Category Archives: Inner Reflection

What Keeps the Lepers Going…and YOU!

The reflection on today’s Gospel is one that I was struck by.  Thus, I have decided that I am going to re-type it up here for all of you to see.  The Gospel passage is from Luke 17:11-19.  First below is the Gospel to refresh your memory.

As Jesus continued his journey to Jerusalem,
he traveled through Samaria and Galilee.
As he was entering a village, ten lepers met him.
They stood at a distance from him and raised their voice, saying,
“Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!”
And when he saw them, he said,
“Go show yourselves to the priests.”
As they were going they were cleansed.
And one of them, realizing he had been healed,
returned, glorifying God in a loud voice;
and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him.
He was a Samaritan.
Jesus said in reply,
“Ten were cleansed, were they not?
Where are the other nine?
Has none but this foreigner returned to give thanks to God?”
Then he said to him, “Stand up and go;
your faith has saved you.”

The reflection is by John Janaro.  He is a professor emeritus of theology and the author of “Never Give Up: My Life and God’s Mercy.”

What Keeps the Lepers Going

This disease is not who I am.  The recognition of this is essential, but the translation of this judgement into a disposition of the heart requires a continual effort.  It requires prayer.  I am not entirely healed, which means I must live my relationship with God in the recognition that he wills the cloud to remain in some measure, as part of his loving plan for my life.

By God’s grace I have found that depression can be transformed into an awareness of my total dependence on God.  I must beg him continually to deepen my awareness of my need for him.  The good news, of course, is that he is here to meet that need, that dependence that really is who I am.  Jesus Christ has untied my whole life to his.  He is here, in every circumstance, in every difficulty.  The cloud says, “I am nothing.”  Humility says, “I am nothing without you.”

I noted above that depression can become a context for growing in love.  But I don’t grow in love simply by figuring this out.  It is possible to affirm, as a kind f external idea, that “God loves me” while at the same time being plunged into the cloud.  I could write a brilliant theological treatise on the love of God for every human person and still be afflicted and crushed with the sense of being worthless.  To grow in love is to grow in the heart.

I can grow because, in fact, Jesus really is here.  He takes the initiative.  He knows the depths of my sorrow, and he enters into me right there, where I think I am most alone.  If I am talking to him (prayer), it is because he is already here. And he knows the language of the heart.  He hears and understands my secret cry before I even know that I have made it.  He answers, and he promises that he is not going to give up on my.  I must never give up on him.

I sense that the cloud is not so big, because – after all – I am rather small.

“You, O God, are good.”  And the nothingness of me is filled with the goodness of God.  that is how it should be…

“Jesus, make me good.  Make me holy.  Make me yours.”

I think the reflections says it all…there is nothing else for me to say.  Only this: that we must prayer for each other on our journeys of faith.


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Find You On My Knees

Find You On My Knees by Kari Jobe

Troubles chasing me again,
Breaking down my best defence,
I’m looking, God, I’m looking for you
Weary just won’t let me rest and fear is filling up my head.
I’m longing, God I’m longing for you

But I will find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees.

So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
What if heartache still remains,
I’ll trust you, my god I’ll trust you.
‘Cause You are faithful and

I will find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees, my knees.

When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong
When the pain is real, when it’s hard to heal
When my faith is shaken and my heart is broken and my joy is stolen, God I know that

You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,

Find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees.

I find that this song is yet another one that really strikes me.  It is a good description of me where I am at, and as well something I wish I had more of.  I wish I could describe beyond that, but even the words I woud find would not suit what is inside of me.  My hope is jsut that I find myself on my knees begging for aide from Heaven above, open to knowing what it is when it comes.

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Posted by on September 29, 2012 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music


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A little while ago, we took a trip to the zoo.  When we were looking at the monkeys, I caught a glance of a quote on the wall.  I was so in awe of it that I had to jot it down, that is, jot in the sense of a modern person in the sense of typing it into my iPod.  Regardless, here is it in all its beauty.

“When one tugs on a single things in nature, he finds it connected to the rest of the world.” John Muir

WOW! Others may not see this as I do, but it makes no difference to me.  There is something beautiful in this line that draws me to dig deeper into its meaning.  Just the idea of a great connectedness makes my shiver.  I see this not only in the complexity of nature that I adore being immersed in so much, but in the faith that drives me through those hard things I  have been through and still am going through now.

Sometimes I just want to throw away and run away from the faith that has kept me all together.  Sometimes what is happening within me seems stronger than any faith could ever handle.  The thing is, all I need is one little something of faith.  Even the tiniest glimmer to hold on to is enough.  It is like the quote says.  All I need to do is tug on even the smallest bit of faith and it will connect me to so much love and hope and faith that will keep me moving.  If only it was as easy as it sounds.  The best thing is, all need is that little bit, the rest will come…even if it takes what seems like forever to get there.

