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Let Go

11 May

The following song is called “Let Go” and it is by Barlow Girl.  We used this song during the teen retreat this past weekend and it came to my mind today with all that I have been dealing with and figuring out.

Yeah I trust in You
I remember times You led me
This time it’s bigger now
And I’m afraid You’ll let me down

But how can I be certain?
Will You prove Yourself again?

[Chorus:]
‘Cause I’m about to let go
And live what I believe
I can’t do a thing now
But trust that You’ll catch me
When I let go
When I let go

What is this doubt in me
Convincing me to fear the unknown
When all along You’ve shown
Your plans are better than my own

And I know I won’t make it
If I do this all alone

Letting go, how fitting to me.  I am guessing that most of my friends are still shouting at me to let go of certain things in my life and I will, as soon as they are solved.  Even more than that I need to let go, we all need to let go.  We should do what we need to do  so that when God steps in, everything is in its place.

Everything is bigger now in my life.  The hard moments show what a bigger deal they are.  The great things God has planned for me are a big deal; I am no longer just a student making my way through school.  I used great courage to land myself all the way out in the point of New Jersey from my Midwest life in Minnesota.  It was all for the good to do the work I love to do.  Worth it?  Oh yes it has been.  Then I find myself having turned in an application to enter with the Salesian Sisters of Saint John Bosco, formally known as the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians.  Crazy!  My energy in the beginning of this part of the journey was astoundingly high.  Now, I find myself at a different level.

I still feel called to formation with the Salesians; I still know that if this is not where I end up, God must have a plan or I screwed up the plan.  There is yet a phone call to tell me what the outcome of my application is nor an e-mail in reply to what I told Sister Phyllis about my current status in life.  It makes me real nervous to not hear anything back.  Granted, this new info could change things a little, I must let go and let God take care of it.

It is hard.  What is “it?”  It is being really far away from friends, dealing with what is inside of me, balancing my work, taking care of myself, waiting for a response to my application, doing things I am not sure of, making a positive difference in people’s life (proper lack of comma use…Jessica) and so much more.  It is going to be hard, who said it would be easy?

We have got to let go and trust God will catch us.  No it will not just happen.  If it rains on the fields and we have not prepared them, nothing will happen.  We need to prepare ourselves for God and we do that by taking the right steps that allow Him to show himself to us.  Whether that is through taking the right path to solving problems or opening the doors to what may lay ahead, we need to do it.  For me, it is both finding the path to healing and keeping open the doors of possibility, all without getting discouraged.  Hard, yes.  Possible, yes.

Let go, God will help you if you just let go of the control.

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