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A Place In My Heart

As one may notice, I don;t blog as often as I used to.  Perhaps I am not as inspired, or the enthusiasm for finding something to write about is missing.  It is not that I have nothing to write about, for I have a world of things I could share.  So it can still be wondered why not write more?  Most of what floods my mind, my heart, my soul, and my entire being is too personal to share with the open world.  One day perhaps.  That being said, I do have a little something for you to munch on.

I have been wishing that a song would cross my path that would give cause for some reflection, and something to share here.  The problem is, I really have only been listening to music in the car nice and loud to drown out the rest of the world inside of me.  At home, I get un-excited to listen to my iPod.  Maybe it could be the fact that there are songs there that can snap me back to reality and all the good things there for me if I put my trust in the right place.  Regardless, I was looking at the annoying ads on the right hand column of the Facebook screen and say a YouTube video and clicked on it.  This is the song that started to play.

Wow, right?  It is called “A Place in my Heart” and it is by Irvin Evans.  To me, a not-so well-known name in the Christian music world, yet appears on my ads at one of the many times that I need it the most when usually nothing comes up anywhere (that I have seen because you know, God has a million blessings everywhere and we miss them).  Strange, don’t you think?

At first, it was purely the music itself, aside from all the words, that drew me in.  This would play as a beautiful instrumental music.  Then, as I listened to the words, it feels like the hidden prayer in my heart.  As I have learned, and still see to be learning, I can’t just pray for things and hope they happen and that I will instantly heal.  I need to give something and make room in my heart for what I am being given.  This song has brought me to shed tears that I avoid letting go on a normal basis.

I want to pray this type of prayer fervently, but God, I need Your help to even talk to you.  Even to talk to Mary, Mother of all, I find myself struggling.  Let this song you have given me sink it and open my heart more and more.  I can’t do this alone.  Please fill all the places of my heart.  Amen.

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2012 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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All I Want to Do

Upon leaving the formation program with the sisters, most of my life had this feeling of falling apart.  Deep down I still have that draw to only live my life for God.  I was given a list of things I need to do while away from the sisters, for I am able to return one day when I reach a certain goals put out for me.  When having to live my life doing things my heart is not in, it becomes difficult to stay standing and do what I must do.  In the end of the day I just need to remember and hold close to the fact that all I want to do is live my life for God.  What will I do to make sure that it keeps happening, that I don’t forget what is most important and that I hold on to what God wants of me?

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2012 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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Faith

Yesterday evening I went to an evening retreat to kick off the Year of Faith with Regnum Christi.  I was invited by someone who saw me going to mass everyday and happened to walk out of mass at the same time as me.  There was a speaker, Lucy Honner, who I found very interesting as she spoke about faith and what the Holy Father says about it.  I even got some notes from it!  She took the word ‘faith’ and broke it to five different sections on what faith must be.  I will share with you what I came back with.  The notes were chicken scratch…perhaps they will make sense to you!

F – Firm Foundation

Faith the rock of my life.

Faith my guiding principle.

Don’t just know and believe in Jesus, believe in His message.

Read Hebrews 11.

Actions of faith must be done with more intent.

Be and sustain.

Faith must become firmer and stronger.

A – Alive and Active

Faith is not passive and for ourselves only.

Gift from God, share and proclaim.

Faith evolves and grows, we must maintain it.

Keep the faith real.

Must leave an impression to others of my witness of faith.

I – Informed

Need exact knowledge of the faith.

Don’t be satisfied with limited information.

Pay attention to the content of our faith.

Remain up to date with realities of faith.

It is hard work, it costs, but opens outr minds.

receive and integrate.

T – Tested and Trialed

Faith is a gift to us, but we will be tested.

Can’t just make faith happen with good intent and good deeds.

Acceptance of ordinary things.

Embracing persecutions.

Read James 1.

Letting go, open to grace.

H – Heroic

Must be a hero of the faith.

World needs witnesses.

Be unafraid to stand up and stand out.

Risk and sacrifice own life knowing God’s presence and that He has a plan.

Faith is assurance of things hoped for.

Often times can be uncomfortable.

Be heroic in the way we pray.

Be heroic in ordinary ways.

Be heroic in relationships with others.

Be heroic in humility.

Be heroic in forgiveness.

Be heroic in the way we are called to serve.

