Tag Archives: Satan

Your Little Lamb’s Tears

For what reason do these hot tears fall

I took my broken soul, answered the call

In this place there is found so much peace

Yet frustrating troubles do not yield or cease

In this all that my being truly weeps for

Or is it so much deeper, so much more

Explain all this in me, yes, I have tried

No one knows  fully all the reasons I cried

Surprised in me is something so great

But Satan tries to block it with such hate

Not able to fulfill all God wants me to be

I am left to discover even more, patiently

Misunderstood and disregarded, I then cry

For me and all else who struggle, but why

You see, a gift to be is given my heart

At times a curse if I cannot sometimes part

Here is how it goes, if you can get it

Within other people’s ups and downs I sit

Absorbing all that happens all around

There is really many things to be found

A lack of awareness and consideration

Leaves me hurt with unneeded frustration

How can I not move on from my nightmare

And see the other hurts lingering there

I am stuck in feeling it all, everything

Thus making it hard for me to sing

Let my hot tears fall, take what came

Pain and sorrow that leaves not the same

Help me to learn from this precious gift

So that my faith in you does not shift

I answered the call with all that I am

Keep me in your peace, your little lamb

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Posted by on February 27, 2011 in Creative Corner


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Paradoxes of Life

In my spiritual reading this evening, I came across this statement.  I thought it particularly interesting and it most definitely stuck out to me.  I am currently reading A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life: Welcoming the Soul and Weaving Community in a Wounded World by Parker J. Palmer.  It was a book that I had from a class that I took in college.

The deeper our faith, the more doubt we must endure; the deeper our hope, the more prone we are to despair; the deeper our love, the more pain its loss will bring: these are a few of the paradoxes we must hold as human beings.  If we refuse to hold them in hopes of living without doubt, despair, and pain, we also find ourselves living without faith, hope, and love.

I am not sure about the rest of you, but this is something I see a lot of in my life.  The closer I have been getting to what I have discerned thus far to be where God wants me to be, the harder it gets to really believe that it could be true.  The first paradox is the one that really hits me the most.  Doubt is a cruel things and it lurks everywhere in the world.  Satan does not want us in God’s army and he is willing to do whatever it takes to get you away.  Doubt leaves many people with unrealized dreams that God has given.  I always am praying that as my faith grows and develops in this formation process, the doubt does not increase with it, or that I am able to withstand it. 

What does that quote mean to you? Did it strike you in any way?


Posted by on January 4, 2011 in Inner Reflection


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The Pastor: A Story of Love

I was reading through random blog posts and found this story.  You should read it!

The Pastor

There was Pastor walking along the street one day when he saw a boy walking towards him carrying a cage with 3 frightened birds huddled in the corner inside it. The pastor approached the boy and said “What have you got there son?” looking down at the cage.
The boy looked up and said “Just some old birds.”
“And what do you plan to do with those birds?” asked the Pastor.
“I’m going to have fun with them. First I’m gonna pull out their feathers and make them fight and then I’m gonna feed ‘them to my cat” replied the boy.
The pastor looked down at the bird and smiled warmly.
“How much do you want for those birds?” he asked.
The boy looked up at him and said “Oh sir you wouldn’t want these old birds. They’re old and ugly, what use would you have for them?” The pastor was persistent, “how much do you want?” he asked.
The boy sighed and said “10 dollars”
“Done” the pastor said and he flashed out a 10 dollar note, the boy took it and then was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and took it home where he cared for the bird and aided them back to health.

At the next church service, the pastor bought the cage into the church and it on the floor by his feet. The people looked at the cage with 3 birds sitting peacefully inside it. The pastor began preaching and he told the story of the boy with the birds. And how it is in most ways related to the story of what Jesus did for us.
Heres how he put it…

Satan was walking down the street carrying a cage full of people, when he saw Jesus coming towards him. “What have you got there?” asked Jesus.
“People, I’m gonna play with them. Teach them how to fight, show them how to kill each other. Teach them how to hate and be evil.” Satan replied.
Upon hearing this, Jesus looked down and smiled warmly at the people in the cage.
“How much do you want for these people?” he asked. Satan looked at him wide-eyed,
“You wouldn’t want these people, they’d only disrespect you and hate you.”
But Jesus was persistent, “How much do you want?”
Satan grinned evilly, “All your blood and tears.”
And with that, Jesus looked at Satan and said…”Done”
Once the pastor had finished the story, he leaned down and opened the cage door and the birds flew out… they were free.

