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Tag Archives: listening

Silence for a Day!?

Contrary to what some may say, it is possible.  I did catch a couple whispering throughout and there were a couple of moments I found it completely necessary to speak.  That being said, Good Friday was a day were I went though so may different emotions.  As I look back at my journal, it is filled with an abundance of writings…and I don’t exaggerate on the word abundance.  From my journaling, I recall the day.

We did not have to be anywhere until nine in the morning.  It was a wonderful thing indeed!  After prayers and grabbing something to eat, one of the sisters and I headed up the hill to the cemetery.  You see, we are not allowed to go up there alone because of an apparent bear issue (that we have yet to hear about since the mention).  Our animator was kind in letting me go if someone came with.  Yay!

When we met to go up, this sister asked me if I would like to pray the rosary.  We made it through the second decade when we hit the cemetery.  Standing in the cemetery praying the third decade, we both glanced over all the names of the sisters resting in peace there.  It has been a little tradition of mine I started on my first visit there.  This time, I stopped and took a special look at Sr. Rose McShane’s stone on the wall.  This in honor of a special friend of mine who would visit her often.  Finishing the third decade, we turned to head back down to the house. 

The walk up there was wonderful and what I really needed at that moment.  There is complete peace up there and it leaves this beautiful feeling in me.  Walking along with the sister, I felt at home.  Admist that, my mind was all over pondering my vocation.  The walk to the cemetery was awesome.

During the silent retreat part of the day, I wrote in my journal and read.  That was about it with the exception of a nap.  My lunch was a wonderful roll and an apple.  It was very delicious. 

 For awhile now, I have been praying that Jesus would transform me (maybe two months or so) to how He wishes me to be.  When I went down the hill for the Good Friday Service, this was all I could pray as I reflected on my life, most especially since entering.  The service, as was the prior one, was good.  Again, I missed involvement with music.  At my parish as well, the choir I was involved with did the Good Friday mass.  Despite that, it was good to again be surrounded by the sisters.

We had the stations of the cross up the hill in our chapel with our community.  My prayer in that was simply to have Jesus bring me on His journey.  To have Him reach my heart and fill my soul with His love was what I had wanted.

That evening, we had a chance to go to a Tenebrae.  I am not sure I had gone to one before, though I have gone to something similar at Christmas.  One sister and a companion of mine were the only ones to go.  It was a good chance to reflect on the scriptures and through music. At the beginning we were all to take a nail.  When we went up to venerate the cross, we dropped the nail into a basket at the foot of the cross.  It was a powerful symbol to me.  So many things came across my mind in staring at that one nail. 

At the end of the day, I thanked Jesus over and over for all the opportunities I had to be with Him in special ways throughout the day.  Who ever knew a silent retreat could be so loudly fruitful?

 

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Jesus, My Everything

During prayer one time, yesterday if I am not mistaking, the prayer leader picked a song that fit how I was feeling at that moment.  It is called “Jesus, My Everything” by Matt Maher.

With all the struggles that come with being in a place of formation with a group of other women, it is so easy to get distracted form what really brought us here and what really keeps us here in this place.  We all our longing for our purpose and place in being here.  The trouble lies that when we are all looking for the our place, we clash and runinto each other, making our purpose fall away.  We struggle because we don’t know what God could even have planned for us in this world.  In that sturggle then with the losing track of where we are, we fall hard and sometimes end up in temptation of sin, big or small.  The prayer is to let this all pass so that we can be truly a disciple with nothing standing in the way.

For me it is a constant battle, as it always has been.  The type of fighting has just varied as time has gone on.  There has not been one day that I have not found myself frustrated with something.  With that it is hard to remember why I am here.  It is in prayer that I try to bring my self back by laying it all down at Jesus’ feet and praying that I may follow Him more closely each day.  That being said, I now what to share a quote I found on another person’s blog.

“Vocation does not come from wilfulness. It comes from listening. I must listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about—quite apart from what I would like it to be about—or my life will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest my intentions…. Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear”.

Herbert Alphonso, SJ

Listening, something that I have talked about before.  We need to listen to each other, listen deep within our hearts, listen to what God in the Trinity is saying, and just plain old listen to whatever there is to hear that could help up in our journeys and to lessen conflict.  It is amazing what we realize when we listen.  Things talked about in the song could be non-existent with the help of listening. 

In the end, don’t forget to pray.  Let Jesus be your everything and listen with your whole heart and mind to Him.  That is the reason I am where I am today.  Peace.

 
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Posted by on September 22, 2010 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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Unity the Goal

Words are many, words are few

Words can take over you

We must watch what we say or do

For actions can show just as much too

Caring watchfulness is the game

Not putting down anyone’s name

We are not in the race for highest fame

We are all in base respects, the same

We need to be aware, both you and me

To all the things we hear and see

Not skim the surface or what is to be

Pay mind to every word or action is key

One can not begin to even fathom

The feelings that exists in some

When all is not listened to from

The person in which sincerity come

So please be mindful of each person’s soul

The things that fill their life’s bowl

For if we ignore then they feel not so full

We want to have unity, that is the goal

 

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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A Plugged In Society: Awareness of Surroundings

We are just that, a “plugged in” society.  Not even that, it is a cordless world where take our plugged in mentality wherever we roam.  As I watch the kids get off the bus and wander into school, you see a common thing.  Aside from the skirts hiked up and the lack of interest you are standing there greeting them, there are numerous students listening to there Ipods and mp3s, or talking on the phone. 

