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Hope

As time has gone on, I have taken more time with my writings before posting them.  A lot of myself goes into everything I write, at least in terms of poems and reflections and such.  With that being as it is, I have told myself I need to sit with each things I write for a while and pray with it, especially so before I post it for all to see.  That being said, I am now sharing a poem I wrote while meditating before going to the midnight Christmas mass (at 11pm…perhaps the closest I have gotten, but hey, consecration was at midnight).  It is entitled “Hope” and as I said, it is written by yours truly.  I find it more as a prayer than a reflection, or perhaps it is both, and maybe even more.  Thank you for your honest reading and sharing in my journey. 

HOPE

My hope is in you my God

Whose guiding strong hand

Whose living walking presence

Whose flowing steady breath

Leads me where I must go

My hope is in you my God

For you have stayed with me

You have reached me many times

In many ways, all three forms

My God you hold me close

Your embrace is tight, warm

It catches me when I fall

My tears are precious to you

The movement I make is yours

My hope is in you my God

Where else is there to turn

God, you do great things for me

My thanks goes on forever

I must always reach for you

My hope is in you my God

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2012 in Creative Corner, Inner Reflection

 

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Small Current Thoughts

Indeed, it has been a long time since I have posted in comparison to what I have been doing.  My one creative writing a day has stopped happening.  Even so, I am still writing and have another one I will post in the very near future.  Life has been interesting and causing me to look deeper into myself than one would ever want to do.  Some of my writings capture the essence of what is in me, but never to its full effect.  At times I am hesitant to post, for it may only give a small glimpse of me in that moment.  I fear that the reader will misconstrue that little bit of me to be the whole of me.  As many of you who do follow this blog most likely have caught within my writings, there is something that hurts that lives in me.  Do not be alarmed, for with that is something of greatest possession over me.  That is, the love God has for me and the peace He has given me with the path having led to formation for religious life.  No, I don’t know what will happen next.  God could keep me here or He could send me on another path. 

These are just a few of the things I want to share with my readers.  I am forever grateful that people read my blog and can be touched in a unique way here.  Do not be afraid to comment, even if only to put a smiley face.  It is good to know I am connected with people from all over.  Happy blogging, God Bless, and may peace be in your lives.

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Throughout All Time

In the beginning

In the here and now

In the future

Throughout all time

 

Sinners we have been

Sinners we are today

Sinners we will be

We run and hide from this

But we sin, it is true

 

In the beginning

In the here and now

In the future

Throughout all time

 

God’s grace has saved us

God’s grace is saving us

God’s grace will save us

We must believe, have faith

And our sins are wiped clean

 

In the beginning

In the here and now

In the future

Throughout all time

 

We have served God

We now serve God

We will serve God

This in thanksgiving we offer

Our work for your glory

 

In the beginning

In the here and now

In the future

Throughout all time

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2011 in Creative Corner

 

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The Woodcarver

In my spiritual reading, I came across a poem that the author uses.  It was used as an example of what he has done in a “circle of trust.”  It provides a third party from the facilitator and the members, so as to give them something to base conversation and relating too.  This is taken from the book called “A Hidden Wholeness,” by Parker J. Palmer.  The poem comes from the teachings of Chuang Tzu.

The Woodcarver

Khing, the master carver, made a bell stand

Of precious wood.  When it was finished,

All who saw it were astounded.  They said it must be

The work of spirits.

The Prince of Lu said to the master carver:

“What is your secret?”

 

Khing replied: “I am only a workman:

I have no secret.  There is only this:

When I began to think about the work you commanded

I guarded my spirit, did not expend it

On trifles, that were not to the point.

I fasted in order to set

My heart at rest.

 

After three days fasting,

I had forgotten gain and success.

After five days

I had forgotten praise or criticism.

After seven days

I had forgotten my body

With all its limbs.

 

“By this time all thought of your Highness

And of the court had faded away.

All that might distract me from the work

Had vanished.

I was collected in the single thought

Of the bell stand.

 

“Then I went to the forest

To see the trees in their own natural state.

When the right tree appeared before my eyes,

The bell stand also appeared in it, clearly, beyond doubt.

All I had to do was to put forth my hand

And begin.

 

“If I had not met this particular tree

There would have been

No bell stand at all.

 

“What happened?

My own collected thought

Encountered the hidden potential in the wood;

From this live encounter came the work

Which you ascribe to the spirits.”

 

There is something about the devotion that the woodcarver puts into his work.  We need to let go of everything so that the work we do is not influenced by the external commands and is more responsive to the inner teacher.  The inner teacher is guided by the Spirit.  It allows us to live in closer conformity to our very own souls.  I want to take some more time to reflect on it.  Share your thoughts and let us have conversation!

 
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Posted by on January 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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My Retreat Taken Away and a Song Recieved

Today brought the emotion of two very different sorts.  One that leaves me a bit confused, hurt, lost, and frustrated.  The other bringing me such joy.  Here goes the stories.