Our creed is a summons and a charge to us.  It is like a national anthem

I hope you can find something that strikes your being in these notes.  I know they are not the best, but it is more than I usually get.  For reading on the Year of Faith, check out the Pope’s Apostolic Letter on the Year of Faith.  It will be good reading I am sure!

So, is your faith as strong and informed as it could be?  What will you do in this year of faith to strengthen yourself in our Lord?

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2012 in Inner Reflection, Retreat Experience

 

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A Day for Mary

Many times yesterday, reminders of todays feast of the Solemnity of The Assumption of Mary came across my way.  I guess when I got up this morning in a rush to change and get out the door to mas on time, I forgot.  Best part was showing in only capris, a t-shirt from a Casting Crowns concert, and old shoes.  This while everyone else looks at least a bit more decent than I did in my unshowered just woke up looking self.  At first, I felt very ackward looking as I did although I have been coming to mass like that on a normal weekday.  Some people looked at me like I was way out of place, even though I come more often than most.  That does not tell a person how much faith they have, I know.  After going to receive communion, I did not pay attention to the fact I was not looking the best.

I am one who likes to be dressed up and look my best for Jesus, most especially on bigger feast days and definitely on days celebrating Mary.  Perhaps this is because of the past two years of my life and how my faith has grown.  In the end, today is a ay all about Mary and I feel very blessed to be able to go to mass today.  I could have sworn that when we sang, I heard other voices more beautiful than I have heard in a long time.  This seemed to be more when just the cantor was singing, the random people who knew what was being sung, and no one else.  It sounded like a full choir in my heart.  It was very beautiful.

Upon leaving mass, I had a brilliant thought.  Donuts!  I went to the grocery store and brough home donuts for us to eat, even though I was the only one who really celebrated the day.  My sisters greatly delighted in the fact they got donuts.   I guess that is good enough for me.

Mary, please be with me.  I need to you more than I have ever needed you before.

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2012 in Inner Reflection

 

Riddle of Prayer Asking

There are moments in life where one really does not want to ask for the prayers of another not matter what, but those happen to be the moments when one needs them the most.  Even when one asks, one can still feel very alone and very gone.  Then one has to think, one would feel that way if one did not ask for prayers instead.  In the end, it can’t hurt for one to ask another for prayers, even if one technically did not ask but merely implied.

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2012 in Inner Reflection

 

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Missing Mass

Living in a convent, one goes to mass and receives Jesus every single day.  It is one of the greatest blessings in the world.  Now that I am out of the convent, I still try to go to mass every single day.  Recently, I must admit, it has not happened a few times.  I know, three times in the last two weeks to miss is not a big deal…nor is only going to mass only 5 times in 3 weeks when in Italy.  This would be, of course, to the common person.  To me, it was kind of odd.  I got used to not going daily while in Italy, but I saw enough churches to satisfy me.

At home though, I missed Sunday and Monday of last weekend, and today (Sunday).  Last weekend, it almost didn’t bother me.  When I went to bed Monday night, I didn;t even set an alarm so that perhaps I would oversleep and miss mass.  God, of course, woke me up in enough time just get dressed and run out the door.  The reading (whatever it was) spoke to me that day.  Today missing again didn’t really phase me, but inside somewhere I felt it.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of my Catholic faith.  It is beautiful and blessed.  I have never understood why I was drawn to Jesus and why I believe in what the Catholic Church claims as true, but I do.  It is what I am pulled toward and think about.

How is something I find so important, so hard to hold onto as a backbone in these difficult times when I need my faith more than I perhaps have ever before?

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2012 in Inner Reflection

 

Misunderstood and Different

Ever say or do something that was completely interpreted the wrong way?  Ever was not able to make yourself clear and understood?  Ever not even understand yourself?  Ever been told you are wrong without a second thought?  Ever felt like you were smashed to the ground, perhaps for being different in some way, shape, or form?  This is where I find myself quite often these days.  It is amazing how the sight of one can be so far off the sght of another.  There are times where incidents like these happen by sheer accident.  There are times where incidents like these happen for lack of even trying.  There are times where incidents like these happen because the other must be right and on top.  Of course, there are many other reasons that things like this can happen.  Do others see this happening in the world?

What are the effects of this on a person?  It tends to be more than one usually thinks it is.  Like I said in the last post, our language (verbal and non-verbal) have such powerful influence on the people around us.  We lack the ability to listen.  Then, not only if we listen, but then do we take in and consider what is being said to us?

How does someone respond to something like this in their life?

 
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Posted by on August 10, 2012 in Inner Reflection

 
 
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