Tag Archives: trust

Some Thoughts on Community

Community is the greatest joy and the greatest challenge.

People are healed and saved in the context of community (most of the time).

We don’t have to do everything, the Lord is already there.

Not everyone has the capacity of community.

A community can never become life-giving without solving conflict.

Communication can cause miracles.

To be successful in faith-sharing, there has to be enough faith and trust.

Community is a carefully orchestrated dance.

We cannot have people substituting what belongs to Jesus Christ.

When each person working on growing, the whole community grows.

You can’t say hello until you learn to say goodbye.


Posted by on November 2, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Living Salesian


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Question and Answer

What is going on in me?

How much must I give?

Who do I trust?

Where am I to go?

When will it be easy?

Why me?


You are being formed and transformed.

You must give every single bit of yourself.

Trust those who are given to you to trust, you’ll know.

You go where the Spirit leads you.

Easy does not come, the road is rough yet rewarding.

This is what’s been given to you and you are called.

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Posted by on July 21, 2011 in Inner Reflection


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On Divine Providence

*For class, we had to reflect on three bible passages and what is being taught about Divine Providence.  Here is the reflection paper that I wrote.*

Luke 9:10-17; Luke 9:1-6; Matthew 6:25-34 – Divine Providence

How often do we hear of stories like that of where Jesus takes five loaves of bread and two fish to feed over five thousand people?  At first glance of our memories, we would be inclined to say that these types of things never happen in our life.  Maybe if we were in that situation we would be inclined, as the Apostles were, to send the people away to find food.  Otherwise, we might find ourselves giving each person the smallest of crumb each, perhaps even auctioning it off to the highest bidder.  Most people today may not even bother to think that God could provide for them, if only they would trust and pray.  A thought like that, of trusting it to God, is scary and daunting; it is simply against what many would do.  Worrying about what we would do with only so many fish and so much bread is our natural reaction, which makes us not so different from the Apostles who lived with Jesus. 

So what is it then, that Jesus was asking them to do?  He wanted them to trust in Divine Providence, to believe that what was provided for them would be enough.  The part that I find important in my understanding of this story is actually not found in the Gospel of Luke, but rather in another gospel’s telling.  Bread and fish was provided for by a lone boy who was with the crowds listening to what Jesus was telling them.  God knew the people would be hungry, so He instilled in this young boy the kindness and courage to come to one of the Apostles to share with them the little that He had.  Yet even at the generosity shown, the Apostles could still not yet believe that all the people would be fed with enough food to sustain them.  In the end, I can only imagine how surprised the Apostles may have been at seeing the people all well-fed and with leftovers when they were done eating.  All the same, I could also imagine how they may have realized the similar teaching Jesus has done about Divine Providence before then.  Of course, that phrase was not being used at that time.

Going backwards in the time line, we see Him speaking again of trusting that Divine Providence will take care of them (the Apostles).  They were being sent out with nothing to their name to proclaim God’s Kingdom and to drive out the demons, healing the sick.  Again, when today do we see people sent out purposely leaving every behind the clothes on their back at that first glance?  The Apostles were to go out with nothing hoping to be welcomed into people’s homes.  They had to trust they would find those who would accept them in Jesus’ name, which in itself made the journey more difficult.  At the same time, going out in the name of Jesus allowed Divine Providence to work in them.

At another point in time, we hear Jesus more straightforward speaking of that which we are calling Divine Providence.  How often do you find yourselves worrying about this or that thing?  Quite often we can find that the worry overcomes us so much that we do not trust and hold back from something because of that worry that infects us.  Jesus must have seen the worry in the people whom he was preaching to; otherwise He would not have thought it needed to be spoken about.  He teaches the people that if God takes care of clothing the field with grass, He too will take care of all our needs.  “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34). 

So now many think, how is any of this really relatable to me who lives in today’s society where everything is much different?  I tend to disagree with how different today may be.  While the specifics may be much different, the basic things still go on and the basic teaching Jesus did still applies to us today.  Let us first go back to the feeding of the five thousand.  Many people go on very little food to survive.  Not only that, but many times each of us has found ourselves in a moment where we feel that we are lacking a specific means to be healthy or even to do something important to our life.  For me, I have never been without food enough but other things to keep my life moving forward have been in shorter supply.  All that is to be done is to trust.  Where should that trust be place?  In Divine Providence we should place that trust. 

Now what about the relation to that of the Apostles going out to mission work with nothing but the clothes on their backs?  When people go out here to proclaim and teach, they are loaded with all they can carry that they may need wherever they go.  How many do you see with the bare minimum?  The thing is, we only ever think of missionaries who come from places where they can be provided for going into a poorer place.  Many people go with very little, including lack of support spiritually and such, into their own communities talking of the faith they love.  Each day I guarantee you pass someone who appears to have all but really has nothing but the little candle in their heart to keep them going and teaching the message they are called to share.

