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Church Hopping

I know that I am traveling a little ways back, but life has finally granted me a moment to catch up with everything I wanted to blog about, at least some of it.  So, here is some of that I wanted to share.  Some of it is taken directly from my journal, some is written now reflecting back.  I do apologize for the longer than normal post, please still read it!

To start off Holy Thursday festivities, the school had a prayer service before the half day dismissal.  As a part of it, there was a dance at the end to “Footprints in the Sand,” by Leona Lewis.  We danced to the first two and a half minutes or so.  It was really good to dance again, and it was not just easy stuff.  I was with two sophomores, one of which choreographed the dance.  Dancing for God was wonderful.  While I was not even close to perfect, I did the best I could.  Here is the song.  Remember, we only went to about two and a half minutes in the dance, but the rest of the song is good too!

That evening we went down the hill to the Provincial House for the Holy Thursday services.  It was odd not being a part of the music in some way or the other.  I blame anyone.  I know there was a better chance of a [former] companion of mine was there.  Let me say though, I say with all that I had with her voice in the back of my head.  I did enjoy being surrounded by the sisters, it was a wonderful family to be with then. 

I have some quotes from the priest who presided over the mass.  They stuck out to me as her was giving the homily.  I wish I would have caught more of it on paper.

We were called not because we were ready, but because we are willing.

We know we are not perfect, but we are willing.

You know what devil, get lost.

After the service, a handful of us climbed into the seven passenger van around eight pm to start the church hopping adventure.  For those of you who don’t know the tradition (and I just learned, so my explanation is a little meh), this is what I am able to explain.  In order to stay awake with Jesus, unlike the disciples who fell asleep and did not keep watch, you travel from church to church visiting Jesus in all the chapels before He is reposed to a special place until the Easter Vigil.  We went to a total of eight stops between leaving at eight and arriving at the last just before midnight.  It was just after midnight when we got back home.  The following in italics is from my journal, written that night.

Stop 1: Oh Jesus, bring me to my knees in adoration of you.  I love you.  Here I wish to pray for Jen and all her intentions.  She is very precious to me.  Be with her.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 2: Oh Jesus, give me humility in adoration of you.  I love you.  This stop is for my parents.  Watch over them, keep them close.  Be with them.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 3: Oh Jesus, give me prudence in adoration of you.  I love you.  I pray for Renate wherever she may be.  Bring her back to you and keep her safe.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 4:  Oh Jesus, give me wisdom in adoration of you.  I love you.  Watch over Matthew, Molly, and Abby.  Help them to never stray from you and to have a stong relationship with you.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 5: Oh Jesus, grant me courage in adoration of you.  I love you.  I pray for my Marianist Family, that they are always faithful to their charism.  Keep them in my heart.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 6: Oh Jesus, bring my to understanding in adoration of you.  I love you.  Shower your love on Priyanka as she grows up.  Show her your love and care that she may follow you.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 7: Oh Jesus, help me to love fully in adoration of you.  I love you.  Protect all my close friends.  Keep them close to you.  Let them know all the good they have done, especially for me.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

Stop 8: Oh Jesus, give me patience in adoration of you.  I love you.  I pray for me grandparents.  Let them know how much they are blessings in this world.  Grant them everlasting peace.  Oh Jesus, transform me.

“silently, peacefully, we will rest in you, Lord.”

Home/Bed: Thank you Lord, for the time spent with you.  I pray that these words of mine make it up to you.  All this I do and ask for the sake of my vocation.  It is in you and your Father that I must put all my trust.  What else could there even possibly be?  Jesus allow me to sit at your table so that I continue to learn from you in the way you are with your disciples.  Keep in my heart the experience tonight.  Thank you for everything you have done in my life.

It was amazing to see Jesus in all the different churches in the area.  I am blessed to be here and I cannot wait to share this experience.  Peace.

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Dancing

As most of you know, I love dancing and wish I had neer given it up for sports, though I would not give up the time I spent in sports.  Well, short version of a story first.  Then the slightly longer one.

I say all the time that I miss dancing and wish I had kept up with it. God says here you go. I am like…whoa, only a few days of practicing and this is not the easiest thing when it has been a while. God replies, it is not that bad really, you can do it. I leave the first practice I was at, where the student caught me up, thinking…oh my goodness, but I did ask for it I guess. Mary, please help me!