 After reading this, I was left with a wow feeling inside of me.  It is amazing the love Jesus has for us.

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Posted by on October 31, 2010 in Random Things


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He Will Get You Home

Hello world!  So I know that in many posts I talk about the frustrations of life and forget to share with you the joys and little surprises God places about.  In this post there may be much of the same with some talk of frustrations, but it ends with a surprise that occurred in the last moments of my waking hour.  Let me bring you back to this past Friday, yesterday if you read this on the current day of Saturday.

This week had surely brought me many trials.  Personalities run wild and all over the board.  Learning to know each other and how they work is something to take time doing.  I find that much of the things that happen that are not of a joyful nature strike at my core being, seeing as I am a very deep feeler.  Things of the past as well as things of the present are being used against me.  Others, as well as me, attribute this to Satan trying to pull me away from what God wants of me at this moment in time.  It was said of a friend from TEC that the closer we are to what God wants of us, the harder Satan pulls to get us.  Satan will take every means he can to get to us, using past bad experiences or those things/people around you to get you down. 

Basically, I have need to have a meltdown, just to stop worrying about it all so I may pick myself back up again.  Thank goodness for the friends I have back home as well as the friends I am starting to make here. 

It the morning during prayer, there were two things that popped up in the prayer time that stuck out to me.  The first was some lyrics to a song we sang.

For to live with the Lord, we must die with the Lord.

We must die with the Lord.  What a powerful thing that we forget all the time.  There are going to be hardships in life.  I personally just need to figure out how to deal with them appropriately.  The second quote came from a psalm that we read in the psalter of the office.

Rescue me, O God.

That is my prayer, for God to rescue me from all those things in my life that hold me back from what God truly wants.  With this all day, I was left to figure out how to live these things in my life and overcome what I need to get over.  Of course, the struggles piled up as I have not found a way to solve them.

So the end of the day comes and I am all a mess.  I stop by another aspirant’s room because her light was on and door open.  While talking with her, I noticed that there was a book on her desk.  It is a compilation of things that have been written by Max Lucado into a book called “Everyday Blessings.”  It gives a thought for each day.  Here is what I read when I when back to my room on September the 24th.

Satan falls in the presence of Christ….  Satan is powerless against the protection of Christ.  When Jesus says he will keep you safe, he means it.  Hell will have to get through him to get to you.  Jesus is able to protect you.  When he says he will get you home, he will get you home.

Oh my holy buckets of humor that God must have.  The way things happen like this, how else can one explain it but God?  I still do not get it, but it is what I needed to hear and still need to hear.  Just a little reminder that Jesus will bring us through.

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Posted by on September 25, 2010 in Inner Reflection


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The Depths of the Heart

Today is another day.  I walk from place to place looking around at my surroundings and all that fills the space of this place.  How did I land where I am in life?  What is it out there that is calling me deep in my heart and soul?  Life has always just happened kind in a flow with out much need for thought, although I have always given it more thought that anyone ever could.  Going to Saint Mary’s feel upon me in peer conversation of the decision.  Heading to work with the Marianist was a discovering of Google searching.  Desiring to explore the Salesians started with a meeting in a bathroom.  Everything seems to fall into line with I need more rope to walk across the desert on.

As I laid in my bed last night listening to my Christian music, something was pulling at me inside.  It was trying to go past my mind/thoughts, past the struggles I hold at home, past the frustrations that pop up around here.  It was calling me deep inside to something more.  So when I walk that place to place I try to picture life here, always.  Am I not letting the greatness happen by spending much time in pondering on it?  For my heart sang and danced for joy when the muisc played into my head.  Everything of my mind says all of this is not possible, not even faith.  Everything of my heart, soul, and being says this is it, God is there and he is watching out for me.  So what is it that I feel called to that is so much greater than this world and how can I describe it to anyone else in such a way that they could fully understand?  There are people here at the Salesians that I could surely voice this too or one of my two closest friends, no doubt there, but in what capacity?  Would I be underminding what God has in mind for me?

This part of me feel like that of which is greatly planned for me is hindered constantly by surroundings that cause me to doubt and think of myself otherwise.  I know that Satan will work through whatever means he can to get to those who are getting too close to God.  Here is a quote from a book called Unbound: A Practical Guide to Deliverance by Neal Lozano. 