Finally, we all know we worry about everything.  We are a people who worry about the past, present and future all together.  Jesus wants us to forget the worries of what was or what is to come and live in the now.  We must trust that Divine Providence will take us to where we need to be.  In the first two stories, we see what the third story tells us not to do.  The apostles worry about where to get enough food to feed the people.  The apostles, though not explicitly written in the bible, must have worried about taking nothing with if Jesus was telling them to go as they are with only what they were wearing.  When there is worry, whether it is like that from Jesus’ time or the worry of today’s age, there is a lack of trust in Divine Providence. 

From these stories, I hear Jesus telling me to stop worrying.  In ceasing to worry I will be able to trust more fully in Divine Providence.  It is not that I am not able to trust with the worry, but freeing myself from the worries little by little, I can allow Divine Providence to take over in my life.  It is then that I can let where I feel called to be and what I feel called to do really show through for me to see more clearly and for others to understand where God wants me in this life.

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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Trust and Turn

Who do I trust

Where do I turn

It is complicated

Somehow simple

The heart full

It says so much

Same sounding

These become

Talking of this

My life on earth

So multilayered

Joy with the FMA

Past struggles

Both coexist now

So then what

Find the right one

Someone nearby

To listen to me

That I can trust

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Posted by on January 21, 2011 in Creative Corner


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Trusting Healer

Healer I have been named;

Not by person but on paper.

Does it ring true in my life?

People tend to trust  me more;

I care deeply for them all.

Do I trust myself though?

The true healer lives all around;

A healer we can fully trust.

Have you talk to Jesus lately?

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Posted by on January 15, 2011 in Creative Corner


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Massive Amounts of Dust Bunnies Congregating for Mass

I have hit the discovery of all discoveries!  It was brought upon by the wisdom of a fellow aspirant.  We are all indeed a massive amount of dust bunnies who are congregating for mass.  We have fluttered all over the world living various lives before coming here with the Salesians.  I am not sure we are massive, but there is no doubt we are somewhere when we are there.  Now, while the dust bunnies being refered to initially were all hiding in a massive clump under a bed, we too are in a sense hiding.  What in the world, though, are we hiding from?  We are hiding from the fact the we indeed, might need to be formed.  We are hiding from the fact that there is indeed, not good things about ourselves.  We are hiding from the fact that we indeed, need to face our lives and what God has given us in them.  In the same sense, we still have congregated together to celebrate Jesus. 

In case you are still confused…here is the story.  I was up in the hallway talking with a fellow aspirant, when another fellow aspirant was trying to fill in the sentence “there is a massive amount of dust bunnies ______ under my bed.”  I proceeding to say “congregating.”  She exclaimed “YES” and continued to get a swifer to go clean her floor.  Before you know it, she is saying that they are having mass under the bed.  Thus…the humor of the day.

I have determined, in all our dust bunny sides of ourselves, that we really need to take better care of each other.  We need to be able to trust each other more, know each others boundries, know when to tell people you need space, and such.  Basically, it is a general we need to be comfortable with each other if we are going to make certain things work.  We don’t have to be great friends.  We just need to have each others trust and each others backs.  This way, we can deal with the dust bunnies and celebrate Jesus together. 

Peace, happy cleaning of your room (outer room, and inner room.  material, and immaterial)!

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Posted by on October 23, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Fear and Trust

In my last post, I forgot one distinctly thought-provoking quote from the book I have been reading that really stuck out to me, so here it is.

Fear is useless; what is needed is trust.

Sound familiar at all?  Well, to all of those in formation together or someone who has heard from me already, it is very similar to the moto us aspirants came up with.  “Trust don’t overthink!”  Back to the quote at hand though.  We are a people who lives in constant fear.  Though it may not be shown outwardly, all live in internally.  What is fear but an entrance into ourselves for Satan?  Living in fear has gotten people no where but in a state of unsurity which can drive them to dark places.  That is not what God wants of us!  Fear takes us far from the ultimate goal in heaven, via Jesus Christ who died for us. 

So if fear is useless to us, then what is to replace that fear we constantly live in?  We need to trust.  With trust we can do so much more.  Trusting in God shows Him that we believe He knows what He is doing.  Trust means we will give ourselves over to God’s will for us in life.  What better place to be than in His loving arms through all of life so that we may join His son, Jesus Christ, in heaven.  Yes, trust is hard to accomplish, but it is so important.  Just trust in God and He will provide.

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Posted by on September 14, 2010 in Inner Reflection


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“Why would you do that?”

Many times they ask us, “Why would you do that, give up your life for this?”  They say give up your life refering to having a family and a well paying job.  People also make the event of entering something of this big deal and way out of the ordinary.  There is an unsaid ackwardness that comes, too, from mentioning you aspire to be a vowed religious.  People like me can be set apart.

