I am on a journey. No, I don’t know where I will end up. Yeah, I know where I am now. Do I believe that God is guiding me in all the steps I take in life? Of course I do. Are there hard times and periods of difficulty with questions of possible doubt? Sadly, yes. We are a human people who are are affected by the evil in the world. When thinking about entering formation (God-willing), things have come to mind that I will have to let go of. Of course that is going to be hard! It doesn’t mean I not ready, or that I am not suited for the life. It means that I am human, a deep thinker, and just trying to figure things out. Aren’t we all trying to figure things out?
On of my favorite things to do is to take bible verses and see where they inspire me to go. My range of verses that I know off the top of my head is small, but when I come across one, I like to look at it and see where it takes me. Sometimes I reflect on it literally. Other times it causes me to think a little deeper into myself. I am going to bring up a couple of my favorites that I use often as I love going back and seeing what new places they take me. Translations do vary, sure. When we translate many things in the world, not just bible stuff, various responses do come up. Each leads us to think about our life in a deeper way, or so we hope! I found to be a progression in the verses, with my life, that I thought interesting.
“When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
Seek with all your heart! Let it all go and seek him! This, as I have mention many a post ago, was the verse for my TEC retreat. It is amazing how we think we are putting everything we have into search for the Lord and what he has planned for us. That was the case for me. I thought that I was putting everything of me into searching. This past year, it hit me that I really wasn’t. I feel that after that moment, I have changed to put myself more fully into the search of God and his plan. The search is constant, it never stops! Of course I stray here and there, who can honestly say they never have? My goal here is to never hold back from the Lord and put my all into the search.
“Do not be afraid” Luke 1:30
Did you know that of all the commands to people that Jesus gave, to not be afraid is the most common one by a long shot? I do not have my book off hand, but this is the thing that struck me the most. We are a people afraid, and always have been. We don’t know what is going to happen. We don’t know where God will reach us. We don’t know if we will be ready. We don’t know a lot of things. The thing is, God does. He knows what will happen, where he wants to reach us, and he will make sure we are ready. We may slow the process down if we are not putting all our heart into the whole search! As hard as it may be, especially at first, we must not be afraid. We are taken care of when we trust and let our heart be God’s.
“O Lord, You have seduced me, and I have let myself be seduced. Your word in my heart is like a consuming fire burning deep within my bones.” Jeremiah 20:7
When I first saw this verse, I was excited. It puts into words some of what I feel when I get all excited about religious life. We want the Lord to be in us. We want to take that feeling of the Lord in us and share that with everyone. To really know the Lord is wanting to know him more. We can do that by putting are whole heart into the search, giving it to God. Oh how afraid we are to let loose and let God take us where He wills! When you figure something out and are drawn to it, you know it.
Like I have said, you may not know where you will go after the first move, but taking that first move is so vital. If you go and try something that you think God wants you to do then am not filled with joy, God may change his mind or you need to look a little deeper. There are lessons in every part of life. For me, I am taking the step to enter formation. From there, I hope I found the right path. I could be a Salesian Sister! If it is not right, God will tell me. He may want me to experience it so I know what it is like, but then guide me elsewhere. I just pray that I always search with all my heart, am not afraid, and will let the Lord burn deep in my bones!