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Monthly Archives: June 2010

One of These Days – Hopes and Dreams

This song really just seems to reach out to me.  There are so many hopes and dreams that I have for myself in this world and I hope they all come true.  Some are like those sung about in this song, others of a more unique stature.  Something about this song just fills me with hope and I hope it does for you too.

 
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Posted by on June 21, 2010 in Inspirational Music

 

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Feeling so Deeply this Adventure

It is going to be an adventure

Grand and sure

With God at my side

I can not hide

And it will be beautiful

And fill my soul

This is what I imagine next year will be like.  It is going to be a beautiful experience no matter what may come of my courage to follow the call.

—–

One of the things I have truly come to be able to name in my life is that I am a person that feels so deeply.  This may appear as to be an odd statement, but it is true.  When I feel something I really feel it more amplified than most, or so it appears to be that way.  It seems to explain many things in my life, or at least help to explain.  As I move forward to entering with the Salesians in hopes of living in vowed religious life, this is something I must explore and learn about more.  I find this as a gift I have but if it is not watched it can be just the same something that causes self-destruction.  (I have jokingly determined I will die of spontaneous combustion via feeling too deeply)  Everything around me, the things I imagine, experiences had, music that I hear, the things I touch and feel, everything…It reaches my heart and soul; I feel it all so deeply inside of me.  It is not constant and always, but every the same in me.

Deep feelings fill my entire being

They are strong and powerful

Needing to be watched over

Cared for in the most special way

This gift given to me unique

Fills me with this longing desire

To know the world and its people

To feel its broken heart beating

Is it possible to feel more than I do

Will this gift bring me to far places

I desire to understand it all

All the places God is in the world

These deep feelings that fill me

Strong in my heart and soul

Give me the courage to keep going

Discovering where God wants me

 
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Posted by on June 20, 2010 in Creative Corner, Inner Reflection

 

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We Have To Pray (a spur of the moment poem)

I am sitting at my desk and all of a sudden this poem came out of me.  Please Enjoy!

The days start to get long

My mind is a jumbled song

As summer retreat does come

Soon I go to where I came from

With many memories had

Leaving this place will be sad

But my future ahead is planned

Any expectations are canned

What I wish to come true

Is what I shall come to do

But in time I must wait

Which at times I can hate

Patience I must truly aquire

In my heart is an unique fire

It burns in my heart and soul

Leaves me with joy feeling full

So as long days may be

Or even short you see

With either I must this say

In everything we have to pray

 
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Posted by on June 18, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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Creative Writings Sparked by Salesian Possibilities in my Life!

I have decided repost some of my poems that show the passion and love that I had in me when I first learned of the Salesians.  The way I felt, the way I acted, the things that I wrote…all show so much as to what this is in my life.  It is good to revisit these works of art as a refreshment to my heart and soul what God has given me.  For each poem or lyric, I will give you the explanation of it before showing you it.  Also, there is a link to the original blog post for each one, so feel free to check it out and comment there.  There are more in-depth explanations in the original posts.  Remember, these are all my own personal works of art and I cherish them very much.

This is the first of two writings that came from my hands a night or two (do not recall exactly) after my visit with the Salesian Sisters/FMA over Thanksgiving.  It is a psalm entitled “You Call For Me.” (see post here)

You Call For Me

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Lord, whatever You want.
However You want.
Whenever You want.
Wherever You want.
However much You want.

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

My heart is racing
My soul leaps for joy
Your love is in me
In Your arms I belong

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

To be Your hands and feet
A beacon of light for the world
To walk hand in hand with You
Filled with such passion and love

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Never has a joy like this entered me
Like a streaming rush of water
A chance to fill an empty hole
To be Your servant, Your bride

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Lord, whatever You want.
However You want.
Whenever You want.
Wherever You want.
However much You want.

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You. 

This is the second of two writings that came from my hands a night or two (do not recall exactly) after my visit with the Salesian Sisters/FMA over Thanksgiving.  It is a poem entitled “I Am Ready For You.” (see post here)

I Am Ready For You

Jeremiah 29:13 “When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.”

