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Monthly Archives: September 2011

Short Thoughts on Community

Community is the place where we grow in holiness, where we experience the healing power of Jesus, where we are challenged to live our vocation as holy women.

Every community has the potential to be life-giving or life-draining.

The common good is the most important in community life.

You cannot persevere in this life without good friends.

God calls us to live in community.

Community fulfills the deepest desire of our hearts.

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2011 in Living Salesian

 

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Why am I Blogging?

I was given cause today to reflect on the point of keeping this blog.  As I have known, but maybe never have had pointed out to me, this is completely opposite of me and who I am.  I am not someone who goes online and publishes posts like that of which are here, especially when people I know read them.  It is not a part of me that fits with the rest. 

In the beginning of the life of this blog, it was suggested to me I start it as a means of sharing my vocation story.  It was January of 2010 and I was in the midst of deciding whether or not to enter formation with the Salesian Sisters (aka formally, Daughters of Mary Help of Christians).  I gave a brief background on the events of my life that brought me to where I was at and shared some poems/lyrics I had written in the excitement of what could possibly come next.  From there, I lose track of where it went.  The post have been a mix of creative writing, reflections, music, wisdom from others, stories, updates on how my life is, things that go on where I am at, and such things of the like.  Now I look at it again wondering what direction I want to move in and what can make it more like me.  Part of me may have run to it as a place to hear what others say, I don’t need that in the end.  Part of me wants to inspire others, I still wish to do that.  There has to be a better balance I must say. 

In the future, there will still be blog posts.  What they contain, I am not yet sure.  I just know that I have been brought to think more about what I am doing here on this website where I can make anything public. 

 
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Posted by on September 27, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Guiding Lights

I wrote this poem a few days ago or so.  When I was writing it, I was in church for a SDB jubilee celebration thing.  This is the order in the pew starting on my left sitting down: my formator, my assistance, me, the “step-mother” (another sister who helps out with us sometimes).  It could definitely be also said of/to others as well.

To my left, to my right

You have given me light

It shines for me to see

Guide for what I want to be

Examples of great love and care

I too want to be there

Thank you for these souls

Who fill my empty holes

They help me on my way

As I grow each day

Each planted in me a seed

Please bless them indeed

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2011 in Creative Corner, Living Salesian

 

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Learning from Mother Mazzarello

When asked what I wanted to learn from Mary Mazzarello, I drew a blank stare in my mind.  We studied in pretty good detail, through reading the Cronistoria and Maccono, the life of Mother Mazzarello.  I had various reflections on what her life was like and how it could relate to my own journey to becoming, God-willing, a Salesian Sister.  To say now, though, what I want to learn from her appears very difficult.  This is what I have finally come up with.

I want to better know her life, her way of living, everything about here and relate it to my life.  Just to know her as the human person that she was here on earth over the saint that we praise her for today.  While they are one in the same, looking at her qualities that make her a saint causes one to forget about all the qualities that make her the whole person she was.  I want to learn the discernment and patience that she had with others.  In the end, I want to learn everything that I can from her.

There is no one particular thing that I wish to gain from this beautiful soul, but to soak up her life and who she was so that I may learn how to better be myself in this amazing institute.

 
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Posted by on September 22, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Living Salesian

 

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Be Mine

This may have nothing to do with the rest of the post, or it may, but I want to share this first.  I got to spend some time with an amazing sister here at the convent.  I was able to share only a small handful of the writings that I have been inspired to write.  She provide some really good insight and observations that she found in my writing.  It was really good to hear and much-needed.

Last night we got to go to Catholic Underground in LA.  It is not huge like it is in New York, but either way, we got to go.  While there in adoration, these words came to my heart then to my pencil and paper. 

—–

My friend, my brother, dear Jesus;

Is that you in my head?

Father, could you be calling;

That noise in my heart?

Spirit are you the breeze,

That wind that moves me?

Mother Mary, maybe it’s you,

The one that I hear inside.

One or all, why this call?

It penetrates me tonight;

Be mine, I hear, be mine!

How am I to do that,

This weak stumbling tired soul,

Unable to truly be myself.

Brother, how do I become like you?

Be mine you say over and over.

Father, What am I to do here?

Be mine you say over and over.

Spirit, how will I feel your presence?

Be mine you say over and over.

Mother, how can I trust them all?

Be mine you say over and over.

If that is all it takes,

Why is it so very hard?

Yet still the refrain repeats.

Be mine, dear sister, be mine.

Be mine, dear child, be mine.

Be mine, dear soul, be mine.

Be mine, dear daughter, be mine.

Be mine, I am yours.

—–

Thank you for reading.  Remember where they came from and leave them here please.  I would appreciate it very much.

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2011 in Creative Corner, Inner Reflection

 

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Mmm…Interesting

For some reason lately, the posts have been fewer and farther in-between.  I think I may have come up with some ideas or theories on why that may be so.  It is not that I don’t have much going on that is not deep and reflective nor is it that I don’t wish to share.  The internal workings of myself have been on overdrive.  I think more deeply and profoundly.  I feel even great than I have before.  I deal with much more than I may seem to.  The reflective bit of me is here just much as it ever was and just as willing to share as it ever has been.  What is the way I work is that I need to be comfortable in what I share and ready to put it into words that reach out, share, yet keep in private what must be kept as so.  Religious life pushes one in a way they have never really been pushed.  I can make al the comparisons in the world and such, but nothing with be like this, or even like what my past experiences have been, though they do play off of each other.

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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G-U-I-DANCE

These past days have been on the tougher end but don’t get me wrong, still absolutely wonderful.  I simply love the sisters!  Anyways, it has been hard.  There is a lot of inner battles and inner work to be done on myself.  This is of course, a bit normal for one going through a formation process as we are doing.  One of the sisters got me in my moment of complete meltdown (happens every now and then, I suggest not holding things in) since we are cooking together on Mondays this month.  I have talked with her a little here and there, vaguely. 

Tonight, when I got in the chapel for evening prayer, I found something on my chair.  I looked around and noticed no one else had it.  Certain parts of it were highlighted.  For the sake of sharing it here, I will put what was highlighted in italics.

—–

GUIDANCE – Author Unknown

When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing “dance” at the end of the word.  I remember reading the doing God’s will is a lot like dancing.  When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.  The movement doesn’t flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.  One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.  It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully.  The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE.  When I saw “G,” I thought of God, followed by “u” and “i.”  “God,” “u” and “i” “dance.”  God, you and I dance!  This statement is what guidance means to me.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life.  Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God’s blessings and mercies be upon you and your family this day and everyday.  May you abide in Him as He abides in youDance together with God, trusting Him to lead and to guide you guide you through each season of your life.

I hope you dance!!

—–

After much debate throughout dinner, I went to ask the sister I mentioned prior if she saw who placed a paper on my chair.  She gave me this look and said it was her.  It was perfect!  She has been cleaning out her office and such, and while doing so stumbled upon it.  I guess when she looked at it, she thought of me.  She highlighted it and left in on my chair to find at prayer. 

That little thing was something I really needed to hear I think.  It has given me something to reflect on.  As many people know, I love poetry, music, and dance.  All of that coupled with being in the great outdoors of God’s creation.  I am simply myself that way.  I am not sure she knows completely the timing of it, though I do know she has a really good idea of it.  This sister has really been a blessing to me and one of the two I trust the most.  I think I may have thanked her a few times for this one!

 
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Posted by on September 13, 2011 in Dance, Inner Reflection

 

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