Basically, whenever I see people dancing as I once did, I wish I was with them and had continued lessons so that I would be better as time went on.  In my heart I am always dancing.  I hear a song and I want to dance to it, to sing, to be creative.  When I went in to help with the music class after lunch yesterday, the two students were finishing up practicing.  I commented to them about how good it look and that I once danced, so it made me smile to see them and mad me miss it a little.  The one who choreographed the dance and was teaching the other said something about dancing with them.  I was like, I don’t think so really.

Today, Sister came to me and asked if I wanted to do it.  Of course, I had not expected it.  I stuttered an I don’t know.  If you were to know who I am talking about, the “I don’t know” does not work when next Thursday is the prayer service this is a part of.  It ended with the can do it with either one or three dancers and there is only two right now with a maybe for a third.  She suggested that I come and see it at least.  That being said, I ate really fast what I could in two minutes and ran off to the chapel.  The moment I walked in, the student who created the dance said something along the lines of “good, you are going to dance with us!?”  That was it.  I was told there was no third person, so I would do it.  It is a two and a half minute dance, which is more dancing than one thinks.  She showed me the whole dance (minus the few small parts she still has to figure out) during second lunch.  Now…I have minimal time to remember it and practice.  Mary Help of Christians, help this poor soul remember her dancing body and do the best possible.

 
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Posted by on April 14, 2011 in Dance, Random Things

 

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Oh Christ, I Adore You

These lyrics were inspired from a night of adoration and worship.  Please enjoy!

I lay all that I am

At your feet in adoration

Only because of you

I have something to live for

Oh Christ, I adore you

 

Christ, you alone understand

The makings of my entire being

As I gaze upon you tonight

Fill me with all the grace I need

My inner being dances for joy

 

I lay all that I am

At your feet in adoration

Only because of you

I have something to live for

Oh Christ, I adore you

 

Christ, I could never express

All the gratitude I have for you

So with you in your presence

I give myself to your own will

Lead me to share the joy with all

So everything I am becomes yours

 

I lay all that I am

At your feet in adoration

Only because of you

I have something to live for

Oh Christ, I adore you

 
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Posted by on October 23, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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Faithful All Her Days

Have you ever seen her walk down the street

With a bounce in her step

A smile on her face

She’s following order, following orders from God

 

There is a call in her heart

And she can’t resist the urge

To get up and follow Him

Faithful all her days

 

Her past is full of heart and pain

That she fought through

Now she’s standing here

With a faith made strong

 

There is a call in her heart

And she can’t resist the urge

To get up and follow Him

Faithful all her days

 

Have you seen her now, dancing for joy

Her heart full of love

She knows deep inside

That God wants her here to serve

 

There is a call in her heart

And she can’t resist the urge

To get up and follow Him

Faithful all her days

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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A Week from Busyland

It is amazing how one can have such amazing experiences then step out of them and the world smashes them down, or at least tries to.  When the heart lies in many places, that too takes a toll on the process of discernment in life.  These are the happenings of the past week or so.

Saturday was the wedding of a two people I know, one I studied with and the other a good friend of mine.  It was very good to see friends from college but more than that, to see how beautiful Alison looked and how happy the couple is was an experience in itself.  They are both very happy and faith-filled and amazing!  When the reception came along there was definitely good food and awesome dancing moments.  Though I was not able to stay the whole time, I had a blast.

Sunday morning I woke up and started the four hour drive up north to meet the rest of my family (all of dad’s side) at a house on the lake that belongs to a friend of dads.  The drive was not bad, getting there was good, but I showed up fearful of how people were going to get along and who was going to get on my nerves.  It was great to see my favorite cousin and first girl cousin of mine.  Yes, we may be ten years apart, but who cares because we get along.  Overall I think the weekend went well, I stayed away from those who drove me nuts, and with my extended family that I like to hang with.

Tuesday provided a trip to the mall with my aunt, two cousins, and my aunt’s in-laws (consisting of parents and two kids).  That was, well, interesting.  They speak Italian.  My aunt, being American, speaks fluent English.  My cousins are pretty proficient since they visit nearly every summer since birth.  In any case, we walked every floor and were there nearly 6 hours!  I did leave with something, a Matthew West CD for about 5 dollars.  It was long, interesting, but good.