Oh Lord I did not see
I was not searching as I should
Searching You with all my heart
Now I see that You were there
And in lack of giving all my heart
Blind I did stay, lost in the world
Here, though, a change occurred
I give You all my heart now
Take it and do with it as You please
I earnestly search for You
Actively waiting for Your call in my life
Take me where You will, protect me
You say You are waiting for me
I say I am ready for You, here I am

Here you will find a poem that was rattled out of me during my second visit to the sisters.  I now leave you to read a poem entitled “Vocation.” (see post here)

Vocation

It is not very quiet in her heart so full
There is this tug, this bit of a pull
Something calling to do a little more
Drawing her to see what is in store
Fear trembles from deep within
She has no idea where to begin
There was a visit to come and see
Leaving her now on bended knee
With all of this she is left to wander
Her friends give her much to ponder
In all the moments of her past
Maybe this is what will forever last

This poem I wrote a couple of days before I started my blog.   It was what gave the final push to have me start blogging.  Here is a poem entitled “Prayer: See Inward, See Outward.” (see post here)

Prayer: See Inward, See Outward

There is this deep longing
Something that burns deep within
I want to run out dancing
But where do I really begin
I close my eyes and start to see
This image of complete joy
A woman of God who is free
Her faith she wants to employ
Songs in the heart filled with love
A voice with much to speak
Sharing what came from above
God’s will is what she does seek
My eyes open again with hope
At what could be my mission
With fear I must certainly cope
With God I must share vision
The longing inside I do hold
Burns to be released for you
Dancing and singing so bold
Beginning to live I must do
With God in my beating heart
Showing all those who care
Eyes wide open I am a part
Beauty in faith is my prayer

 The day before I started this blog, this was the final, final push to get me to start.  This song to be is entitled “Lord, I Want To Be With You.” (see post here)

Lord, I Want To Be With You

Today I saw you walking in the street
Today you glanced in my direction
Today my hand was put into yours
Today words of wisdom were spoken

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

How did I not see you there before
Trying to guide me on your path
How could I have been so blind
You finally have reached into me

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

Take my hand and lead me on
Never let me stray from your side
Remind that I’m worth your time
Send me out worshiping and praising

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

With you, oh-oh-oh Lord, with you
Give me the strength and courage
It is only you I long to follow
So leave me here in prayer

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

Lord, I want to be with you
So take me into your will

 So there you have it, the beginning of my creative writings relating to religious life and my life landing in the Salesian spirituality.  There are others I have written in relation to this as well as the many that are yet to come, but these ones are at the beginning, the core of a spark that hit me at NCYC the weekend before thanksgiving. (Reminder: you can read more back story about each piece I wrote by click the link posted for each one!)  I can give thanks to God for all He has done for me especially now as I prepare for entering August 24th!  Isn’t it wonderful, I could become an FMA, a Daughter of Mary Help of Christians!

 

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My Wish: Following Your Dreams

This song is something I want to be posted in honor of my two closest friends and all those I have met going into formation or thinking about going into formation with the Salesian Sisters.  There are not many words to describe how much I give this song to these people.  I hope whomever listens to this song, that you will keep your heart and soul open to what comes to mind.  There is just something about it that I love.  Here it is.

I feel like in some aspects, in my life, that this song has been God’s wish for me.  My worries are numerous and my dreams huge.  Now that I have been working on lessening the worries, I am able to let my dreams really reach out.  This song reminds me of the dreams I should be reaching for, the ones that cannot fall to the side.  We make mistakes in life but we can not let those things get to us.  We get hurt and that cannot stop us.  God’s grace is in each thing.  He takes what we have and feeds us grace in the lessons, opening our hearts and souls to so much more.

Follow the dreams you have mingled with God’s call for you.  God gives us dreams to follow and opens the path for us.  It may not be so obvious, it could be be wavy and narrow, but no matter what it leads us to Him who gave it to us.  Right now I am in the midst of what God is starting for me for the rest of my life.  I have dreamed of traveling, volunteering, reaching out, always have worked with kids and so much more.  Here in my chance to be in formation, I can discover where I believe God is taking me to achieve all the dreams that have been put in me.

Let us wish for each other and we will be amazed at the wishes God has for us and what we will discover in our lives.  Peace!

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2010 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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A Visit to the Convent!

I was very lucky to be able to sneak away and go up the parkway to visit the Salesian Sisters this past weekend.  It was very good to be there again.  There was lots of work as well as lots of fun and the chance to meet one person who is entering with me then some others considering it.  The weekend was definitely packed full.

Friday I left right after work to head out for the weekend.  It was a long day of work then driving from 5:00pm to 7:40pm.  Uneventful as it was, it was so great to pull up to the convent.  I can not even say how great it was to see Sister Colleen again!  With her was Jen, someone else who has been in discernment.  From the start, we hit it off real well!  We certainly could not stop talking and it was amazing.  Sr. Colleen found me some food to eat since I have not eaten.  While finishing dinner, Jen and I were talking so much that Sr. Colleen and Brigette could not get us to help pick a movie to watch!  It was quite funny I must say.  It was finally decided that we would watch “Inkheart”  It was a very good movie, but at times we most definitely found ourselves distracted.  Soon after the movie had ended, another person came, Ericka.  She was a blast too!  Bed was in order, after we stopped chattering.