The best way of me taking a step back (other than going to Jesus) has been taken away from what I am understanding.  I understand the reasons I am being given, but all the same the alternates that were mentioned were just as hazardous as what I do already.  Do I inquire the thoughts of another, or is that overstepping by bounds?  I was told by someone who has a say that I should do what I need in order to be reflective and sane, namely what I am doing.  Now, are there more limits than I thought to this?

A really dear friend of mine has taken a set of poems that I wrote during shared meditation into a song.  It is a conversation between me and the Lord.  As I was listening to it, I started to cry in the best way possible.  She could have not picked something better for timing.  The last line that was added/altered from another was perfect.  God is wonderful the people He puts in our life.  Thank you my friend for the song!

I just got a hug…I needed that.  Thank you to the one who just hugged me (although you may never read this)!

 
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Posted by on November 14, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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He’s all She’s Living For

Yesterday evening, two of us went to pray in the little chapel for a few minutes before going ot spiritual reading and the office.  We had previously said the rosary, so we decided a little small chapel time with us would be good.  As I was sitting there, a poem/song came to my head.  The melody is a little unsure, but the words are powerfully there.  So take them as you wish, a poem or song lyrics, but it is the meaning behind them that really counts.  Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.  Don’t be afraid to comment!

There is a story

Yet to be told

Of one who changed the world

With her hands in a fold

Kneeling admist the pain

Her heart open wide

All love sent forth

In God she did confide

And she sang of that day

When God would take her away

Then she knelt and showed a smile

Knowing that she’d go the mile

That day He knocks on the door

She’ll know what she’s living for

On day in prayer

Her heart sang a song

She must step out of her box

To where she will belong

Moving past her own life

Heart willing to care

Passion shown through

With God she will be there

And she sang of that day

When God would take her away

Then she knelt and showed a smile

Knowing that she’d go the mile

That day He knocks on the door

She’ll know what she’s living for

Now stepping through the doorway

Her life put in His steady hand

She seeks out that love

And someone to understand

He calls her even closer

She’s not sure if she can

He says “My child I’m here for you

Look where we have been”

Now she sings of the day

That God did take her away

She kneels down with a smile

Ready to go the extra mile

She walked through God’s door

He’s all she’s living for

Dear Lord, please guide me through the hard times and the good times.  Help to keep walking through the doors you have opened for me that I may become even closer to you and the will you have for me.  Thank you for the friends you have put in my life to keep me on the path to you.  You are all I am living for.  Amen.

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2010 in Creative Corner, Inner Reflection, Living Salesian

 

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Ponders and Poems

The other day when we were waiting around at the uniform store for our stuff to come out so we could try it on, I swiped someone’s I-something and played with it.  One of my favorite things is to leave random notes on the notes section.  This is what ended up coming out of that little moment.

Here we are eight strong

With the Salesians we belong

Laughter fills the air

Many people who care

This group we will bond

Sister of which we are fond

A life of service to live

To God ourselves do give

So in prayer and joy we go

Our gifts to the world sow

These eight excited we be

Trust don’t overthink you’ll see

As many of you know, poems are a huge way for me to show what is indies of me or portray life in general to others, so now that this time of formation has begun, you shall see more of them!

Like I may have mentioned before, the group has chosen a moto to follow us through formation and our lives.  It has landed at “trust, don’t overthink.”  For me, that is especially interesting since I am a deep thinker and most definitely a deep feeler.  There are a lot of things in my life I am not happy about, but many of them I come to resolve and lay to rest so that I move on.  Only a few remain.  The thing is if I let them get to my head too much without the trust and prayer that thing will be as they should, then I would begin to doubt.  So I just ask prayer in that, as well as prayers for the words to say in the situations I need to say them. 

Oh the sisters.  I absolutely love them here.  The group of the eight of us are amazing.  We are starting to see a little more of who each person is.  A struggle I could see us having is catering to each person’s learning style and way of doing things.  While yes, we have bonded and love being together, there is still much to learn from each person and their lives.  Finding a balance in this community, of us aspirants and with the sisters, is so key to living together in this amazing life.  This morning in our “conference” with Sr. Kim, community is something she emphasized is very important in the Salesian community.  Also that we can lean on each other and trust each other.  She mentioned that through-out our time together, we will start to know each others’ lives, histories, dark sides, good sides, and much more (not exactly in those terms of course).  While my favorite community to be in is my TEC Family, I am really starting to grow fond of this one too.  When in this community I feel happy, like everything is perfect and grand.

Of course, it was mentioned that this time of formation is also a time for ourselves, to really discern and lean about who we are.  Individually, I show a different side of me.  The side that struggles with certain aspects in the life I have.  Something I have to keep reminding myself of is that we have times in our lives that we are vulnerable.  It those moments, it is okay to lean on others for support.  That is the beauty of community!

There of course, is so much more to say.  For now, just know that I am happy here and am enjoying life.  I have amazing people to support me (note to a couple of you: even one who makes me drink water…you know who you are).  Send prayers, send mail.  Contact me by ways you know how to in order to get the address, I don’t want to just post it.  Peace and Love! 

 
 

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