Tag Archives: chaos

Not Sleepy Words

Last night I was unable to fall asleep.  There was nothing that could be done to get me to fall into a slumber.  Yesterday was an interesting day that I will not forget for a long time.  That will be a story those certain of  you know you will hear from me at some point.  God was being the Father He is to me and Jesus the brother/friend He is, let’s leave it at that.  Anyways, in the lack of sleep no matter what I tried to do, this is what came of it, typed out on my iPod. 

Have you ever felt something so deeply within your entire being?  Where words cannot even come close to describing what is running throughout you?  So it is with me.  So many times my heart feels like it will explode for lack of an outlet.  The simplest thing happens, good or bad, and the whole movement within shifts, looking for a form of expression.  Alas, you are not understood for what is felt; it is more than anyone else can comprehend.  Has that ever occurred in your life?  What did you do?  It is so often this appears in my life and all I can do is but simply contain it within myself, bottling everything till the moment it flies out in tears, of both joy and sorrow.  How can no one feel as I do?  Is there anyone out there who thinks it is possible that someone my age may have more wisdom than is usually given credit to?  In my heart there is so much to share, but no one to listen or who will take me seriously.  Is it the struggles of my life that hold me back?  Maybe the wisdom I feel have is not really there.  What does it really matter in the end anyways, what other people say or think?  As long as I am true to myself, right?  I feel deeply so many things all over the scale, from the worst of things to the most marvelous things.  Then what is left is what to do with all those feelings in me before they become a chaos and that shoots me backwards to things I have left behind me that try to creep on.  How can I express myself in a way that gives me comfort and joy, even with the sorrow too, so that I may be me?


Posted by on August 29, 2011 in Inner Reflection


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Soul of Dark and Light

Boom! Bang!

lost, afraid, running

which way to go, where to turn?

darkness, cold, not a single star

it is empty, completely empty

how did I get here?

someone get me out!

wait, a light over there

where did it come from?

bright, oh so very bright

it is warm too

closer, not feel so lost

what?  follow you?

you want me to give up my life?

No Way!  light, darkness

alone again, scared again

no, not doing it

who is that there, more light

happiness again, even joy

follow me it says.  why?

I gave my life, give yours

NO Way!  light, darkness

it is so cold.  chill.

lost, afraid, falling

whoosh —– light fast moving

inspiring goodness blowing

just follow and let go

let go of your life and follow

NO WAY!  gone light

all darkness, cold

oh it is so cold, lonely

crash, pain, dark

come back!  overcoming dark

swallowing me whole

Come Back!  lead me

take me with.  faded dark

light, warmth, joy

outstretched hand, whoosh —–

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Posted by on June 28, 2011 in Creative Corner


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No Words, Many Feelings

The words are gone

The feelings are there

My mouth is silent

My heart is chaotic

Help me to portray

Help peace to reign

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Posted by on January 22, 2011 in Creative Corner


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Divine Silence in a Torn Heart

There once was silence in my heart

Long ago as a small child care-free

Love was all I knew, life was so full

Then the years pass, war is waged

The silence dwindles, chaos builds

Oh how my heart has broken much

Consumed by lots, such uncertainty

Calm is hard to find admist it all

Once place I must go, before the Lord

For even when torn apart, He loves me

Will I ever find that silence again

Could it be here in this place secure

Then why chaos in my heart to dwell

Peace, pray peace to my heart so lost

Make it simple, make it full of love

Then maybe once more I will feel

The divine silence in my torn heart

It is amazing that even in a place where things seem to be coming together, I can be fighting a torn heart filled with chaos.  There is much to be healed and much to still set free.  All the same, I love it here and it is teaching me so much.  Lord, enter my heart please. 

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Posted by on January 16, 2011 in Creative Corner, Inner Reflection


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Patience My Beloved

During class this morning (yes I was paying attention) I started to be inspired to write again.  This is what came of that random inspiration to write.  It is almost like a call and response, being able to be sung as a psalm possibly.  I had an idea for the melody, but I must recall it again.  I see the refrain as God (in whatever form of the Trinity) speaking to us and the verses our call to Him in the moments of this life.  For me it relates more so my current place in life, formation with the Salesian Sisters.

Be patient my child, I am with you

For you are my beloved

Oh Lord I’m being tempted

My mind is full of chaos

Will I ever find calm

Be patient my child, I am with you

For you are my beloved

My heart pulls every direction

The evil one creeping in

Can I still keep him out

Be patient my child, I am with you

For you are my beloved

There is pain in my past

Following like a shadow

Does peace ever come

Be patient my child, I am with you

For you are my beloved

I am here to be with you

There is a great love in my heart

When can it be released

Be patient my child, I am with you

For you are my beloved

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Posted by on October 9, 2010 in Creative Corner


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