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Not Afraid Anymore

While waiting for Nicole to pick me up so we can hang out for the afternoon, I turned the television station to one that plays contemporary christian music.  One song had just ended and the next one began to play.

I said I belonged to you
But in a secret room
I kept a secret list
I said anything for you
Anything but this
Anything but this
You knew it all along
You knew it very well
You knew the sturdy walls I hid behind were nothing but a prison cell

(chorus)
I am not afraid any more
You have opened all the windows
Opened all the doors
I am not afraid any more
I fell the wind of freedom like I never did before
But I have spent the hours dancing on the floor
I am not afraid any more

 You have always been the same
I ran away from you
I ran away from you
Every time you called my name
I tried to hide the truth
I tried to hide the truth
You knew it all along
You knew it very well
You knew the more I covered up my heart
The more I didn’t know myself

(chorus)

No room for fear
No room
No room
No room for fear
perfect love is living here

(chorus)
(fade out)

 This song immediately as it started to play, sounded familiar.  I look at the screen then laughed a little.  I was told a while back that I needed to listen to this song by Marianne, one of my companions.  Right when the song started playing, I was getting lost in my head with all the fears.  God is very funny!  When I got to the car when my friend showed up, I was smiling and laughing about the song. 🙂

Really though, when I think about it a little more, I realize that I have to let go of some of those fears that I have.  If I do that, then I can be more open to the ways that God is working in my life, whether in the form of Father, Son, or Holy Spirit.  So much of this song at some point in my life has been true.  I really need to take the inspiration of the song in my heart.  God, help me not be afraid!

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Posted by on June 9, 2011 in Inner Reflection, Inspirational Music

 

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Do Not Be Afraid, Let Go!

Have you ever let go?  You know, drop all the chains that bind you.  Is there a moment that you light a candle before the Lord and lay down all you are?  Oh, the joy of the release amidst the tears.  How beautiful the intimacy of the love of the Lord.  Do you know what it is like to be the true you?  No, not just deep inside.  Do you do it, do you know how it feels?  To be your true self, created be the Lord, shown on the outside.  So do you let go, fully?  Are you able to drop those chains in the darkness and find the Lord’s light?  Oh the joy it would bring!  Such a fire would burn inside of you that all would see the Lord’s love glowing from you.

Are you afraid?  Do you fear something?  What is holding you back?  Take your light to the Lord.  Prayer for loving protection.  With the Lord’s loving protection, what could go wrong?  Do not be afraid?  You can let go.  Drop the chains that bind you.  Run from the darkness and light your fire.  Did you know that someone is waiting to receive the Lord’s love and protection from you?  Be your true self designed by the Lord.  Do not be afraid of who you are.  No one else is qualified.  What are you waiting for?

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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A Simple Prayer and Response

Yesterday while recreating in the aspirant community room watching a movie, two poems came to my pen and paper.  The first is a prayer coming from me and the second is one in response from the Lord.  Whether or not He was speaking to my heart, I am not sure.  It is what flowed onto my paper and I love them.

Oh great God, Lord of all

Please hear this my call

My heart beats with love

Have you sent this from above

The yearning is so very strong

To be where I am to belong

Dear Lord I fail to see

How this can all really be

Many times I understand

The passion of this land

Then hurt really creeps in

And the doubt does begin

Lord, strength I need

Give me the words to heed

Without you, lost I remain

With you, love I cannot contain

So please stay at my side

Lord with you I wish to abide

—–

Dear child, I love you so

This I want you to know

Hard times will be there

Remember that I do care

Carry this your own cross

Count nothing as a loss

As the days go on by

afraSend your sorrows in a sigh

Give them all to me

Spread love for all to see

You are meant for things great

In a world with much hate

Be not afraid of life to come

I know where you are from

Your experience do share

For your heart is full of care

Be patient in all you do

My child, I truly love you

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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Be Strong

