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Music of the Soul

The melody, it sings

The harmony, it rings

The music, it brings

 

All of my heart

And all of my soul

Down to my knees

With praises so full

 

Sweet songs pierce the air

Filled with love and care

The music brings Jesus there

 

To all of my heart

And all of my soul

Down to my knees

With praises so full

 

All else is stripped away

There’s music to play

I am left only to pray

 

With all of my heart

And all of my soul

Down to my knees

With praises so full

 

Oh music, harmonies

Fill me with praise

Through music

Music of the soul

 

Now that you have read through this, I want to share with you the little I can of what is inside of me about this song and how I imagine it to be.  There are two voices for sure (maybe more!), a piano, and some wind instruments.  I was thinking maybe flute, oboe, clarinet.  There was also the thought of soft drumming, bongos maybe, but I have not got that far.

The first line, one voice.  Add the second voice in on the second line.  Add in instruments during the third line.  Piano can play lightly, not too many things, to start with the one voice.  The refrain is all that there is playing and singing.  Second verse is just beautifully done with such passion, dropping some instruments.  Refrain is again full and filled with life.  Into the third verse we reverse that of the first in some respects.  A little fuller in the first line, drifted to two voices in the second line, finally solo voice in the third line.  Piano continual, can drop a few notes here or there.  The final refrain is not as lively as the others, all voices are there, a bit more calm.  Two or three wind instruments stick around.  Into the ending, the wind instruments fade one by one.  Piano fades as well.  All voices are singing.  A little drumming may continue.  The last line singers only.

This is what I have in my head, roughly.  It needs work and altering.  It also needs someone who can bear with me and make sense onto paper the things I feel in my heart and soul.  Take it or leave it, but gain something from it.

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Posted by on January 25, 2011 in Creative Corner

 

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Mass to Cemetary to Adoration

Today was a day of a few good things.  For me, this was great since the last week has been a little harder.  Mass this morning was a success.  We had the little aspirant band plus a sister.  My musical fellow companion has really got me to enjoy playing at mass again.  We work real well together.  I always wonder if she knows how much I look up to her; also how much I want to make sure she is alright and like to take care of her if she needs anything.  Needless to say, mass was wonderful and she is amazing.

We had a half day silent retreat today.  What that means for us is going about the afternoon how we choose, but in silence.  I started my bit, after we all prayed the visit together, with a walk.  I wandered my way up to the cemetery, where I love to go to just be, think, ponder, reflect, and such things.  I sat on the ground at the foot of the cross part of the graves in the wall.  Leaning against the wall, it was an interesting feeling to know that the bodies of many sisters lay behind me in there, as well as in the ground in front of me on either side of the little path.  As I was journaling, this is the poem that came to me.

Past Sisters at my Side

Among past sisters I sit

Praying the best I have

For much wisdom lays here

In this holy ground forgotten

Maybe they will hear my cry

The tears shed in this place

In comfort myself let loose

To those who will to me listen

So I come here and pray

That they are with my Lord

Enjoying paradise in heaven

Laughing, talking with Jesus

I ask always for intercession

To guard and protect this soul

Throughout each and every day

For they too, have their stories

Perhaps just like my very own

That they may understand

Sitting with them here, now

I pray they see who I am

That they may help me to see

To become that special person

In their comfort I do give

All of myself to God’s will

As I leave their resting place

I pray they are at my side

It was very good to be up there in the cemetery.  When I got back down, I curled up in another aspirant’s really comfy and warm blanket until adoration.

At adoration tonight, I got to do the exposition and reposition, as I had written about yesterday when I learned how to do it.  There was something different I felt in me, even though most of me felt the same.  It was what I needed at this time and I could not have asked for better timing to be asked to do it tonight.  Thank you Jesus for giving me the chance to share you with this community.

 
 

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Missing the Magic of Music

Tonight was the concert for the Middle School and High School choirs.  Of course I had it in my mind to be attending even if we did not have to.  Then, of course, I was helping out with it as well.  How, might one ask.  Did I play an instrument?  No.  I turned pages for a companion of mine, who is a musical wonder (in my mind at least), who has been teaching eighth grade music.  She served as the pianist for the concert.  It was beautiful concert and many people left proud of their daughters. 

As the concert ended and people stood to clap and to go greet their daughters, I had this feeling rush over me.  I miss the magic of  music that was always in my life, for most of it at least.  It is not that it is not here now, but I am not in a band or of the like.  Being a part of a concert, even if it was the odd runs I did a few times or being support to the teachers (my companion and the paid teacher) or turning pages or feeding my companion with all the rehearsing, was amazing and wonderful.  No one needs to really know I was a part of it, but I know that I made a difference somewhere.

When all this set in, I felt a multitude of tears inside of me for all the memories that I have.  This of course was aided by all the other things I miss as well.  It is amazing the impression and good we can do for the people we come across, especially youth given the vocation I am discerning now. 

I do not have to always be missing the magic of music.  There are plenty of chances still for it.  Yes, there will be the memories and the things I will always miss and never forget.  There also can be new endeavors and challenges.  The magic of music is all around, I just have to know where to find it and create it and be a part of it.

