Monthly Archives: February 2011

Your Little Lamb’s Tears

For what reason do these hot tears fall

I took my broken soul, answered the call

In this place there is found so much peace

Yet frustrating troubles do not yield or cease

In this all that my being truly weeps for

Or is it so much deeper, so much more

Explain all this in me, yes, I have tried

No one knows  fully all the reasons I cried

Surprised in me is something so great

But Satan tries to block it with such hate

Not able to fulfill all God wants me to be

I am left to discover even more, patiently

Misunderstood and disregarded, I then cry

For me and all else who struggle, but why

You see, a gift to be is given my heart

At times a curse if I cannot sometimes part

Here is how it goes, if you can get it

Within other people’s ups and downs I sit

Absorbing all that happens all around

There is really many things to be found

A lack of awareness and consideration

Leaves me hurt with unneeded frustration

How can I not move on from my nightmare

And see the other hurts lingering there

I am stuck in feeling it all, everything

Thus making it hard for me to sing

Let my hot tears fall, take what came

Pain and sorrow that leaves not the same

Help me to learn from this precious gift

So that my faith in you does not shift

I answered the call with all that I am

Keep me in your peace, your little lamb

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Posted by on February 27, 2011 in Creative Corner


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My New Prayer Before Bed!

As I was looking for songs by Sarah Hart, I came across this one.  It really struck a good chord with me.  It is called “My Evening Prayer.”  While it may not be evening now while I am thinking of this, it is still very good.  I may have to find it on iTunes so that I can listen to it every evening.  I hope you like it as much as I do.

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Posted by on February 25, 2011 in Inspirational Music


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How You Love Me

This past Thursday, there was XLT with the high school students.  It is adoration starting off with a witness talk, then adoration and music, followed by a social.  During the adoration, I was inspired and wrote the following prayer and poem.

Lord, hold me in your hands.  I give all of myself to you and your will.  Times will be hard, Lord this I know.  Please guide me  to the ultimate expression of love that I can share.  You are my salvation.  I abandon myself to you, help me stay strong.  Amen

Oh Lord, how you love me

A love that is deeper than the sea

You know all of my heart and soul

What fills me to the very full

The pain I caused you know

All the troubles I do sow

Yet you love me all the same

This the reason that you came

For you see something else too

The great things that I yearn to do

In my being you put a burning desire

Wanting to go set the world on fire

You to me this you did give

The passion for which I live

I stare at each broken hand

How am I to work in this land

It is your saving, love-filled grace

That brings me to this place

Where I adore you in prayer

For me, you truly fully care

Take this heart to you I present

Make it pure and unbent

Give it strength enough to suffice

And I will pay whatever the price

For you my everything to be

Oh Lord, how you love me

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Posted by on February 19, 2011 in Creative Corner


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TobyMac’s “Get Back Up”

Upon finding this video, I found so many different things to reflect that I am not even sure what to say.  Here is the song, “Get Back Up,” by TobyMac.  Take from it what you can.

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Posted by on February 10, 2011 in Inspirational Music


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On Divine Providence

*For class, we had to reflect on three bible passages and what is being taught about Divine Providence.  Here is the reflection paper that I wrote.*

Luke 9:10-17; Luke 9:1-6; Matthew 6:25-34 – Divine Providence

How often do we hear of stories like that of where Jesus takes five loaves of bread and two fish to feed over five thousand people?  At first glance of our memories, we would be inclined to say that these types of things never happen in our life.  Maybe if we were in that situation we would be inclined, as the Apostles were, to send the people away to find food.  Otherwise, we might find ourselves giving each person the smallest of crumb each, perhaps even auctioning it off to the highest bidder.  Most people today may not even bother to think that God could provide for them, if only they would trust and pray.  A thought like that, of trusting it to God, is scary and daunting; it is simply against what many would do.  Worrying about what we would do with only so many fish and so much bread is our natural reaction, which makes us not so different from the Apostles who lived with Jesus. 

So what is it then, that Jesus was asking them to do?  He wanted them to trust in Divine Providence, to believe that what was provided for them would be enough.  The part that I find important in my understanding of this story is actually not found in the Gospel of Luke, but rather in another gospel’s telling.  Bread and fish was provided for by a lone boy who was with the crowds listening to what Jesus was telling them.  God knew the people would be hungry, so He instilled in this young boy the kindness and courage to come to one of the Apostles to share with them the little that He had.  Yet even at the generosity shown, the Apostles could still not yet believe that all the people would be fed with enough food to sustain them.  In the end, I can only imagine how surprised the Apostles may have been at seeing the people all well-fed and with leftovers when they were done eating.  All the same, I could also imagine how they may have realized the similar teaching Jesus has done about Divine Providence before then.  Of course, that phrase was not being used at that time.

