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78 Days

06 Jun

There are 78 days to go until I am to arrive for my first step in the convent as an aspirant.  I can not tell you the amount of feelings and emotions that I have in me about this part of my life to come.  It is a huge joy.  It is something I have never imagined actually doing.

One of the things I have had the most difficulty with in the simplest way is about wearing the habit and veil.  For the longest time the habit (for as long as I really knew what it was) has always intrigued me quite a bit.  The thing is, I have not always been so sure I can see myself wearing it.  To me, there is a great sense of peace to feeling the breeze run through my hair and on my bare skin.  There are things like swimming at the lake at my grandparents cabin with my family, possibilities of others around.  Of course, that time being a ways away, who know what ministry I will be doing and where things will take me.  Yet still the habit does thoroughly intrigue me.

That being said, here is my point.  I have had interactions with sisters, or see sisters often enough, that do not wear the habit.  Watching them and thinking about where my life is headed, I try to decipher where I think I am in the thought of wearing a habit.  My realization is that I am not sure I could live as a sister not wearing a habit.  There nothing that separates them from everyone else as a wedding ring separates a married person.  They do have a distinctive medal, but anyone can wear a medal.  It is not that I am unappreciative of them in the choice their order has made, it just is not for me.  Through trying to picture myself as a sister without a habit and veil, I have come to realize that maybe the habit and veil of the Salesians could be something I could wear.

78 days left to go!

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2 Comments

Posted by on June 6, 2010 in Inner Reflection, Living Salesian

 

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2 responses to “78 Days

  1. kkollwitz

    June 11, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Whatever you are, you should look like it out of respect to everyone around around you. Society is reinforcecd by its members’ adherence to visual norms as well as behavioral ones.

     
  2. Tess

    June 20, 2010 at 9:09 am

    It’s interesting to hear your thoughts and what comes up for you when you consider wearing the habit. At the convent I visited I only saw Sisters very occasionally in secular clothes when doing particularly heavy gardening. Because the community is enclosed, even this was only visible to the community. The main feeling that comes up for me when I consider wearing the habit is how my behaviour and even how I carry myself would immediately reflect on the community as a whole. In that sense I feel very unworthy of it, but then I will not be wearing it until after a period of some months as a postulant, by which time one would hope & pray that God has done a good work in me and I will be ready.

    I am personally very glad that the order I am hoping to join do wear habits almost all the time. I think it is a powerful and visible witness of God’s Love for us. It is a way of showing to the world that we are not ashamed of the Gospel, nor of Jesus.

    I also wonder, if I do eventually become a novice and wear the habit, will it change me? A friend of mine who is a priest tells me that when he puts on his robes he does somehow behave just a little differently.

    Like you I am intrigued!

     

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