Saturday came.  Prayers that day were at 6:40.  It was very good to be in a place of prayer with many others with a common interest.  Prayer was followed by breakfast.  Of course, I drank some hot water.  The three of us visiting sat at a yellow round table and caused trouble.  Our morning consisted of setting things up for the next day.  The sisters were getting ready for the family day.  We put out table cloths, plates, cups, napkins, utensils, and flowers.  It was a lot of walking back and forth, but everything looked real nice.  Sister Kim told Sr. Colleen that we could go out and get lunch.  Her, Jen, Ericka, Brigette, Sr. Ramona (I hope I spelled that right!) and I all went out to this grill place down the round.  It was yummy.  I had a bacon cheeseburger (yay bacon!).  Jen and Ericka and I were causing so much trouble again, it was great fun!  After lunch, we were assigned to the pool room.  That was a disgusting place but when the three of us were done, it was amazing!  We celebrated by going and jumping on the trampoline and taking a dip in the pool!  I even got to have a set of keys to use, since we were on our own.  After booking it back to get changed, there were evening prayers, dinner, taboo, and music practice for the next day.  Jen and I both stayed up a bit, but did get to bed.

Sunday we did not have to be up at any particular time, only to be at mass at 11 for the beginning of the family day.  Those helping with music had to be there at 10 to warm up and such.  I was given Sr. Colleen’s phone and keys and waited to let the girls from Illinois into the house when they arrive.  Megan was the head of the crew coming; she came with Rebecca (who was back for a surprise visit) and three other girls coming to check it out.  When they arrived, I booked it back to mass, all I missed was up through the very beginning of the first reading.  After mass I went back and got the girls, and we went down to the lunch.  There was a lot of people there, but it was good.  I was glad to have finally seen Megan face to face.  In the gym there was a blow up jump thing and I helped out with it for 30 minutes, it was kind of fun.  After the whole thing was over, I helped Sr. Ramona with the food and the others helped clean up the lunch room.  When all was said and done, the five of them and I went up to jump on the trampoline and swim in the pool.  We ended up driving there but walking back.  Since prayers were on our own, when we got back we made dinner of french toast and scrambled omelets.  It was good.  We all took a stop at the small chapel to say prayers on our own of what we wanted to do.  Megan and I stayed up until 11pm talking and sharing stories.  I realized as I was sharing mine, I was beaming like crazy!  That was so reassuring to me.  Bed was much needed.  After some struggle to sleep, I finally dozed off.

Monday, another pack filled day only with prayers at 5:40 that time.  Prayers and breakfast as usual.  We did basically this: sorted through camp stuff, moved camp stuff, moved tables and chairs, and inventoried shirts of many colors.  I had a bit of a meltdown before lunch, but when after lunch was over I was still in the small chapel, Megan came and found me.  We talked for a little then she helped me get something to eat.  That girl is a sweetheart, we are going to get along.  In the afternoon I ended up napping for 45 min while the others helped Sister Marisole (I know I am spelling that one wrong) with some things in her classroom.  After that, it was time to jump on the trampoline and then swim for a brief moment in the pool.  Prayers and dinner follow per usual.  Sad part was when I had to leave right after dinner.

As I was driving home I was think of my life.  All the dots of things that have occurred have been starting to get connected by lines in my mind, leading up to the here and now.  This, I shall talk about later.  All I know is that this visit to see the sisters was the perfect thing for me, even if I left bumped and scratched and physically tired.  We worked hard, played hard, laughed hard, prayed hard, and bonded like crazy.

 
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Posted by on June 15, 2010 in Inner Reflection, Living Salesian

 

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Short Poems on a Visit

While I was visiting the Salesian Sister’s this past weekend (just got home 30-40 minutes ago), I created three short poems at various times.  Thus, I am going to share them with you.  Stay tuned until next time to hear about the amazing packed filled weekend that I had!

—–

Oh the woe in the world

Filled with shiny green

Passing by missing beauty

Love of God to you unseen

If but you were free

Love of the Lord surround

The failing world be gone

Only then to love be bound

—–

Yet still there are tears

Even so among the joy

Where do they come from

These emotions of sort

Could it be a deep love

Or else being worn down

How do I turn to the Lord

In what way do I pray

Friends never near me

Distance tears the heart

But in God we find trust

So with the tears I live

I must lay it down now

Living for Jesus my mission

Breath and let things unfold

—–

Love is many things

Hugs from a friend

The sun beaming down

A letter in the mail

Music reaching the soul

Receiving some good news

Tears falling down the face

A breeze blowing by

Laughter that carries far

Healing tough of a hand

Blessings received each day

Yes the list is countless

Just as stars in the sky

Where is your love

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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