 
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Posted by on December 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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My Retreat Taken Away and a Song Recieved

Today brought the emotion of two very different sorts.  One that leaves me a bit confused, hurt, lost, and frustrated.  The other bringing me such joy.  Here goes the stories.

The best way of me taking a step back (other than going to Jesus) has been taken away from what I am understanding.  I understand the reasons I am being given, but all the same the alternates that were mentioned were just as hazardous as what I do already.  Do I inquire the thoughts of another, or is that overstepping by bounds?  I was told by someone who has a say that I should do what I need in order to be reflective and sane, namely what I am doing.  Now, are there more limits than I thought to this?

A really dear friend of mine has taken a set of poems that I wrote during shared meditation into a song.  It is a conversation between me and the Lord.  As I was listening to it, I started to cry in the best way possible.  She could have not picked something better for timing.  The last line that was added/altered from another was perfect.  God is wonderful the people He puts in our life.  Thank you my friend for the song!

I just got a hug…I needed that.  Thank you to the one who just hugged me (although you may never read this)!

 
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Posted by on November 14, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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The Genius Music Teacher of Wonder vs The Music Teacher’s Worst Nightmare

I had a moment.  Okay, those who really know me or even you who have been following my blog, are most like thinking that I have a lot of those.  Well, I do.  Here is the moment I just had though.

Another one of the aspirants, the one who taught music for seven years before entering and is pretty much a musical genius, got her flute in the mail today.  She grabbed right before our visit to Jesus.  When we walked out, she looked at me and told me to go get my oboe out, we are playing.  Now keep in mind this little fact:  I have not played my oboe since the end of April…2009.  My checks and tongue after 15 minutes is a little weird and sore feeling.  Does this mean I need to practice?  I swear that I can be a music teachers worst nightmare.  I can sightread, don’t practice, yeah.  Maybe I am not horrible, but I wish I would have tried a tad harder back then.  I did try hard, but the practicing was another realm.  Tuning…that could use some work too.

Anyways, there was a moment in the playing.  It was so nice to be with one other aspirant playing music and just being together.  Memories came back to me, laughs and tears, joys and frustrations.  Music was an out and a great thing for most in the band. 

So, that is my moment.  It was good to play.  Let me tell ya though…I am very rusty.  Maybe I will have to practice….later.  😛

 
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Posted by on November 10, 2010 in Random Things

 

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NYC – full of walking and life!

Oh what a glorious couple of days that I have had!  In addition to the wonderfulness that I spoke about having on Friday, yesterday (Saturday) was just as wonderful.  After mass and prayers in the morning we had breakfast and chores as per normal.  All morning I did some cleaning and some homework and some reading.  It was beautiful.  Following lunch, around 1:45pm, most of us aspirants headed out to NYC.  We parked near the church we were ending the day at then hike our way to the Great Lawn of Central Park.  There I was able to meet up with my friend Wessa (as we called her in college, being that ther were lots of people with her name).  The others seemed to enjoy her company, so that was great.  Dinner consisted of meeting up withteh other aspirants, and sisters, for chinese food.  From there, I bid farewell to my friend. 

When we were done eating, we head to Catholic Undeground.  Let me tell you, it was amazing!  The night consisted of music, adoration, night prayer, and fellowship.  We did not stay the entire time, but rather we left early.  That part was sad, but then we got to have ice cream.

So, while in prayers and adoration, I came up with three sets of lyrics.  I am going to post them in three seperate posts so that they are more open to comments.  There was something that I realized when I was in the church praying.  Outside there is a lot of hustle and bustle.  People are going, cars are speeding by, life is moving at warps speeds.  Then, you take a step into the church and everything stops, focusing on the one things that is truely important in our lives, Jesus present amoung us.  A retreat that is so powerful.  That is simply amazing.

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2010 in Retreat Experience

 

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A Plugged In Society: Awareness of Surroundings

We are just that, a “plugged in” society.  Not even that, it is a cordless world where take our plugged in mentality wherever we roam.  As I watch the kids get off the bus and wander into school, you see a common thing.  Aside from the skirts hiked up and the lack of interest you are standing there greeting them, there are numerous students listening to there Ipods and mp3s, or talking on the phone. 

Now I do understand, in the morning, if you just don’t want to have that conversation with your parents on the way to school, but one could at least wait to step out of the car to plug in.  Move to lunch time.  You are at school with your friends and so our your other friends at other schools.  The phone has become such an attachment that one comes up with what is thought to be creative ways to hide the phone being snuck out of the locker.  This leads me to wonder if one day all communication with lack face to face time and the use of our voices.

On another note of similar yet different topic, the awareness that people today hold is starting to dwindle a bit from what it was.  We have become very good at pointing out that which is not good about a situation and each person and such like things.  Looking at the whole picture and what is the best is something I tend to find rare.  People have their thoughts and opinions and great ideas.  As a whole, many groups struggle to communicate and look at what is really going on around them in others.  Seeing things simply is something we all need to work on.  Listening fully to what people say without a quick fire response is also a lesson to be learned, one that can save much trouble.

So, these are just some thoughts of the morning that I have had.  Thanks for reading, as always!

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2010 in Random Things

 

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