Now I do understand, in the morning, if you just don’t want to have that conversation with your parents on the way to school, but one could at least wait to step out of the car to plug in.  Move to lunch time.  You are at school with your friends and so our your other friends at other schools.  The phone has become such an attachment that one comes up with what is thought to be creative ways to hide the phone being snuck out of the locker.  This leads me to wonder if one day all communication with lack face to face time and the use of our voices.

On another note of similar yet different topic, the awareness that people today hold is starting to dwindle a bit from what it was.  We have become very good at pointing out that which is not good about a situation and each person and such like things.  Looking at the whole picture and what is the best is something I tend to find rare.  People have their thoughts and opinions and great ideas.  As a whole, many groups struggle to communicate and look at what is really going on around them in others.  Seeing things simply is something we all need to work on.  Listening fully to what people say without a quick fire response is also a lesson to be learned, one that can save much trouble.

So, these are just some thoughts of the morning that I have had.  Thanks for reading, as always!

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2010 in Random Things

 

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Be Strong

She is the one who always has to be be strong

No matter what is going on in any aspect of life

She is expected to constantly be on top of her game

There can be no mistakes and it must be done right

She can not show being unsure in answering

But must be ready to jump on command when called

She has to know just what to do and nothing else

If not that then she must not know anything at all

She is the listening ear that people can come to

Where is her chance to just talk everything away

She is not allowed by herself to be fearful and afraid

 Signs of weakness do not go over well in life

She does not even know who she is many times

Even when it stares her in the face waiting

She is tired of always having to be so strong

In whatever form of what may be presented to her

Tired of having to know what is going on at all times

Tired of being the one sent here and there everywhere

Tired of feeling right in place when things linger

Tired of not knowing where she is at right now

Tired of being so unsure of where the future lies

With all these things she needs to remain strong

But she is tired of being strong so what is she to do

Friends are far away with her left to cope alone

Why must she be strong in the midst of it all

When can she fall to the ground without strength

Where will she be if she keeps on being strong

Who will catch her if the strength fades away

What will come of her who can only be strong

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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Whatever You Like

I would like to share a quote that lead me to think once again what our path in life can entail in order that we follow God’s plan and become closer to Him.

We are at Jesus’ disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that’s all right, everything is all right. We must say, “I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.” And this is our strength, and this is the joy of the Lord. — Mother Teresa

God may call us to things that don’t seem as out there amazing for the world, but don’t dismay because it is important no matter what.  The thing for me is what is considered our strength and the joy of the Lord.   To God I must say, “I belong to You.  You can do whatever You like.”  Typing it here is one thing on here, but to really say it and mean it and take to action what Jesus wants is a whole other challenge.  Do our absolute best to follow Him is what we are to do.

Lord, I pray that You can continue to guide me along the path You wish for me to travel.  Though I do try to stay on what I feel is the right track, it is a struggle that some days I want to have out and go back to other plans.  Guide me in all I do so that I may not stray.  Help me to understand why I must do as You need me to do.  Thank you for the gift of friends that are there for me when I need them the most, in good and in bad.  Amen.

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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Testify to Love!

I am a lover of Christian music as it really livens my spirit up and give God His praise due to Him!  This song is a statement of intent of the way I want to live, testifying to love!

Testifying to love is something I have tried to do my entire life and have longed to do my whole life to come.  Here is another look at the lyrics.

All the colours of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out,
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify!

For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love
I’ll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take, will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys,
From the rivers to the seas,
Every hand that reaches out,
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace,
Every simple act of mercy,
Every step to kingdom come,
All the hope in every heart will
Speak what love has done!

For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love
I’ll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take, will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love

This is what I want to live to do: have love, be love, show love, feel love, share love, and just have the love of Christ, son of God, felt in the Spirit, in my life.  There is a burning desire as I have talked about before, to love and do great things; I want to do more in the world.  I feel so many things!  Today I saw God again, in the sky once more, in its glorious splendor of wonder and awe.  It gave me the hope, as well as the love.  It makes me want to crank up the praise and worship contemporary christian music and just dance beneath the stars without a care in the world and so much love in my whole being.

The biggest challenge for me always was finding the place that that love is supposed to abide through me.  My passion was drawn to being a camp counselor as well as working/making any and every retreat I could get my hands on.  It was there that the love of a family that I have come to adopt was instilled in me.  They have helped me grow and learn, especially the Riverbend TEC community/family.  From there I left to be where I am out east, doing retreat work in every form.  While I feel like I can put my love there, there has still been the challenge to be truly myself and show the love that I feel deep down.  It is in traveling the journey I am on to, God-willing, enter formation for religious life that I hope this love that burns within me will be let loose.  The Salesian sisters have shown me a great love and passion for who they are, what they do, and God whom they live for.  It makes me smile and everyday I think about what this potential future can hold for me and it is hard to live in the moment, as well as fill out the rest of that darn application.

I must love now with all I can and do now what is needed to be done so that I may continue to love with all my heart, through the love poured out on the cross!  For as long as I will live, I will testify to love.  I will be a witness in the silence when words are not enough.  With every breath I take, I will give thanks to God above.  For as long a I will live, I will testify to love!

 

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