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A Salesian Vocation: A Very Abridged Version

The diocese of Paterson wants to have a mini autobiography of us in formation, so I have decided to share the paragraph I typed up just to give a very brief glimpse of my vocation story thus far.  The story can be expanded many pages I am sure, but this is the space we had to work with.  Read and enjoy!

Did you know that God can find you in the bathroom?  I always figured that God could do whatever He wanted to get a hold of whomever He wanted.  You see, I had never actively searched out religious life in such a way that I was sure it was my call in life.  My sophomore year of college was when I started to be open to whatever God wanted me to do in terms of vocation: married life, single life or religious life. This began from seeing a sister wearing a habit and developing a curiosity of what it would be like to live that life.  Over the years, my interest and curiosity stuck with me though I never did much about it, except the rare occasion that I would talk with my friends.  Graduation from college came along and I moved myself the following year to New Jersey from Minnesota to do something I love.  I was the volunteer intern at a retreat center that I discovered, via God, on the eleventh page of a Google search.  It turned out to be the perfect place for me!   When November came along, the director and I with four youth headed out for the National Catholic Youth Conference.  During my time there that weekend, I had my encounter with God in another very odd place.  While on my way out of the bathroom, I started to talk with two young women.  We stood in the bathroom sharing things about our lives.  As I was very quick to discover, they were a part of the Salesian Sisters.  When they first mentioned their apostolate to the youth, my mind and heart were spinning.  It was exactly what my life was filled with already.  I worked at a camp many summers, was currently working at a family retreat center and loved my faith immensely.  All I could think was “no, no, no, no, no!”  It was real and it made me excited, yet scared.  I tend to say that it took many visits to the convent, only two and half hours from where I was working, and a lot of encouragement from friends to make my decision to enter.   The truth be told after I look back on the experience, it was at that moment of first meeting the Salesians in the bathroom that my heart knew this was something I needed to try.  I guess I could still say that God worked through my surroundings to keep me on the path He wanted even though deep down he hooked me right away.  My prayer each day is that, God-willing, I am where I am supposed to be.  What else can anyone do but live each day to its fullest for the glory of God?

Inspired?  I am still inspired by my own story when I read it again! 🙂

 
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Posted by on October 11, 2010 in Living Salesian

 

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Fearless: Reflections of Life

I want to share a song that was another TEC theme song, this one for HV 61.  It kind of popped up in my radar of listening to music, so I decided to share!  This is the official video for “Fearless” by Building 429.

No I don’t understand
And I can’t comprehend
This power that draws me to you
But I know for the cross
I’ll consider it all lost
In an effort to tell of the truth

That the world may know
That the world may know
You have been heaven sent to us

(Chorus)
I’ll be fearless for You
I’ll be fearless for You
Take me I’m Yours
I’ll be fearless for You

All the times that I’ve failed
When my doubt has prevailed
These are the moments I’m giving to you
Cause I can’t be ashamed
No I can’t fear the pain
When it comes time to be living proof

So the world may see
That the captives are free
‘Cause you have been heaven sent to us

(Chorus)

Unwilling to bend
Unwilling to break
And Headstrong I’ll stand
No matter what it takes

(Chorus)

Fearless.  How is it that we can become fearless for God and all that He wants for us?  As I try to prepare myself for entering formation, I again am brought to think, and think lots.  Perhaps I ponder more than I should but it is how I am.  As the time draws near for me to leave, my heart pounds more and more with the desires that it holds.  That leads me to wonder if we can ever have everything that heart desires?  If we follow God and His plan for us, then won’t we have everything we need?  Deciphering what I am to do in this life I have here is a task that is difficult to complete.  In my life I have so called “failed” many times.  Be that in school, my health, or standing for who I am.  Looking back on my life, I need to be able to give those failed moments to God and pray that they leave me with but the lessons that I have learned.

So being proof to the world of God’s love for us.  How am I really supposed to be doing this in my life?  In recent one would say of me, entering formation with the Salesians Sisters in hopes of becoming one of them, a Daughter of Mary Help of Christians (FMA – the formal name/abbreviation).  When I first discovered this new found possibility, I was so ecstatic and excited more than most things I have ever felt in my life.  Religious life, living for God, ministering to the youth, the chance of doing retreats, and still staying connected to those I consider my family.  The thing is, is it what I really feel in my heart as the place I can be who I am supposed to be.  I know I am called to something greater and better but I can not tell if this is it or not.  Could this just be that I am waiting for some feeling that I want to have that tells me clear as day the path I am to choose?  Surely in my life does not give me clear answers, but rather has God meeting me in places such as the the 11th page of a Google search or the bathroom at a huge Catholic youth conference.  The consensus against many people, including myself, is that I just need to go into this and see what happens and what God tells me about this time I will be in formation, however long that is.

I can never understand what draws me to where I have been and where I go, the good and the bad.  I can only hope that the good things that God calls me too I will realize and step into with complete faith.  There are many things in my life that mean the world to me as well as are things that my life would be incomplete without.  How do I hold onto them?  I need to make sure I am balanced, unwilling to bend or break from the things that make me who I am.

So how do we go into the world demanding so much and following the one who made us?  “Do not be afraid” (Luke 1:30) of what is out there.  I need to be who I am and trust that God will show me His ways for me.  Community is a important part of me life, so I ask you all to pray for me as I pray for you (especially my TEC family and closest of friends).  With me, let’s strive to become one thing for God.  Fearless.

 

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