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Pray

“It is more important to pray than to talk about prayer.”

So many times we talk about prayer, but we never take the time to truly pray.  We fill our day with other things and discuss how we should or should not pray, but we don’t even think to stop a moment and actually pray. 

There are so many things happening around us.  How are we going to make any changes talking about what to do.  Can’t do anything?  Pray.  So many graces have been given to us because we take the time to pray.  It makes a difference in someone’s life, and your own.  People are out there and they need our prayers, so do something about it and don’t just discuss the prayer and the way to make a change. 

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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Mary, Be My Mother

Oh Mary, favored one most holy

Please be my mother and guide

For I need someone to talk to

Someone in whom I can confide

Hold me in your loving arms

I need to share all in my heart

It is overflowing with so much

Keep me close, never from you part

I pray for your intercession

Keep me safe under your wing

That I may fulfill my purpose

And with pure happiness, sing

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2011 in Creative Corner

 

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Song In My Heart

In my heart there is a song

Longing to be sung

But who will listen to my words

Stories to be told

 

In my heart there is more

Than the eye can see

But Jesus, my Lord

Knows it all

 

I have seen so many things

From sadness to joy

Yet I have shared it with few

Some things still not said

 

In my heart there is more

Than the eye can see

But Jesus, my Lord

Knows it all

 

 

Life is moving on and on

More songs to be sung

Pray I will not lose myself

In all the chaos

 

In my heart there is more

Than the eye can see

But Jesus, my Lord

Knows it all

 

There is more

Than can be seen

Oh Jesus, this story

You know it all

You know my song, Jesus

Sing my song with me

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2011 in Creative Corner

 

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Walking in Reflection with the Lord

For all my life, I have known that being outside is very good for my heart and soul, not to mention the body (as being outside usually means exercise).  Since I have arrived with the Salesians, that ability to get up and go outside kind of slipped.  During the long days when everything seemed overly busy and the tensions were high, I just kept on going…inside.  Recently I have rediscovered that taking those walks in the middle of the day, even when there is something else I should most likely be doing, is what keeps me focused on the here and now.  Doing that helps me to thimk clearly about where I am in life.

I have now gone on these walks a couple times.  Currently, I have just got back from one only moments ago.  There is a semi-rountine that I have developed (only semi- because it is good to have variation) for doing a walking rosary, or even just going on a walk.  I go out the front, through a little passage area, up a trail, up the road, all the way to the cemetary.  The turning back, I cut acroos the field with some trees, catching back up to the road and seeing a statue area, then back down the road and down the trail.  There are various stops that I like to make here and there.  When I am up at teh cemetary, I like to go in and glance over each Sister’s name, praying for them and also praying that they intercede for me what ever request I may have at that moment.  Today I walked that. 

Following it, I recalled the prayer promise I made for today for TEC to do a Divine Mercy Chaplet at my three’o’clock or their three’o’clock.  It ended up being inbetween.  I did that one walking through the bushes to the island and around that, then around the provinicial circle, then back around the island, then in the leaves and trees outside our community room sitting until I finished.

There was something simply amazing about walking around the property praying, especially in the beautiful cool weather with wonderful colors.  I am able to reflect and be at peace.  In everything going on in community with the sisters and aspirants as well as within me, I need to remember to take the time to be outside and walk.  If I am short on time, make the walk a little shorter, but still take it.  It may be my saving grace!

 
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Posted by on November 14, 2010 in Travels

 

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All Soul’s Day Reflection

With All Soul’s Day here, I am once again drawn to wondering many of the questions I have had in my heart for a very long time.  We were reminded tonight during the good night at dinner to keep in mind those who have passed away, especially our family we were born into and our Salesian family.  For me, I was instantly drawn to one I tend to call Baby Kleist.  I don’t know if anyone else in the family thinks of this family member much, but I know I do all the time.  God called this little soul back to Himself long before the chance of being born (miscarriage if you want to be technical).  There are many times I pray that Baby Kleist is watching over me and keeping me safe in all I do.  I wonder often what life would have been like with this child of God.  What would have been his or her name?  Would there still have been two more little siblings in the mix?  The conclusion I had come to in Baby Kleist going back to God is that there has to be a purpose in that happening.  Like I had mentioned before, I always pray and hope that Baby Kleist is watching me from heaven with my guardian angel.  There is a connection in my heart somewhere, so with that I strive to find peace.

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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The Depths of the Heart

Today is another day.  I walk from place to place looking around at my surroundings and all that fills the space of this place.  How did I land where I am in life?  What is it out there that is calling me deep in my heart and soul?  Life has always just happened kind in a flow with out much need for thought, although I have always given it more thought that anyone ever could.  Going to Saint Mary’s feel upon me in peer conversation of the decision.  Heading to work with the Marianist was a discovering of Google searching.  Desiring to explore the Salesians started with a meeting in a bathroom.  Everything seems to fall into line with I need more rope to walk across the desert on.