She is the one who always has to be be strong

No matter what is going on in any aspect of life

She is expected to constantly be on top of her game

There can be no mistakes and it must be done right

She can not show being unsure in answering

But must be ready to jump on command when called

She has to know just what to do and nothing else

If not that then she must not know anything at all

She is the listening ear that people can come to

Where is her chance to just talk everything away

She is not allowed by herself to be fearful and afraid

 Signs of weakness do not go over well in life

She does not even know who she is many times

Even when it stares her in the face waiting

She is tired of always having to be so strong

In whatever form of what may be presented to her

Tired of having to know what is going on at all times

Tired of being the one sent here and there everywhere

Tired of feeling right in place when things linger

Tired of not knowing where she is at right now

Tired of being so unsure of where the future lies

With all these things she needs to remain strong

But she is tired of being strong so what is she to do

Friends are far away with her left to cope alone

Why must she be strong in the midst of it all

When can she fall to the ground without strength

Where will she be if she keeps on being strong

Who will catch her if the strength fades away

What will come of her who can only be strong

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2010 in Creative Corner

 

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Reflection Time

I am on a journey.  No, I don’t know where I will end up.  Yeah, I know where I am now.  Do I believe that God is guiding me in all the steps I take in life?  Of course I do.  Are there hard times and periods of difficulty with questions of possible doubt?  Sadly, yes.  We are a human people who are are affected by the evil in the world.  When thinking about entering formation (God-willing), things have come to mind that I will have to let go of.  Of course that is going to be hard!  It doesn’t mean I not ready, or that I am not suited for the life.  It means that I am human, a deep thinker, and just trying to figure things out.  Aren’t we all trying to figure things out?

On of my favorite things to do is to take bible verses and see where they inspire me to go.  My range of verses that I know off the top of my head is small, but when I come across one, I like to look at it and see where it takes me.  Sometimes I reflect on it literally.  Other times it causes me to think a little deeper into myself.  I am going to bring up a couple of my favorites that I use often as I love going back and seeing what new places they take me.  Translations do vary, sure.  When we translate many things in the world, not just bible stuff, various responses do come up.  Each leads us to think about our life in a deeper way, or so we hope!  I found to be a progression in the verses, with my life, that I thought interesting.

“When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Seek with all your heart!  Let it all go and seek him!  This, as I have mention many a post ago, was the verse for my TEC retreat.  It is amazing how we think we are putting everything we have into search for the Lord and what he has planned for us.  That was the case for me.  I thought that I was putting everything of me into searching.  This past year, it hit me that I really wasn’t.  I feel that after that moment, I have changed to put myself more fully into the search of God and his plan.  The search is constant, it never stops!  Of course I stray here and there, who can honestly say they never have?  My goal here is to never hold back from the Lord and put my all into the search.

“Do not be afraid” Luke 1:30

Did you know that of all the commands to people that Jesus gave, to not be afraid is the most common one by a long shot?  I do not have my book off hand, but this is the thing that struck me the most.  We are a people afraid, and always have been.  We don’t know what is going to happen.  We don’t know where God will reach us.  We don’t know if we will be ready.  We don’t know a lot of things.  The thing is, God does.  He knows what will happen, where he wants to reach us, and he will make sure we are ready.  We may slow the process down if we are not putting all our heart into the whole search!  As hard as it may be, especially at first, we must not be afraid.  We are taken care of when we trust and let our heart be God’s.

“O Lord, You have seduced me, and I have let myself be seduced.  Your word in my heart is like a consuming fire burning deep within my bones.” Jeremiah 20:7

When I first saw this verse, I was excited.  It puts into words some of what I feel when I get all excited about religious life.  We want the Lord to be in us.  We want to take that feeling of the Lord in us and share that with everyone.  To really know the Lord is wanting to know him more.  We can do that by putting are whole heart into the search, giving it to God.  Oh how afraid we are to let loose and let God take us where He wills!  When you figure something out and are drawn to it, you know it.

Like I have said, you may not know where you will go after the first move, but taking that first move is so vital.  If you go and try something that you think God wants you to do then am not filled with joy, God may change his mind or you need to look a little deeper.  There are lessons in every part of life.  For me, I am taking the step to enter formation.  From there, I hope I found the right path.  I could be a Salesian Sister!  If it is not right, God will tell me.  He may want me to experience it so I know what it is like, but then guide me elsewhere.  I just pray that I always search with all my heart, am not afraid, and will let the Lord burn deep in my bones!

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2010 in Inner Reflection

 

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