Wednesday I headed up to the cabin.  It was typical cabin time with skiing, tubing, jet ski, jumping off pontoon, swimming, cards, fishing, eating, drinking, licorice, and such things.  I was just going to go for the day and then come home, as I thought everyone was leaving in the evening, but that changed.  It turns out all were staying, so last night I just stayed as well.  Since grandpa wanders at night, he slept on the couch and I stayed with grandma.  All other spots were taken.  In the morning, people got up, did what they need for the day, and headed to Valleyfair.  I did not go, neither did Palo (spelled wrong I am sure) or my grandparents.  I just stayed to clean up and left to go home.

So today when I got back I just sat a little, washed up, picked up a shirt from church, got a hair cut, did a special project of mine, had dinner and cake at my other grandparents for the August birthdays, and now I am here writing this wondering what to think about my life.

There have been many different moments in the past week.  I have to ones where I want to strangle people because they are getting on my nerves and just being plain old stupid.  I have ones where I know I am supposed to be entering in approx 12 days and I get excited for it all to start.  I have ones where I miss people so much it makes me cry because of the special connection that can exist between two people that is not explainable.  I have ones where I am just not sure I am doing the right things in life.  I have ones where I never want to live at home again.  I have ones where I am places that I never want to leave out of my life ever.  There are so many moments that I have.  One moment I can be so sure and the next there is no surety at all.  It is an interesting battle to be fighting.

What would I say to someone if I was reading this?  Pray, and pray hard.  To put it all in God’s hands.  I need to make sure that I tell myself that God really does know what is going on inside of me and the desires of my heart, ones that are pure and good.  Please pray for me!

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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Friends are Angels sent from God

True friends in life never come and go.  They may argue, they may fight, but they are there.  I would never trade those true friends of mine for anything!   In the past couple of days I got to hang out with a couple of cool people.  Seeing my friends and relaxing was the best thing for me, esspecially when home.

Sunday night, I was laying in bed just finishing up on my computer when at 11pm my phone rang.  Shocked that someone called me, let alone at 11pm, I answer it.  It was Fr. Tom!  I was definitely excited to hear from him and get an opportunity to see him.  Monday morning, I got to his sister’s place around nine.  We had mass in the living room and then just sat around the table talking and eating some breakfast.  It was so good.  It also made me think a lot.  The faith in the family, just by sight, was amazing.  There were six kids in the family and all were wonderful.  I was kind of in awe of them.  Of course, I did only see them for a morning!  Regardless, it was good to go there and see Fr. Tom with his family.  I loved my morning.

Last night, Tuesday night, I got to see Nicole for the first time in a year!  Let me tell you, I was really excited to go over to her house and hang out!  We watching “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” because she had not seen it and ballroom dancing is amazing, so this is a good dancing movie.  While doing that we played Sequence.  I mean come on, who can not love that game, it is great!  After, we just hung out and talked.  It was so good to just catch up with each other and hear how life is going.  Nicole asked me a lot of about next year going into formation.  I was glad she asked about it because I really wanted to share.  Of course I was smiling while talking about it!  While we continued to talk about it, we made dinner.  I should say, Nicole did dinner but keep it on the record, I offered to help!  It was a good dinner; we had teriyaki chicken and rice in tortillas.  We of course, wanted to bake something, so we then looked through some cookie recipes.  The idea popped in my head to make Nutella cookies.  After finding a good recipe, we headed to the store to pick up some Nutella.  With some added m&ms, the cookies were great!  With the cookies done and the time getting late, we popped in one more movie, a funny one to end the night, “RV.”  Before we ended the night we resolved to meet up one more time before we both head out.  It was simply amazing to hang out!

Friends, true friends, are the most amazing!  Never let them go.  The past two days were wonderful and I want them again!  Peace everyone.  Remember, smile always because it is contagious!

 
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Posted by on July 28, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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Creative Writings Sparked by Salesian Possibilities in my Life!