[Satan] often walks through other people – those God intended to represent Him, such as parents and other caregivers.  Those with primary responsibility of presenting the character of God to the next generation are Satan’s targets and prime agents. (34)

How true that is!  Satan works in anyone that could cause you doubt, frustrations, and what have you; that could send you astray from God and what He wants for your life.  So then, it could be possible that even in the best of people, like those that I live with now, Satan can be using them to bring me to doubt the vocation that God wants me in.  Tell me so, isn’t that frustrating to be pushed out fromteh inside of what is so good and holy!?  With this in mind, the fight now becomes staying on my feet admist everything that life throws me, wherever it is from.  Then, how shall I discern what is of God and what is of Satan in what I am to do with my life.  All the same at moments in the day can be my feelings of leaving or staying, both giving me satisfaction but also both putting me in disaray. 

There is this other quote that hit me from the same book.

Lord Jesus, come and get me.  Capture my heart with Your love.  I do not have the strength of Jacob; give me the courage to ask  for the freedom and blessings that are mine in Christ.  Show me who I am and Your plan for my life, my identity and my destiny.  Bless me so that I may be a blessing to others. (29)

The part that sticks out to me in all the turmoil that is within is the first line.  “Lord Jesus, come and get me.”  I need to pray that He will come and capture my heart.  It is about all I can do.  Pray pray pray.  I ask once again, as always, that you will pray for me.  In turn, I will pray for all of you who follow and read my blog.  Peace and prayers.  Trust, don’t overthink.

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Posted by on September 4, 2010 in Inner Reflection


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Satan Dulls Our Hearts

“By the anxieties and worries of this life Satan tries to dull man’s heart and make a dwelling for himself there.” – St. Francis of Assisi

This quote goes right back to two posts ago when I talked about how Satan and God are fighting in the battlefield of our hearts.  Here we see the plan Satan has in the fight for our hearts.  He tries to weasel his way in by amplifying all of our anxieties, worries, frustrations, and anything else of the sort.  Think about it.  What is it that we hear about most often on the news?  The bad things.  What do we always think about when people ask how we are?  The bad things.  We so often lose track of what is good in our lives and the amazing things God has planned for us.

In my life I have found that Satan’s plan for the battle have succeeded more times that I wish it would have.  For those who follow, this is repetitive a bit but maybe approached in a different way.  My senior in college was perhaps the hardest year of my life.  Classes were becoming more intense.  Schoolwork more difficult and time-consuming.  Keeping involved with all the campus ministry activities harder to keep up with.  Time with friends just not happening as it was.

All this and more were weighing down on me.  The worries and frustrations that I had just took up my whole life.  With all that, my health was all over the place.  Professors wanted me to be a student first but without taking care of myself, how could I do that?  I went to one of the school counselors to see what they could tell me.  I had friends helping me through my classes.  I spent countless times crying out the frustrations on the shoulders of friends.  My heart was dulling and I was becoming very discouraged.  I could not see it during those moments, but now looking back I can see that something not good was settling into my heart.  Things just became a chore and I could tell I was losing heart.  Talk about driving oneself crazy, I was skimping by on being able to graduate.  The anxieties set in like crazy as I fought to bring my grades back up.  In the end of it I was able to bring things together enough to graduate!

Throughout all that there were bits of light from my friends and my faith, even when I seemed distant from my friends and my faith was wavering.  Some may not see it this way but I see it as this is part of what was going on.  Satan took a hold of me in those dark difficult times.  My heart dulled and things seemed everything having to do with hopeless.  It is amazing how all the different things in life bog us down.  Now I see what was going on in me a bit better and can more fully understand what to do when all the pressures push down.  I don’t have the added stress of school but instead a job to worry about.  I am not involved in extra clubs and things (boring…yes).  My friends are hundreds of miles away from me.  No matter where I will be in life, there are going to be anxieties, worries and such things that Satan could feed on to settle in my heart.  I can not allow that to consume me and bring me to places I have been.  When my heart is dulling I must remember to turn to God and those I trust in order to renew myself again.

Satan is everywhere in the world but God is as well.  Don’t be overcome with everything in life.  Sure, all those things that will trouble you and drive you crazy will be there but it is how you handle it that makes the hugest difference in life.  I let it all get a hold of me instead of giving it back to God and turning to my friends at first sign of losing sight of the good.  Hold onto God and keep Him the only one that is dwelling in your heart.  It will be hard, but it can be done.  Currently, as I await to know what I could be doing next in life, I keep praying that God stays in my heart and I hear is call each and every day.  Will you keep God in your heart and not be overcome with Satan?

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Posted by on May 18, 2010 in Inner Reflection


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