Tag Archives: questions

Why am I Blogging?

I was given cause today to reflect on the point of keeping this blog.  As I have known, but maybe never have had pointed out to me, this is completely opposite of me and who I am.  I am not someone who goes online and publishes posts like that of which are here, especially when people I know read them.  It is not a part of me that fits with the rest. 

In the beginning of the life of this blog, it was suggested to me I start it as a means of sharing my vocation story.  It was January of 2010 and I was in the midst of deciding whether or not to enter formation with the Salesian Sisters (aka formally, Daughters of Mary Help of Christians).  I gave a brief background on the events of my life that brought me to where I was at and shared some poems/lyrics I had written in the excitement of what could possibly come next.  From there, I lose track of where it went.  The post have been a mix of creative writing, reflections, music, wisdom from others, stories, updates on how my life is, things that go on where I am at, and such things of the like.  Now I look at it again wondering what direction I want to move in and what can make it more like me.  Part of me may have run to it as a place to hear what others say, I don’t need that in the end.  Part of me wants to inspire others, I still wish to do that.  There has to be a better balance I must say. 

In the future, there will still be blog posts.  What they contain, I am not yet sure.  I just know that I have been brought to think more about what I am doing here on this website where I can make anything public. 


Posted by on September 27, 2011 in Inner Reflection


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Question and Answer

What is going on in me?

How much must I give?

Who do I trust?

Where am I to go?

When will it be easy?

Why me?


You are being formed and transformed.

You must give every single bit of yourself.

Trust those who are given to you to trust, you’ll know.

You go where the Spirit leads you.

Easy does not come, the road is rough yet rewarding.

This is what’s been given to you and you are called.

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Posted by on July 21, 2011 in Inner Reflection


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Be Strong

She is the one who always has to be be strong

No matter what is going on in any aspect of life

She is expected to constantly be on top of her game

There can be no mistakes and it must be done right

She can not show being unsure in answering

But must be ready to jump on command when called

She has to know just what to do and nothing else

If not that then she must not know anything at all

She is the listening ear that people can come to

Where is her chance to just talk everything away

She is not allowed by herself to be fearful and afraid

 Signs of weakness do not go over well in life

She does not even know who she is many times

Even when it stares her in the face waiting

She is tired of always having to be so strong

In whatever form of what may be presented to her

Tired of having to know what is going on at all times

Tired of being the one sent here and there everywhere

Tired of feeling right in place when things linger

Tired of not knowing where she is at right now

Tired of being so unsure of where the future lies

With all these things she needs to remain strong

But she is tired of being strong so what is she to do

Friends are far away with her left to cope alone

Why must she be strong in the midst of it all

When can she fall to the ground without strength

Where will she be if she keeps on being strong

Who will catch her if the strength fades away

What will come of her who can only be strong

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Posted by on May 7, 2010 in Creative Corner


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Recovering Life

thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump

deathly silence, heart beat stops

was it enough, was there the love

approval maybe, but that one time

why did that happen, answer

purposefully made pain happened

recovered, sure, but does it repair

attempt at the best, is it enough

ran again, did wrong, turned away

but came back, tried hard to redeem

too far away gone, never enough

what to do, where to go, give up

no, can’t be, help is coming, wait

heart beat stops, deathly silence

thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump


Posted by on May 1, 2010 in Creative Corner


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Give Me Your Eyes

I would like to share with you one of my favorite songs, and yes there are many.  This is “Give Me Your Eyes” by Brandon Heath.  Looking for the lyrics, I stumbled upon the story behind the song…

“I wrote a lot of songs for this new record. ‘Give Me Your Eyes’ was one of the first that really stuck out. I co-wrote it with Jason Ingram, and musically, it has a hip-hop flavor to it. The song was inspired from the idea that every once in a while, God gives us His eyes. You tend to see a lot of different kinds of people in places like airports. Sometimes, usually only for a few moments, I feel like God gives me true compassion for those people around me. I think that the longer I get to know the character of Jesus, the more compassion I personally have for others. ‘Give Me Your Eyes’ is saying; ‘Jesus give me your eyes so that I can see people the way you see people, so I can love people the way you love people.’ One of the core goals of my ministry is focused on striking up conversations about social injustices around the world and being a voice for those who have often been silenced by poverty or lack of influence. I want to challenge people more. ‘Give Me Your Eyes’ does that. It is one thing to have compassion and quite another to act on it. Most times, it starts with the people around you.”  Brandon Heath

Now that you have read the story, let the song really talk to you.  What does it mean to you personally?  What things come to mind?  Focus on the video, close your eyes and listen, or do both (of course, needing to listen to it twice might be the case).

