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Longing for Rich Soil

On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea.  Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat down, and the whole crowd stood along the shore.  And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil. It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep, and when the sun rose it was scorched, and it withered for lack of roots. Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it. But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold. Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

Matthew 13:1-13

This was the bible passage my table had on my TEC (HV 55) retreat for parable skits.  It has always stood to me for different reasons at different points in life.  The explanation that Jesus gives explains that that each seed dropped on the ground correlates to how someone lives in there faith and excitement they have.

For me at times, each time the seed stands as representative of me and my faith.  The different ground types are the situations that I find myself in.  When at the retreat center, I found myself in rich soil more often that I have ever been in rich soil in ages.  Now, where I am at now, rich soil is not as common.  It is hard to find the rich soil when you are so far away from that which makes one feel most enriched.  How do you find that place of enrichment?

While the seed of my faith have been planted in rich soil, I have always felt that there is better field of soil for me out there.  That the flowers grow bigger and more beautiful then they are.  This is not to say that I should enter formation, but rather through being in formation and God-willingly continuing in that life, I should attain the greater and more beautiful in a the rich soil of Christ’s love.

With this being said, I request prayers as I transition from my time at the retreat center to starting the first day of the rest of my life when I fly out to the Salesians.  Thank you!  Peace!

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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Creative Writings Sparked by Salesian Possibilities in my Life!

I have decided repost some of my poems that show the passion and love that I had in me when I first learned of the Salesians.  The way I felt, the way I acted, the things that I wrote…all show so much as to what this is in my life.  It is good to revisit these works of art as a refreshment to my heart and soul what God has given me.  For each poem or lyric, I will give you the explanation of it before showing you it.  Also, there is a link to the original blog post for each one, so feel free to check it out and comment there.  There are more in-depth explanations in the original posts.  Remember, these are all my own personal works of art and I cherish them very much.

This is the first of two writings that came from my hands a night or two (do not recall exactly) after my visit with the Salesian Sisters/FMA over Thanksgiving.  It is a psalm entitled “You Call For Me.” (see post here)

You Call For Me

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Lord, whatever You want.
However You want.
Whenever You want.
Wherever You want.
However much You want.

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

My heart is racing
My soul leaps for joy
Your love is in me
In Your arms I belong

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

To be Your hands and feet
A beacon of light for the world
To walk hand in hand with You
Filled with such passion and love

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Never has a joy like this entered me
Like a streaming rush of water
A chance to fill an empty hole
To be Your servant, Your bride

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You.

Lord, whatever You want.
However You want.
Whenever You want.
Wherever You want.
However much You want.

Lord, you call for me. Help me to listen and to follow You. 

This is the second of two writings that came from my hands a night or two (do not recall exactly) after my visit with the Salesian Sisters/FMA over Thanksgiving.  It is a poem entitled “I Am Ready For You.” (see post here)

I Am Ready For You

Jeremiah 29:13 “When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.”

Oh Lord I did not see
I was not searching as I should
Searching You with all my heart
Now I see that You were there
And in lack of giving all my heart
Blind I did stay, lost in the world
Here, though, a change occurred
I give You all my heart now
Take it and do with it as You please
I earnestly search for You
Actively waiting for Your call in my life
Take me where You will, protect me
You say You are waiting for me
I say I am ready for You, here I am

Here you will find a poem that was rattled out of me during my second visit to the sisters.  I now leave you to read a poem entitled “Vocation.” (see post here)

Vocation

It is not very quiet in her heart so full
There is this tug, this bit of a pull
Something calling to do a little more
Drawing her to see what is in store
Fear trembles from deep within
She has no idea where to begin
There was a visit to come and see
Leaving her now on bended knee
With all of this she is left to wander
Her friends give her much to ponder
In all the moments of her past
Maybe this is what will forever last

This poem I wrote a couple of days before I started my blog.   It was what gave the final push to have me start blogging.  Here is a poem entitled “Prayer: See Inward, See Outward.” (see post here)

Prayer: See Inward, See Outward

There is this deep longing
Something that burns deep within
I want to run out dancing
But where do I really begin
I close my eyes and start to see
This image of complete joy
A woman of God who is free
Her faith she wants to employ
Songs in the heart filled with love
A voice with much to speak
Sharing what came from above
God’s will is what she does seek
My eyes open again with hope
At what could be my mission
With fear I must certainly cope
With God I must share vision
The longing inside I do hold
Burns to be released for you
Dancing and singing so bold
Beginning to live I must do
With God in my beating heart
Showing all those who care
Eyes wide open I am a part
Beauty in faith is my prayer

 The day before I started this blog, this was the final, final push to get me to start.  This song to be is entitled “Lord, I Want To Be With You.” (see post here)

Lord, I Want To Be With You

Today I saw you walking in the street
Today you glanced in my direction
Today my hand was put into yours
Today words of wisdom were spoken

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

How did I not see you there before
Trying to guide me on your path
How could I have been so blind
You finally have reached into me

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

Take my hand and lead me on
Never let me stray from your side
Remind that I’m worth your time
Send me out worshiping and praising

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

With you, oh-oh-oh Lord, with you
Give me the strength and courage
It is only you I long to follow
So leave me here in prayer

I am falling on my knees
Begging you Lord, please
Guide me in all that I do
Lord, I want to be with you

Lord, I want to be with you
So take me into your will

 So there you have it, the beginning of my creative writings relating to religious life and my life landing in the Salesian spirituality.  There are others I have written in relation to this as well as the many that are yet to come, but these ones are at the beginning, the core of a spark that hit me at NCYC the weekend before thanksgiving. (Reminder: you can read more back story about each piece I wrote by click the link posted for each one!)  I can give thanks to God for all He has done for me especially now as I prepare for entering August 24th!  Isn’t it wonderful, I could become an FMA, a Daughter of Mary Help of Christians!

 

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Let Myself Loose

Oh how I wish I could only describe

Feelings that run through my whole being

Longing, singing, dancing, wanting

The burning deep within trying to get out

If only I could be in a place to let it go

This fire that seems extremely mysterious

Unknown in me is much yet to discover

Why oh why can this I not explain

Turmoils run wildly all over good and bad

The past haunting, tiring it is to try to fix

Future, what is my future to bring me

Is religious life the journey I am to trod

Letting go of many things in this little life

Will I hold on to all that makes me

Love, oh to love and be loved forever

The desire to do so much always there

Blast that christian music out so very loud

Sing and dance like I have never done before

The want for more calls me constantly

How is it that I can not ignore all of this

This, what is this, this thing to calls me

It pains me to have to hold parts of me back

Ready to burst, full of passion and longing

On and on I could go until that moment comes

All will be as it should according to God above

But what am I to do now with this little life

I make myself little, hoping for big things

Nerves and questions run around my mind

Can great things really be planned for me

Am I going to be able to handle it all

The things that God has for me, is it true

Oh when will I be free once more

To live a life that is suited for just me

These words can not even begin to describe

All the feelings that live in my whole being

I am just waiting and waiting for the moment

The time will come when I can let myself loose

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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