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Paradoxes of Life

In my spiritual reading this evening, I came across this statement.  I thought it particularly interesting and it most definitely stuck out to me.  I am currently reading A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life: Welcoming the Soul and Weaving Community in a Wounded World by Parker J. Palmer.  It was a book that I had from a class that I took in college.

The deeper our faith, the more doubt we must endure; the deeper our hope, the more prone we are to despair; the deeper our love, the more pain its loss will bring: these are a few of the paradoxes we must hold as human beings.  If we refuse to hold them in hopes of living without doubt, despair, and pain, we also find ourselves living without faith, hope, and love.

I am not sure about the rest of you, but this is something I see a lot of in my life.  The closer I have been getting to what I have discerned thus far to be where God wants me to be, the harder it gets to really believe that it could be true.  The first paradox is the one that really hits me the most.  Doubt is a cruel things and it lurks everywhere in the world.  Satan does not want us in God’s army and he is willing to do whatever it takes to get you away.  Doubt leaves many people with unrealized dreams that God has given.  I always am praying that as my faith grows and develops in this formation process, the doubt does not increase with it, or that I am able to withstand it. 

What does that quote mean to you? Did it strike you in any way?

 
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Posted by on January 4, 2011 in Inner Reflection

 

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Receive the Power

I was just thinking of my World Youth Day experience in 2008 in Australia then decided to look up the song on YouTubethat was our theme.  It was called “Recieve the Power.”

VERSE 1
Every nation, every tribe,
come together to worship You.
In Your presence we delight:
we will follow
to the ends of the earth.

CHORUS
Alleluia, Alleluia!
Receive the power, from the Holy Spirit!
Alleluia, Alleluia!
Receive the power to be a light unto the world.

VERSE 2
As Your Spirit calls to rise
we will answer and do Your will.
We’ll forever testify
of Your mercy and unfailing love.

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
Lamb of God, we worship you.
Holy one, we worship you.
Bread of Life, we worship you.
Emmanuel, we worship you.
Lamb of God, we worship you.
Holy one, we worship you.
Bread of life, we worship you.
Emmanuel, we will sing forever:

REPEAT CHORUS

Isn’t this song so beautiful?  I loved hearing it so much as we walked all over the place in Syndey.  Listening to it again as I sit her thinking of what to write about brings back so many memories.  If I remember correctly, it was the first time anyone I knew had appraoched me about the religious life.  Sure, I may have been open to all vocations before that, but never really had someone asked me about it. 

In general this song brings it all back to the core of things.  Everyone coming together to worship the Lord and follow Him for as long as we live.  When we hear the call from God because Jesus died for us, through the Holy Spirit…we must rise and do the will that we are called to do. 

So pertaining that to religious life, it is possible and very much there.  Of course this song would take on different meaning for different people.  For me it is a reminder of the constant prayer, praise, worship, and sacrifice that must be made in the name of the Lord.  That does come in some reason, that is.  No one has to understand me and believe me.  That would be a great help if I were allowed to share my side, which I am not, but that is another story.  Anyways, it just resonates with me and where I am now as a reminder of what life is all about.

 
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Posted by on September 27, 2010 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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The Depths of the Heart

Today is another day.  I walk from place to place looking around at my surroundings and all that fills the space of this place.  How did I land where I am in life?  What is it out there that is calling me deep in my heart and soul?  Life has always just happened kind in a flow with out much need for thought, although I have always given it more thought that anyone ever could.  Going to Saint Mary’s feel upon me in peer conversation of the decision.  Heading to work with the Marianist was a discovering of Google searching.  Desiring to explore the Salesians started with a meeting in a bathroom.  Everything seems to fall into line with I need more rope to walk across the desert on.

As I laid in my bed last night listening to my Christian music, something was pulling at me inside.  It was trying to go past my mind/thoughts, past the struggles I hold at home, past the frustrations that pop up around here.  It was calling me deep inside to something more.  So when I walk that place to place I try to picture life here, always.  Am I not letting the greatness happen by spending much time in pondering on it?  For my heart sang and danced for joy when the muisc played into my head.  Everything of my mind says all of this is not possible, not even faith.  Everything of my heart, soul, and being says this is it, God is there and he is watching out for me.  So what is it that I feel called to that is so much greater than this world and how can I describe it to anyone else in such a way that they could fully understand?  There are people here at the Salesians that I could surely voice this too or one of my two closest friends, no doubt there, but in what capacity?  Would I be underminding what God has in mind for me?

This part of me feel like that of which is greatly planned for me is hindered constantly by surroundings that cause me to doubt and think of myself otherwise.  I know that Satan will work through whatever means he can to get to those who are getting too close to God.  Here is a quote from a book called Unbound: A Practical Guide to Deliverance by Neal Lozano. 

[Satan] often walks through other people – those God intended to represent Him, such as parents and other caregivers.  Those with primary responsibility of presenting the character of God to the next generation are Satan’s targets and prime agents. (34)

How true that is!  Satan works in anyone that could cause you doubt, frustrations, and what have you; that could send you astray from God and what He wants for your life.  So then, it could be possible that even in the best of people, like those that I live with now, Satan can be using them to bring me to doubt the vocation that God wants me in.  Tell me so, isn’t that frustrating to be pushed out fromteh inside of what is so good and holy!?  With this in mind, the fight now becomes staying on my feet admist everything that life throws me, wherever it is from.  Then, how shall I discern what is of God and what is of Satan in what I am to do with my life.  All the same at moments in the day can be my feelings of leaving or staying, both giving me satisfaction but also both putting me in disaray. 

There is this other quote that hit me from the same book.

Lord Jesus, come and get me.  Capture my heart with Your love.  I do not have the strength of Jacob; give me the courage to ask  for the freedom and blessings that are mine in Christ.  Show me who I am and Your plan for my life, my identity and my destiny.  Bless me so that I may be a blessing to others. (29)

The part that sticks out to me in all the turmoil that is within is the first line.  “Lord Jesus, come and get me.”  I need to pray that He will come and capture my heart.  It is about all I can do.  Pray pray pray.  I ask once again, as always, that you will pray for me.  In turn, I will pray for all of you who follow and read my blog.  Peace and prayers.  Trust, don’t overthink.

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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