Now that you have listened to it and have some thoughts and feelings running through your mind, here are the lyrics.  Some people like to see the words.  It definitely helps with memory.

Look down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight

Touch down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what’s underneath

There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work, he’s buying time

Pre Chorus / Chorus

I’ve been here a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
I need a second glance
Give me a second chance
To see the way you’ve seen the people all along


There are times we do see what God sees.  Do we help?  Do we pass on by?  Other times we don’t even notice the people around us.  We are so enveloped in our own world, we can forget the world around us.

As I continue in my discernment process, I pray for many things.  Strength and understanding are among the top.  Knowing God’s plan for me I believe tops it all.  Another thing I have come to hope for is that I will see things around me and react in a way that God would want me to react.  Of course we can not reach everyone, nor do we all have the talents for everything.

I have worked at a Girl Scout camp before, approximately four summers.  Kids appear to be who I want to work for.  I love retreat work, started with TEC Retreats.  Supposedly the retreat world is where I am to be.  Applying to enter formation for religious life (and hoping they accept me, that God accepts me too) is my step to hopefully be the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus to the world.

I like this one particular line from what Brandon Heath says when talking about this song.  It is a prayer we should all say.  So I will leave you with these questions, the song with lyrics, thoughts of the artist’s as well as mine, and this little prayer taken from above.

Jesus give me your eyes so that I can see people the way you see people, so I can love people the way you love people.  Amen


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Random Questions

How do  you know when a love is the right love?

Will I lose wonderful parts of myself in finding myself in my vocation?

How in the world am I so messy when I hate mess and want clean?

When will everything finally make it in so I can get the letter?

Will I get along with all the other girls?

I am going to miss friends, no matter what, how often in life will I see them?

Where will my travels take me?

Can I spend time living in other countries?

Do people really know what God wants for them?

How shall I live each day as I wait for the next day?

In a world with so many influences, how do  you determine what is best?

Can I go hiking, camping, canoeing, backpacking, and all those things?

What is my one complete passion to live for?

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Posted by on April 8, 2010 in Inner Reflection, Random Things


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Even Jesus Prays, So Go Pray

As one may notice, I like to look up random faith quotes on the internet in my free time and share them, as well as how it may relate to my journey.  Here is another!

Virtues are formed by prayer. Prayer preserves temperance. Prayer suppresses anger. Prayer prevents emotions of pride and envy. Prayer draws into the soul the Holy Spirit, and raises man to Heaven. — St. Ephraem

Prayer is one of the most powerful weapons in our faith.  There are so many things that prayer can do in our life!  It can give praise, give thanksgiving, ask for help, ask for guidance, and so much more.  People have prayed since the day they started life on earth.  Even Jesus prayed, and he was divine!  He had fears, but he was able to lift it to his Father so that he may have the strength to do what needed to be done.

When we pray, we form the virtues and morals that will guide us through life.  Prayer helps us in ways we may not even be aware of.  Even just sitting with Jesus, adoration or in front of the tabernacle, in silence is prayer; being in the presence of Jesus is showing that we want to be one with him.  Drawing ourselves into prayer will lead us to heaven, isn’t that such a great reason to pray!?  Prayer can come in many forms, unique to each person.  As long as the Eucharist is the core, pray how prayer comes to you.

I find that as simple as the concept of praying is, I am not doing it very much these days.  We should always pray, no matter how easy or how hard life is.  I would always say that things are hard, so I must pray more.  In the end, now matter what, I need to pray more!  Of course, depending on what is going on in my life depends on how I will pray at a particular time.

For instance, right now the thing I am toying in my mind constantly is finishing my application and sending it in so I can hear officially back on entering formation for religious life.  There are the million of questions, I am envious at those who just know and know more surely, there are pressures all around me, I am far from friends and their love, there are all these things I fear giving up, I am all around an emotional mess.  The thing at the core that I continue to pray about is that I have the strength to handle what God gives me, as well as the response I make with it.  I could say so much more that may or may not be inspirational.  It would all be me, no question, but the only thing I have left is pray.  Pray it will all happen as it should and that we have the strength to go through with it.

So go pray, now.


Posted by on March 5, 2010 in Inner Reflection


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