As I laid in my bed last night listening to my Christian music, something was pulling at me inside.  It was trying to go past my mind/thoughts, past the struggles I hold at home, past the frustrations that pop up around here.  It was calling me deep inside to something more.  So when I walk that place to place I try to picture life here, always.  Am I not letting the greatness happen by spending much time in pondering on it?  For my heart sang and danced for joy when the muisc played into my head.  Everything of my mind says all of this is not possible, not even faith.  Everything of my heart, soul, and being says this is it, God is there and he is watching out for me.  So what is it that I feel called to that is so much greater than this world and how can I describe it to anyone else in such a way that they could fully understand?  There are people here at the Salesians that I could surely voice this too or one of my two closest friends, no doubt there, but in what capacity?  Would I be underminding what God has in mind for me?

This part of me feel like that of which is greatly planned for me is hindered constantly by surroundings that cause me to doubt and think of myself otherwise.  I know that Satan will work through whatever means he can to get to those who are getting too close to God.  Here is a quote from a book called Unbound: A Practical Guide to Deliverance by Neal Lozano. 

[Satan] often walks through other people – those God intended to represent Him, such as parents and other caregivers.  Those with primary responsibility of presenting the character of God to the next generation are Satan’s targets and prime agents. (34)

How true that is!  Satan works in anyone that could cause you doubt, frustrations, and what have you; that could send you astray from God and what He wants for your life.  So then, it could be possible that even in the best of people, like those that I live with now, Satan can be using them to bring me to doubt the vocation that God wants me in.  Tell me so, isn’t that frustrating to be pushed out fromteh inside of what is so good and holy!?  With this in mind, the fight now becomes staying on my feet admist everything that life throws me, wherever it is from.  Then, how shall I discern what is of God and what is of Satan in what I am to do with my life.  All the same at moments in the day can be my feelings of leaving or staying, both giving me satisfaction but also both putting me in disaray. 

There is this other quote that hit me from the same book.

Lord Jesus, come and get me.  Capture my heart with Your love.  I do not have the strength of Jacob; give me the courage to ask  for the freedom and blessings that are mine in Christ.  Show me who I am and Your plan for my life, my identity and my destiny.  Bless me so that I may be a blessing to others. (29)

The part that sticks out to me in all the turmoil that is within is the first line.  “Lord Jesus, come and get me.”  I need to pray that He will come and capture my heart.  It is about all I can do.  Pray pray pray.  I ask once again, as always, that you will pray for me.  In turn, I will pray for all of you who follow and read my blog.  Peace and prayers.  Trust, don’t overthink.

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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A Week from Busyland

It is amazing how one can have such amazing experiences then step out of them and the world smashes them down, or at least tries to.  When the heart lies in many places, that too takes a toll on the process of discernment in life.  These are the happenings of the past week or so.

Saturday was the wedding of a two people I know, one I studied with and the other a good friend of mine.  It was very good to see friends from college but more than that, to see how beautiful Alison looked and how happy the couple is was an experience in itself.  They are both very happy and faith-filled and amazing!  When the reception came along there was definitely good food and awesome dancing moments.  Though I was not able to stay the whole time, I had a blast.

Sunday morning I woke up and started the four hour drive up north to meet the rest of my family (all of dad’s side) at a house on the lake that belongs to a friend of dads.  The drive was not bad, getting there was good, but I showed up fearful of how people were going to get along and who was going to get on my nerves.  It was great to see my favorite cousin and first girl cousin of mine.  Yes, we may be ten years apart, but who cares because we get along.  Overall I think the weekend went well, I stayed away from those who drove me nuts, and with my extended family that I like to hang with.

Tuesday provided a trip to the mall with my aunt, two cousins, and my aunt’s in-laws (consisting of parents and two kids).  That was, well, interesting.  They speak Italian.  My aunt, being American, speaks fluent English.  My cousins are pretty proficient since they visit nearly every summer since birth.  In any case, we walked every floor and were there nearly 6 hours!  I did leave with something, a Matthew West CD for about 5 dollars.  It was long, interesting, but good.

Wednesday I headed up to the cabin.  It was typical cabin time with skiing, tubing, jet ski, jumping off pontoon, swimming, cards, fishing, eating, drinking, licorice, and such things.  I was just going to go for the day and then come home, as I thought everyone was leaving in the evening, but that changed.  It turns out all were staying, so last night I just stayed as well.  Since grandpa wanders at night, he slept on the couch and I stayed with grandma.  All other spots were taken.  In the morning, people got up, did what they need for the day, and headed to Valleyfair.  I did not go, neither did Palo (spelled wrong I am sure) or my grandparents.  I just stayed to clean up and left to go home.

So today when I got back I just sat a little, washed up, picked up a shirt from church, got a hair cut, did a special project of mine, had dinner and cake at my other grandparents for the August birthdays, and now I am here writing this wondering what to think about my life.

There have been many different moments in the past week.  I have to ones where I want to strangle people because they are getting on my nerves and just being plain old stupid.  I have ones where I know I am supposed to be entering in approx 12 days and I get excited for it all to start.  I have ones where I miss people so much it makes me cry because of the special connection that can exist between two people that is not explainable.  I have ones where I am just not sure I am doing the right things in life.  I have ones where I never want to live at home again.  I have ones where I am places that I never want to leave out of my life ever.  There are so many moments that I have.  One moment I can be so sure and the next there is no surety at all.  It is an interesting battle to be fighting.

What would I say to someone if I was reading this?  Pray, and pray hard.  To put it all in God’s hands.  I need to make sure that I tell myself that God really does know what is going on inside of me and the desires of my heart, ones that are pure and good.  Please pray for me!

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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