Am I really giving up the things of life?  Absolutely not! I do not see this as others tend to see things.  This choice to enter the formation program with the Salesians is just the next step on my journey to Christ.  Sure it is a huge life change, but isn’t marriage the same way?  Nothing feel different about my life and in all reality it should not.  We will continue to learn things about ourselves and others, but our life is not drastically different.  It is the choices we make with the life that we have and how we want to live it.

So why am I here doing this.  It landed in my heart via some odd experiences and turn of events.  It just seemed where I should head even with all the struggles in my life.  I really am not completely sure why I have ended up here but I am trusting as best as I can that this is right.  All we can do is pray and live each day as if it is the last one, knowing that God loves you.


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Posted by on August 31, 2010 in Inner Reflection


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Trust, Don’t Think!

Besides the hour and a half delay getting here, I arrived safely with the Salesians at the house around 10pm on the 24th.  I was surely a bit exhausted but all the same so very excited to get away from everything and be here.  The group of 8 of us are amazing and we already are having the best of times!  Because of the short time I have currently, here are some of the things that have happened.

“Trust, don’t think” is our moto.

We almost all went swimming in the rain.

Sr. Theresa impersonated a bug in water.

Skip-bo was a very fun game to play.

Uniforms were oddly exciting to sort through and then buy what we did not have.

There has already been labor, yay!

Jen braided me hair, I love that. 

Pretty much, that is what I have for now, I will share more details later when I have the time.  Thanks for following me and there were surely be good things to come.  For example, a poem I wrote today. 🙂 Peace!

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Posted by on August 26, 2010 in Living Salesian


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A Week from Busyland

It is amazing how one can have such amazing experiences then step out of them and the world smashes them down, or at least tries to.  When the heart lies in many places, that too takes a toll on the process of discernment in life.  These are the happenings of the past week or so.

Saturday was the wedding of a two people I know, one I studied with and the other a good friend of mine.  It was very good to see friends from college but more than that, to see how beautiful Alison looked and how happy the couple is was an experience in itself.  They are both very happy and faith-filled and amazing!  When the reception came along there was definitely good food and awesome dancing moments.  Though I was not able to stay the whole time, I had a blast.

Sunday morning I woke up and started the four hour drive up north to meet the rest of my family (all of dad’s side) at a house on the lake that belongs to a friend of dads.  The drive was not bad, getting there was good, but I showed up fearful of how people were going to get along and who was going to get on my nerves.  It was great to see my favorite cousin and first girl cousin of mine.  Yes, we may be ten years apart, but who cares because we get along.  Overall I think the weekend went well, I stayed away from those who drove me nuts, and with my extended family that I like to hang with.

Tuesday provided a trip to the mall with my aunt, two cousins, and my aunt’s in-laws (consisting of parents and two kids).  That was, well, interesting.  They speak Italian.  My aunt, being American, speaks fluent English.  My cousins are pretty proficient since they visit nearly every summer since birth.  In any case, we walked every floor and were there nearly 6 hours!  I did leave with something, a Matthew West CD for about 5 dollars.  It was long, interesting, but good.

Wednesday I headed up to the cabin.  It was typical cabin time with skiing, tubing, jet ski, jumping off pontoon, swimming, cards, fishing, eating, drinking, licorice, and such things.  I was just going to go for the day and then come home, as I thought everyone was leaving in the evening, but that changed.  It turns out all were staying, so last night I just stayed as well.  Since grandpa wanders at night, he slept on the couch and I stayed with grandma.  All other spots were taken.  In the morning, people got up, did what they need for the day, and headed to Valleyfair.  I did not go, neither did Palo (spelled wrong I am sure) or my grandparents.  I just stayed to clean up and left to go home.

So today when I got back I just sat a little, washed up, picked up a shirt from church, got a hair cut, did a special project of mine, had dinner and cake at my other grandparents for the August birthdays, and now I am here writing this wondering what to think about my life.

There have been many different moments in the past week.  I have to ones where I want to strangle people because they are getting on my nerves and just being plain old stupid.  I have ones where I know I am supposed to be entering in approx 12 days and I get excited for it all to start.  I have ones where I miss people so much it makes me cry because of the special connection that can exist between two people that is not explainable.  I have ones where I am just not sure I am doing the right things in life.  I have ones where I never want to live at home again.  I have ones where I am places that I never want to leave out of my life ever.  There are so many moments that I have.  One moment I can be so sure and the next there is no surety at all.  It is an interesting battle to be fighting.

What would I say to someone if I was reading this?  Pray, and pray hard.  To put it all in God’s hands.  I need to make sure that I tell myself that God really does know what is going on inside of me and the desires of my heart, ones that are pure and good.  Please pray for me!

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Posted by on August 12, 2010 in Inner Reflection


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