I have decided repost some of my poems that show the passion and love that I had in me when I first learned of the Salesians.  The way I felt, the way I acted, the things that I wrote…all show so much as to what this is in my life.  It is good to revisit these works of art as a refreshment to my heart and soul what God has given me.  For each poem or lyric, I will give you the explanation of it before showing you it.  Also, there is a link to the original blog post for each one, so feel free to check it out and comment there.  There are more in-depth explanations in the original posts.  Remember, these are all my own personal works of art and I cherish them very much.

This is the first of two writings that came from my hands a night or two (do not recall exactly) after my visit with the Salesian Sisters/FMA over Thanksgiving.  It is a psalm entitled “You Call For Me.” (see post here)

You Call For Me

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Lord, whatever You want.
However You want.
Whenever You want.
Wherever You want.
However much You want.

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

My heart is racing
My soul leaps for joy
Your love is in me
In Your arms I belong

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

To be Your hands and feet
A beacon of light for the world
To walk hand in hand with You
Filled with such passion and love

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Never has a joy like this entered me
Like a streaming rush of water
A chance to fill an empty hole
To be Your servant, Your bride

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Lord, whatever You want.
However You want.
Whenever You want.
Wherever You want.
However much You want.

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You. 

This is the second of two writings that came from my hands a night or two (do not recall exactly) after my visit with the Salesian Sisters/FMA over Thanksgiving.  It is a poem entitled “I Am Ready For You.” (see post here)

I Am Ready For You

Jeremiah 29:13 “When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.”

Oh Lord I did not see
I was not searching as I should
Searching You with all my heart
Now I see that You were there
And in lack of giving all my heart
Blind I did stay, lost in the world
Here, though, a change occurred
I give You all my heart now
Take it and do with it as You please
I earnestly search for You
Actively waiting for Your call in my life
Take me where You will, protect me
You say You are waiting for me
I say I am ready for You, here I am

Here you will find a poem that was rattled out of me during my second visit to the sisters.  I now leave you to read a poem entitled “Vocation.” (see post here)

Vocation

It is not very quiet in her heart so full
There is this tug, this bit of a pull
Something calling to do a little more
Drawing her to see what is in store
Fear trembles from deep within
She has no idea where to begin
There was a visit to come and see
Leaving her now on bended knee
With all of this she is left to wander
Her friends give her much to ponder
In all the moments of her past
Maybe this is what will forever last

This poem I wrote a couple of days before I started my blog.   It was what gave the final push to have me start blogging.  Here is a poem entitled “Prayer: See Inward, See Outward.” (see post here)

Prayer: See Inward, See Outward

There is this deep longing
Something that burns deep within
I want to run out dancing
But where do I really begin
I close my eyes and start to see
This image of complete joy
A woman of God who is free
Her faith she wants to employ
Songs in the heart filled with love
A voice with much to speak
Sharing what came from above
God’s will is what she does seek
My eyes open again with hope
At what could be my mission
With fear I must certainly cope
With God I must share vision
The longing inside I do hold
Burns to be released for you
Dancing and singing so bold
Beginning to live I must do
With God in my beating heart
Showing all those who care
Eyes wide open I am a part
Beauty in faith is my prayer

 The day before I started this blog, this was the final, final push to get me to start.  This song to be is entitled “Lord, I Want To Be With You.” (see post here)

Lord, I Want To Be With You

Today I saw you walking in the street
Today you glanced in my direction
Today my hand was put into yours
Today words of wisdom were spoken

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

How did I not see you there before
Trying to guide me on your path
How could I have been so blind
You finally have reached into me

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

Take my hand and lead me on
Never let me stray from your side
Remind that I’m worth your time
Send me out worshiping and praising

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

With you, oh-oh-oh Lord, with you
Give me the strength and courage
It is only you I long to follow
So leave me here in prayer

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

Lord, I want to be with you
So take me into your will

 So there you have it, the beginning of my creative writings relating to religious life and my life landing in the Salesian spirituality.  There are others I have written in relation to this as well as the many that are yet to come, but these ones are at the beginning, the core of a spark that hit me at NCYC the weekend before thanksgiving. (Reminder: you can read more back story about each piece I wrote by click the link posted for each one!)  I can give thanks to God for all He has done for me especially now as I prepare for entering August 24th!  Isn’t it wonderful, I could become an FMA, a Daughter of Mary Help of Christians!

 

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