Going backwards in the time line, we see Him speaking again of trusting that Divine Providence will take care of them (the Apostles).  They were being sent out with nothing to their name to proclaim God’s Kingdom and to drive out the demons, healing the sick.  Again, when today do we see people sent out purposely leaving every behind the clothes on their back at that first glance?  The Apostles were to go out with nothing hoping to be welcomed into people’s homes.  They had to trust they would find those who would accept them in Jesus’ name, which in itself made the journey more difficult.  At the same time, going out in the name of Jesus allowed Divine Providence to work in them.

At another point in time, we hear Jesus more straightforward speaking of that which we are calling Divine Providence.  How often do you find yourselves worrying about this or that thing?  Quite often we can find that the worry overcomes us so much that we do not trust and hold back from something because of that worry that infects us.  Jesus must have seen the worry in the people whom he was preaching to; otherwise He would not have thought it needed to be spoken about.  He teaches the people that if God takes care of clothing the field with grass, He too will take care of all our needs.  “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34). 

So now many think, how is any of this really relatable to me who lives in today’s society where everything is much different?  I tend to disagree with how different today may be.  While the specifics may be much different, the basic things still go on and the basic teaching Jesus did still applies to us today.  Let us first go back to the feeding of the five thousand.  Many people go on very little food to survive.  Not only that, but many times each of us has found ourselves in a moment where we feel that we are lacking a specific means to be healthy or even to do something important to our life.  For me, I have never been without food enough but other things to keep my life moving forward have been in shorter supply.  All that is to be done is to trust.  Where should that trust be place?  In Divine Providence we should place that trust. 

Now what about the relation to that of the Apostles going out to mission work with nothing but the clothes on their backs?  When people go out here to proclaim and teach, they are loaded with all they can carry that they may need wherever they go.  How many do you see with the bare minimum?  The thing is, we only ever think of missionaries who come from places where they can be provided for going into a poorer place.  Many people go with very little, including lack of support spiritually and such, into their own communities talking of the faith they love.  Each day I guarantee you pass someone who appears to have all but really has nothing but the little candle in their heart to keep them going and teaching the message they are called to share.

Finally, we all know we worry about everything.  We are a people who worry about the past, present and future all together.  Jesus wants us to forget the worries of what was or what is to come and live in the now.  We must trust that Divine Providence will take us to where we need to be.  In the first two stories, we see what the third story tells us not to do.  The apostles worry about where to get enough food to feed the people.  The apostles, though not explicitly written in the bible, must have worried about taking nothing with if Jesus was telling them to go as they are with only what they were wearing.  When there is worry, whether it is like that from Jesus’ time or the worry of today’s age, there is a lack of trust in Divine Providence. 

From these stories, I hear Jesus telling me to stop worrying.  In ceasing to worry I will be able to trust more fully in Divine Providence.  It is not that I am not able to trust with the worry, but freeing myself from the worries little by little, I can allow Divine Providence to take over in my life.  It is then that I can let where I feel called to be and what I feel called to do really show through for me to see more clearly and for others to understand where God wants me in this life.

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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Random Questions…Or Are They?

How do you make lemonade?

Is there a rainbow with the rain?

How do you dig the weeds up?

Which shoes should you wear?

Is there something in the brownies?

What color crayon is the best to take?

How do you know which door to open?

Which note is the most tuned?

Does each dance movement make a difference?

Is there more than one way eat an oreo?

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Posted by on February 7, 2011 in Random Things


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Small Current Thoughts

Indeed, it has been a long time since I have posted in comparison to what I have been doing.  My one creative writing a day has stopped happening.  Even so, I am still writing and have another one I will post in the very near future.  Life has been interesting and causing me to look deeper into myself than one would ever want to do.  Some of my writings capture the essence of what is in me, but never to its full effect.  At times I am hesitant to post, for it may only give a small glimpse of me in that moment.  I fear that the reader will misconstrue that little bit of me to be the whole of me.  As many of you who do follow this blog most likely have caught within my writings, there is something that hurts that lives in me.  Do not be alarmed, for with that is something of greatest possession over me.  That is, the love God has for me and the peace He has given me with the path having led to formation for religious life.  No, I don’t know what will happen next.  God could keep me here or He could send me on another path. 

These are just a few of the things I want to share with my readers.  I am forever grateful that people read my blog and can be touched in a unique way here.  Do not be afraid to comment, even if only to put a smiley face.  It is good to know I am connected with people from all over.  Happy blogging, God Bless, and may peace be in your lives.

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Posted by on February 6, 2011 in Inner Reflection


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