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Posted by on September 12, 2012 in Inner Reflection


God is Wiser, God is Stronger

Yesterday I posted a song that appeared in my Facebook ads and really struck me.  It was not too long after that roaming around on Facebook through statuses and photos that I found something else that struck me just as much as that video.  What made it more interesting is who I found it from, but that I shall keep to my own.  Let’s just say it made me smile.  Anyways, I came across this and just all of a sudden stopped.  I could not stop reading it over and over.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”  1 Corinthians 1:25

Something just really strikes me, hits me inside, about that phrase.  We can be as wise as ever and are strong as ever, but even then does God’s foolishness and weakness amount to more than our wisdom and strength.  It sure puts a spin on things, doesn’t it?  It doesn’t matter how on top of our game we are and how well off we are, God still is above us in His lowest point (not that God has many of those I would imagine).

So why does this strike me?  I can think I have things handled and sometimes even feel like I know what is best.  At times, I am doing really well and maybe I lose track of who is keeping me there.  This is a reminder of how important God should be in my life.  Sure, it reminds me of even more than that, but simply put…I can never outdo God or live without Him.  Why then, do I constantly try to do things without Him or think that doing what He would want me to do is not the best option?  Why do I try to run the show?  I have been learning the hard way that it only causes more pain and trouble than I may already have in my life.  Sometimes that is not enough to push me either, so then you bring in the friends who reinforce the point.

This bible passage is something I need to keep meditating on to put me back in check with what my life should really be about.  How about you?

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Posted by on September 7, 2012 in Inner Reflection


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A Place In My Heart

As one may notice, I don;t blog as often as I used to.  Perhaps I am not as inspired, or the enthusiasm for finding something to write about is missing.  It is not that I have nothing to write about, for I have a world of things I could share.  So it can still be wondered why not write more?  Most of what floods my mind, my heart, my soul, and my entire being is too personal to share with the open world.  One day perhaps.  That being said, I do have a little something for you to munch on.

I have been wishing that a song would cross my path that would give cause for some reflection, and something to share here.  The problem is, I really have only been listening to music in the car nice and loud to drown out the rest of the world inside of me.  At home, I get un-excited to listen to my iPod.  Maybe it could be the fact that there are songs there that can snap me back to reality and all the good things there for me if I put my trust in the right place.  Regardless, I was looking at the annoying ads on the right hand column of the Facebook screen and say a YouTube video and clicked on it.  This is the song that started to play.

Wow, right?  It is called “A Place in my Heart” and it is by Irvin Evans.  To me, a not-so well-known name in the Christian music world, yet appears on my ads at one of the many times that I need it the most when usually nothing comes up anywhere (that I have seen because you know, God has a million blessings everywhere and we miss them).  Strange, don’t you think?

At first, it was purely the music itself, aside from all the words, that drew me in.  This would play as a beautiful instrumental music.  Then, as I listened to the words, it feels like the hidden prayer in my heart.  As I have learned, and still see to be learning, I can’t just pray for things and hope they happen and that I will instantly heal.  I need to give something and make room in my heart for what I am being given.  This song has brought me to shed tears that I avoid letting go on a normal basis.

I want to pray this type of prayer fervently, but God, I need Your help to even talk to you.  Even to talk to Mary, Mother of all, I find myself struggling.  Let this song you have given me sink it and open my heart more and more.  I can’t do this alone.  Please fill all the places of my heart.  Amen.


Posted by on September 6, 2012 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music


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All I Want to Do

Upon leaving the formation program with the sisters, most of my life had this feeling of falling apart.  Deep down I still have that draw to only live my life for God.  I was given a list of things I need to do while away from the sisters, for I am able to return one day when I reach a certain goals put out for me.  When having to live my life doing things my heart is not in, it becomes difficult to stay standing and do what I must do.  In the end of the day I just need to remember and hold close to the fact that all I want to do is live my life for God.  What will I do to make sure that it keeps happening, that I don’t forget what is most important and that I hold on to what God wants of me?


Posted by on August 27, 2012 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music


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Yesterday evening I went to an evening retreat to kick off the Year of Faith with Regnum Christi.  I was invited by someone who saw me going to mass everyday and happened to walk out of mass at the same time as me.  There was a speaker, Lucy Honner, who I found very interesting as she spoke about faith and what the Holy Father says about it.  I even got some notes from it!  She took the word ‘faith’ and broke it to five different sections on what faith must be.  I will share with you what I came back with.  The notes were chicken scratch…perhaps they will make sense to you!

F – Firm Foundation

Faith the rock of my life.

Faith my guiding principle.

Don’t just know and believe in Jesus, believe in His message.

Read Hebrews 11.

Actions of faith must be done with more intent.

Be and sustain.

Faith must become firmer and stronger.

