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Do You Know the Answer?

The other day I was posed with a question.  It was as such, “who are you?”  Much to my surprise, I was unable to come up with an answer, or even a partial one.  While most people responded with “a child of God,” or some related answer, I drew a blank.  Yes I am a child of God, but that answer was not one that snuck up in my mind at first thought.  This leads me to wonder.  Do I really know and feel truly who I am?

Our lives are filled with many things, but lets begin here.  There are lots of people in the world who define themselves by what they do, how they dress, and such related things.  Those things may express who we are but are not the definition of who we are.  We can get so wrapped up in worrying about those material things, or making sure we are “the best” at everything.  Of course it is good to do our best, but we do not have to be the best.  Either way, it should not define who we are.  I would not say I am a poet, I am dancer, I am such and such…those are outlets for me.

While others may know who we are, we are not defined by others.  I feel that this one is esspecially important to remember here in my days of formation.  A lot of who I am, whoever that may be, is being challenged.  There are always opinions around about you and always someone who will not like what you are doing, how you are doing things, where you are doing things, and you see my point.  I am seeing that we tend to let that overtake us.  While it is important to listen to the thoughts of others because there may be something of value there, we must also be aware that we still need to hold our own to some degree and not become what someone else thinks we should be.  There is a fine line in all of this, one I feel is tred upon quite often here.  There is still that search for balance. 

Ever feel like you live multiple lives with a couple different sets of personalities.  It is quite interesting.  While I may not be “crazy” in the way one would define someone of this nature, I do have the sense of this at times in my life.  This is where a big portion of teh struggle of “who am I” comes into play.  Surely a child of God is in the definition, but beyond that.  How do we really balance ourselves?  What do we do with the bad part of ourselves that we all have lurking away somewhere?  We need to focus on what we think God wants us to be.  So then we just circle back around to answering “who are you?”  Thus we end up withthe same answer.  A Child of God.

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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He Will Get You Home

Hello world!  So I know that in many posts I talk about the frustrations of life and forget to share with you the joys and little surprises God places about.  In this post there may be much of the same with some talk of frustrations, but it ends with a surprise that occurred in the last moments of my waking hour.  Let me bring you back to this past Friday, yesterday if you read this on the current day of Saturday.

This week had surely brought me many trials.  Personalities run wild and all over the board.  Learning to know each other and how they work is something to take time doing.  I find that much of the things that happen that are not of a joyful nature strike at my core being, seeing as I am a very deep feeler.  Things of the past as well as things of the present are being used against me.  Others, as well as me, attribute this to Satan trying to pull me away from what God wants of me at this moment in time.  It was said of a friend from TEC that the closer we are to what God wants of us, the harder Satan pulls to get us.  Satan will take every means he can to get to us, using past bad experiences or those things/people around you to get you down. 

Basically, I have need to have a meltdown, just to stop worrying about it all so I may pick myself back up again.  Thank goodness for the friends I have back home as well as the friends I am starting to make here. 

It the morning during prayer, there were two things that popped up in the prayer time that stuck out to me.  The first was some lyrics to a song we sang.

For to live with the Lord, we must die with the Lord.

We must die with the Lord.  What a powerful thing that we forget all the time.  There are going to be hardships in life.  I personally just need to figure out how to deal with them appropriately.  The second quote came from a psalm that we read in the psalter of the office.

Rescue me, O God.

That is my prayer, for God to rescue me from all those things in my life that hold me back from what God truly wants.  With this all day, I was left to figure out how to live these things in my life and overcome what I need to get over.  Of course, the struggles piled up as I have not found a way to solve them.

So the end of the day comes and I am all a mess.  I stop by another aspirant’s room because her light was on and door open.  While talking with her, I noticed that there was a book on her desk.  It is a compilation of things that have been written by Max Lucado into a book called “Everyday Blessings.”  It gives a thought for each day.  Here is what I read when I when back to my room on September the 24th.

Satan falls in the presence of Christ….  Satan is powerless against the protection of Christ.  When Jesus says he will keep you safe, he means it.  Hell will have to get through him to get to you.  Jesus is able to protect you.  When he says he will get you home, he will get you home.

Oh my holy buckets of humor that God must have.  The way things happen like this, how else can one explain it but God?  I still do not get it, but it is what I needed to hear and still need to hear.  Just a little reminder that Jesus will bring us through.

 
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Posted by on September 25, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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