what you’ll find
I know you don’t feel weak
Even though you are
But it wasn’t your strength
That found room in my heart

Dear friend, you are so precious, Dear Friend

Even though this song came up at random, it is one that I have listened to before.  I absolutely love it.  This is a song that many people need to hear and that at times in my life I have needed to hear as well.  In the end, the words of this song speak for themselves.  Enjoy and reflect.  Your friends care for you more than you could imagine!

 
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Posted by on June 6, 2011 in Inspirational Music

 

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TidBits of an Update

Once again, it has been longer than the usual length since my last post.  I am not sure I could ever fully explain all the reflection that runs through my head!  Many times I have found myself staring at the blank new post screen knowing there is so much I could share but no words appearing on the screen.  My mind has been wandering everywhere it could possibly go.  So here, I may do some brief little tidbits, leaving the hope for more to come.

Misunderstood and made too complicated.  Two things that pass through my mind, and recently in a particular situation.  A lot of times I feel that others misunderstand the reason behind the way that I may appear, or even assume they know what is going on within.  The one particular situation lies with that of one of my friendships.  It is hard to be in touch and keep updated when the feeling of overly watching eyes are somewhere.  Here is the funny part, in different things said to me, it has been made clear contact with my friend is perfectly fine and nothing to have to be cautious about.  Imagine that?  Too complicated it has become? Yes.  Simple as that.

Sisters and those in formation meeting with Mother Mazzarello must have been like me meeting with Sr. Phyllis.  The inspiration that I got from that meeting, along with the encouraging words, was more than enough to reassure me of just about everything.  I left smiling, of course the small tears in the heart of healing, but I was most assuredly smiling!

I have actually hit another blank.  Somewhere in various books that I am reading, there are quotes and very interesting things that I would love to share.  I just have to find them and then reflect on them.  Thus, I hope tonight with pop out another reflection…but we shall see.

 
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Posted by on May 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Church Hopping

I know that I am traveling a little ways back, but life has finally granted me a moment to catch up with everything I wanted to blog about, at least some of it.  So, here is some of that I wanted to share.  Some of it is taken directly from my journal, some is written now reflecting back.  I do apologize for the longer than normal post, please still read it!

To start off Holy Thursday festivities, the school had a prayer service before the half day dismissal.  As a part of it, there was a dance at the end to “Footprints in the Sand,” by Leona Lewis.  We danced to the first two and a half minutes or so.  It was really good to dance again, and it was not just easy stuff.  I was with two sophomores, one of which choreographed the dance.  Dancing for God was wonderful.  While I was not even close to perfect, I did the best I could.  Here is the song.  Remember, we only went to about two and a half minutes in the dance, but the rest of the song is good too!

That evening we went down the hill to the Provincial House for the Holy Thursday services.  It was odd not being a part of the music in some way or the other.  I blame anyone.  I know there was a better chance of a [former] companion of mine was there.  Let me say though, I say with all that I had with her voice in the back of my head.  I did enjoy being surrounded by the sisters, it was a wonderful family to be with then. 

I have some quotes from the priest who presided over the mass.  They stuck out to me as her was giving the homily.  I wish I would have caught more of it on paper.

We were called not because we were ready, but because we are willing.

We know we are not perfect, but we are willing.

You know what devil, get lost.

After the service, a handful of us climbed into the seven passenger van around eight pm to start the church hopping adventure.  For those of you who don’t know the tradition (and I just learned, so my explanation is a little meh), this is what I am able to explain.  In order to stay awake with Jesus, unlike the disciples who fell asleep and did not keep watch, you travel from church to church visiting Jesus in all the chapels before He is reposed to a special place until the Easter Vigil.  We went to a total of eight stops between leaving at eight and arriving at the last just before midnight.  It was just after midnight when we got back home.  The following in italics is from my journal, written that night.

Stop 1: Oh Jesus, bring me to my knees in adoration of you.  I love you.  Here I wish to pray for Jen and all her intentions.  She is very precious to me.  Be with her.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 2: Oh Jesus, give me humility in adoration of you.  I love you.  This stop is for my parents.  Watch over them, keep them close.  Be with them.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 3: Oh Jesus, give me prudence in adoration of you.  I love you.  I pray for Renate wherever she may be.  Bring her back to you and keep her safe.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 4:  Oh Jesus, give me wisdom in adoration of you.  I love you.  Watch over Matthew, Molly, and Abby.  Help them to never stray from you and to have a stong relationship with you.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 5: Oh Jesus, grant me courage in adoration of you.  I love you.  I pray for my Marianist Family, that they are always faithful to their charism.  Keep them in my heart.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 6: Oh Jesus, bring my to understanding in adoration of you.  I love you.  Shower your love on Priyanka as she grows up.  Show her your love and care that she may follow you.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 7: Oh Jesus, help me to love fully in adoration of you.  I love you.  Protect all my close friends.  Keep them close to you.  Let them know all the good they have done, especially for me.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 8: Oh Jesus, give me patience in adoration of you.  I love you.  I pray for me grandparents.  Let them know how much they are blessings in this world.  Grant them everlasting peace.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

“silently, peacefully, we will rest in you, Lord.”

Home/Bed: Thank you Lord, for the time spent with you.  I pray that these words of mine make it up to you.  All this I do and ask for the sake of my vocation.  It is in you and your Father that I must put all my trust.  What else could there even possibly be?  Jesus allow me to sit at your table so that I continue to learn from you in the way you are with your disciples.  Keep in my heart the experience tonight.  Thank you for everything you have done in my life.

It was amazing to see Jesus in all the different churches in the area.  I am blessed to be here and I cannot wait to share this experience.  Peace.

 

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