A – Alive and Active

Faith is not passive and for ourselves only.

Gift from God, share and proclaim.

Faith evolves and grows, we must maintain it.

Keep the faith real.

Must leave an impression to others of my witness of faith.

I – Informed

Need exact knowledge of the faith.

Don’t be satisfied with limited information.

Pay attention to the content of our faith.

Remain up to date with realities of faith.

It is hard work, it costs, but opens outr minds.

receive and integrate.

T – Tested and Trialed

Faith is a gift to us, but we will be tested.

Can’t just make faith happen with good intent and good deeds.

Acceptance of ordinary things.

Embracing persecutions.

Read James 1.

Letting go, open to grace.

H – Heroic

Must be a hero of the faith.

World needs witnesses.

Be unafraid to stand up and stand out.

Risk and sacrifice own life knowing God’s presence and that He has a plan.

Faith is assurance of things hoped for.

Often times can be uncomfortable.

Be heroic in the way we pray.

Be heroic in ordinary ways.

Be heroic in relationships with others.

Be heroic in humility.

Be heroic in forgiveness.

Be heroic in the way we are called to serve.

Our creed is a summons and a charge to us.  It is like a national anthem

I hope you can find something that strikes your being in these notes.  I know they are not the best, but it is more than I usually get.  For reading on the Year of Faith, check out the Pope’s Apostolic Letter on the Year of Faith.  It will be good reading I am sure!

So, is your faith as strong and informed as it could be?  What will you do in this year of faith to strengthen yourself in our Lord?

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Posted by on August 24, 2012 in Inner Reflection, Retreat Experience


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A Day for Mary

Many times yesterday, reminders of todays feast of the Solemnity of The Assumption of Mary came across my way.  I guess when I got up this morning in a rush to change and get out the door to mas on time, I forgot.  Best part was showing in only capris, a t-shirt from a Casting Crowns concert, and old shoes.  This while everyone else looks at least a bit more decent than I did in my unshowered just woke up looking self.  At first, I felt very ackward looking as I did although I have been coming to mass like that on a normal weekday.  Some people looked at me like I was way out of place, even though I come more often than most.  That does not tell a person how much faith they have, I know.  After going to receive communion, I did not pay attention to the fact I was not looking the best.

I am one who likes to be dressed up and look my best for Jesus, most especially on bigger feast days and definitely on days celebrating Mary.  Perhaps this is because of the past two years of my life and how my faith has grown.  In the end, today is a ay all about Mary and I feel very blessed to be able to go to mass today.  I could have sworn that when we sang, I heard other voices more beautiful than I have heard in a long time.  This seemed to be more when just the cantor was singing, the random people who knew what was being sung, and no one else.  It sounded like a full choir in my heart.  It was very beautiful.

Upon leaving mass, I had a brilliant thought.  Donuts!  I went to the grocery store and brough home donuts for us to eat, even though I was the only one who really celebrated the day.  My sisters greatly delighted in the fact they got donuts.   I guess that is good enough for me.

Mary, please be with me.  I need to you more than I have ever needed you before.


Posted by on August 15, 2012 in Inner Reflection


Riddle of Prayer Asking

There are moments in life where one really does not want to ask for the prayers of another not matter what, but those happen to be the moments when one needs them the most.  Even when one asks, one can still feel very alone and very gone.  Then one has to think, one would feel that way if one did not ask for prayers instead.  In the end, it can’t hurt for one to ask another for prayers, even if one technically did not ask but merely implied.

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Posted by on August 14, 2012 in Inner Reflection


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Missing Mass

Living in a convent, one goes to mass and receives Jesus every single day.  It is one of the greatest blessings in the world.  Now that I am out of the convent, I still try to go to mass every single day.  Recently, I must admit, it has not happened a few times.  I know, three times in the last two weeks to miss is not a big deal…nor is only going to mass only 5 times in 3 weeks when in Italy.  This would be, of course, to the common person.  To me, it was kind of odd.  I got used to not going daily while in Italy, but I saw enough churches to satisfy me.

At home though, I missed Sunday and Monday of last weekend, and today (Sunday).  Last weekend, it almost didn’t bother me.  When I went to bed Monday night, I didn;t even set an alarm so that perhaps I would oversleep and miss mass.  God, of course, woke me up in enough time just get dressed and run out the door.  The reading (whatever it was) spoke to me that day.  Today missing again didn’t really phase me, but inside somewhere I felt it.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of my Catholic faith.  It is beautiful and blessed.  I have never understood why I was drawn to Jesus and why I believe in what the Catholic Church claims as true, but I do.  It is what I am pulled toward and think about.

How is something I find so important, so hard to hold onto as a backbone in these difficult times when I need my faith more than I perhaps have ever before?

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Posted by on August 12, 2012 in Inner Reflection

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