Last night I was unable to fall asleep. There was nothing that could be done to get me to fall into a slumber. Yesterday was an interesting day that I will not forget for a long time. That will be a story those certain of you know you will hear from me at some point. God was being the Father He is to me and Jesus the brother/friend He is, let’s leave it at that. Anyways, in the lack of sleep no matter what I tried to do, this is what came of it, typed out on my iPod.
Have you ever felt something so deeply within your entire being? Where words cannot even come close to describing what is running throughout you? So it is with me. So many times my heart feels like it will explode for lack of an outlet. The simplest thing happens, good or bad, and the whole movement within shifts, looking for a form of expression. Alas, you are not understood for what is felt; it is more than anyone else can comprehend. Has that ever occurred in your life? What did you do? It is so often this appears in my life and all I can do is but simply contain it within myself, bottling everything till the moment it flies out in tears, of both joy and sorrow. How can no one feel as I do? Is there anyone out there who thinks it is possible that someone my age may have more wisdom than is usually given credit to? In my heart there is so much to share, but no one to listen or who will take me seriously. Is it the struggles of my life that hold me back? Maybe the wisdom I feel have is not really there. What does it really matter in the end anyways, what other people say or think? As long as I am true to myself, right? I feel deeply so many things all over the scale, from the worst of things to the most marvelous things. Then what is left is what to do with all those feelings in me before they become a chaos and that shoots me backwards to things I have left behind me that try to creep on. How can I express myself in a way that gives me comfort and joy, even with the sorrow too, so that I may be me?